Moving Interstate

[Laurenk7]

Hello, I am new to this forum so I'm not 100% sure what I'm seeking.

I am supposed to be moving from Victoria to NSW in the start of February, -and while I've already moved from Western Australia to Victoria I'm finding the whole process impossible. I can't get motivated to pack, clean, organise, make calls, instead I just end up feeling really down and anxious about not doing these things. I usually have a 'just do it' attitude about most things, but I'm finding this really hard, it's making me isolate myself from everyone.

Does anyone have any tips on how to start with this sort of huge project? Or how to push through this barrier of depression/anxiety?

Thank you.

[SubduedBlues]

Hi Lauren

Welcome to the BB forums. Sometimes we don't need to know what we are seeking. Sometimes we just need to vent out our concerns and see what advice comes forth. And only then, are we able to guide or adjust the types of advice we need.

Moving: whether it be interstate, intercity or just across town, moving can be a very daunting process. I should know, by the time got out of high school I had already lived in a dozen different towns and cities across the country.

The pack-up used to be a signal that most of my friends will become but mere memories. It says that I am going to a new place where I have to go through the process of building new friendships -- with strange random people that I don't know. As I got older I learned to interpret this as the dawn of a new beginning, a clean slate (where no one knows about the time I embarrassed myself doing _____). I see moving as the ideal opportunity to re-invent myself as that person I want to be known as; and best part is that I don't have to show people that I changed -- everyone is new so they only know me as what I am now (not as what I was before). And in respect to new friends... well everyone is a random stranger before we meet them.

One thing that I find useful is to write out a "To Do" list and assign days by when I will have it completed by. And make the list very detailed, remembering to always break down any big tasks into many smaller tasks... so that there are lots of "little" tasks that need to be done -- no big ones. Then as each "little task is completed I have a growing sense of "I did that" accomplishment... as I see each of the items on the list being ticked off as done.

SB

[MsPurple]

Hi Lauren I know how you feel as I have moved states a few times. I grew up in Warrnambool Victoria, moved to melbourne for uni, then sydney for postgrad uni, then back to melbourne and I moved to recently moved to Brisbane. I know how difficult it can be trying to be movitvated to pack and move. I also know how stressful it would be. I was motivated to move for uni as I wanted to go to uni and I was excited by it. The brisbane move wasn't too bad as my mum was moving as well so we all had to be out of the house by a certain date due to the lease ending. One reason you maybe struggling with the move is because you motivation isn't that close. Starting to pack with over a month to go may not be enough of an insentive or motivation. I usually got motivated by the 2week mark. I also talked to my therapist regarding my concerns with the move. That helped me acknowledge my anxiety and stress and concern regarding the move and I my thoughts changed from fear to rational concern which turned to constructive ways to fix the concern (e.g. concerned about driving my car from vic to qld so organising a cheap car transport). I know it is hard but try making a list of things you need to do and try have a set date for each job. This may help you stay on track. And don't worry if you get behind. As long as it all gets done by moving day it will be ok. As anxious people we over worry about everything, try not overstress. Talk to someone about your concerns with packing and maybe ask for help if you can. Nothing wrong with getting help (my mum helped me choose which clothes I should move and which to get rid of).

Hope this helps. Let me know if you have any questions.

[geoff]

dear Lauren, your first post so it's definitely a great worry for you, just as it has always been for me, especially my last move to where I am now.
I had to pack by myself but it was my garage which was the greatest worry, I couldn't do it, either by myself or with someone helping me, so I got a friend who was interested in a lot of what I had, so he cleaned it all out plus he moved the grass so I could get the bond money back, but unfortunately what happened was I fell into a relapse of depression, which lasted for about a month, so this is a great concern I have for you, because it seems to be already happening.
There will be a deadline that you are expected to move out by, so what I did was just do a little bit every day and then stop and do whatever pleases you, if that's at all possible.
If you can afford it, or manage to pay them off in instalments the transport company can do it all for you, or if you are changing jobs ask your employer to pay for the removal and take payments out every time you get paid.
I hope you can get back to us. Geoff. x

[pipsy]

Hi Laurenk7. Not sure if this will help. I left my hubby at the end of last year 2015. I was similar to you, in that I was depressed because my marriage had ended and I blamed myself. One day I just put basic necessities into an o/night bag. By that I mean nightie, toothbrush etc. I had made a list of what I intended taking. I stayed with my daughter and her hubby, my son, son-in-law and I went round to the house during his absence and collected everything I had listed. Linen, I just put into huge bags, clothing was put in two cars. We had about 4 hours to get everything. I took what I wanted, went to my sons and put everything into boxes he had collected previously. I put myself on a sort of 'automatic pilot' system as I knew if I thought about what I was doing, I would stop Once I had moved into where I am now, the depression, crying etc hit hard. I allowed myself the grieving period as it was important to grieve to let go. Sometimes moving quicker is better than delaying. Perhaps now is the time to start listing things. Mentally place them in your new home. Start cleaning a room at a time. Worry about address changes once you have relocated. Arrange to have your phone switched off about a week before you move. Same as your power, gas (if you have it). Give your new address to the companies you have been using, they will let you have the final account and you should have time to settle these. Make a list of everything in your unit, so when the inspection happens, your landlord/estate agent and you are on the same page.

Lynda

[Laurenk7]

Thank you all for your responses. I have broken things down into a list, arranged hard rubbish collection and am currently cleaning out the shed. Hopefully this motivation will push through.