Life seems...pointless?

Bpooch · ‎24-05-2016

Hi all. First time here so a bit nervous, but I figure this is the first step, right?

Anyway. I'm here because I'm desperate to go back yo the way I was - happy.

I've had anxiety and depression on and off during my life (well, since my teens). About over a year ago now I was overweight. After finally having enough, I went through a big bout of determination and as of October last year, I had lost over 30kg. I was (and still am) finally a healthy weight. But since then, my eating and exercising habits have not been very good. I've somehow maintained my weight, but my eating habits are poor.

So recently, my wifes uncle just found out after having a tumour removed from behind his eye and being in remission - that the cancer has returned at the base of the brain and is inoperatable.

This got me thinking about my own mortality and since then I have dug myself in deeper and deeper to a state of depression. Lately, all I've thought is that life is pointless. I can do and say anything, but what is the point? We all die. Nobody will remember anything I do or say. I make no difference. Everything I like doing I just think "What's the point. It's all going to end and everything you do or have as a hobby is just a momentarily happiness that will just end."

So as you can tell, I'm pretty deep in this. I will do anything to get out of this.

Another thing I probably should add is that lately, I've been questioning my faith. I've never been heavily into religion and have only just recently learning that perhaps there is nothing out there. No afterlife. No anything. I had always believed in "something" and that made me happy and hopeful, but know nothing.

Please help! It's affecting my wife and I can't bear to do this to us.

white knight · ‎24-05-2016

Hi bpooch welcome

Yes you do need to do something. Obviously a psychologist is the way to go but you can with some determination, make a difference. It will take a serious change of attitude. How do we get that?

Well I wasn't unlike you in the 1980's. Then came across a wise inspirational man called Maharaji real name Prem Rawat. Its not religion.

Google two if his many videos

YouTube maharaji prem rawat sunset

YouTube prem rawat the perfect instrument

And many more

At around the same time 1982 I attended a motivation lecture. Google this

Topic:30 minutes can change your life- beyondblue

These all had a profound effect on my life, I went from negative thinking to outright positive. Experiencing mind downturns because of depression doesn't mean one is negative....we need to separate that because that is unavoidable.

A sunset lasts two hours

The blooming if a flower lasts 30 minutes to an hour. Until we have watched these, life's gifts, from start to finish...we haven't lived.

The answer lies in your determination. We can direct you on that journey but the rest us your doing.

Good luck. We are here for you for support.

Tony WK

pipsy · ‎24-05-2016

Hi Bpooch. White knight is so right with his answers. Questioning every detail of your life is understandable given your wife's uncles' illness. Whenever we hear of someone either family or close friend with basically an incurable illness, we tend to over think our own mortality. As far as religion goes, I personally believe that when someone dies, their soul is re-born into another baby. I'm not talking re-incarnation I don't believe that. I do have a type of faith, I attend church and do have a 'family' based on the church. You say it's not worth enjoying hobbies because they're just a momentary happiness. But the happiness you obtain from the hobby is worth every minute you're with the hobby. As for no-one remembering anything you say during your life. That is so not true. My dad died the year before Elvis, a lot of what he said in his short life, (he was 56 when he passed), has stayed with me throughout mine. I can't say he was overly wise, but he had travelled. He would sometimes also talk about his war life. He was a returned soldier with the N.Z army. He was quite a good judge of character, taught me a lot about the way men relate to women. He would talk about the different countries he had seen. The longer you live (hopefully a good long life), the more knowledge about life you pass on to the next generation. Everyone learns something from the previous generation.

Lynda.

trustlife · ‎24-05-2016

Hi Bpooch. When you consider that we have a part of us connected to life, we can accept in most cases, that the more we tune into that part, the better our life becomes. Now, these are just words and I expect that in theory you would agree with them intellectually. So look at it this way. In physiological terms there are thousands of operations going on in our bodies and mind. If we were to consciously run them we would have to do at least the following:-Keep the heart beating to pump the blood through our veins,Constantly check for any impurities in our blood and send cells to deal with them,Continue to filter nutrients out of our food to maintain proteins etc. All of these if consciously done we be quite a task. If we did manage to perform all these task consciously we would be dead. We forgot to inhale oxygen. The point is that when we question our mortality and life, we actually are doing it all already. We have a perfect balance in our bodies (and you've done a massive job ensuring it says that way with your weight loss), we have hope, courage and love all safely tucked away in our minds just waiting for the right moment to blossom. Thought of depression can't do any of this. They can only exist if there is conflict in the mind, ie being depressed v not being depressed, losing 30k v eating junk food, having a healthy body v your wife's uncle's tumour. Ignore the conflict, if you want some junk food have it without guilt. You'll find you won't have it so often. If you're feeling depressed, ignore the effects and look in the mirror. How good do you look now. In terms of health in the family, the most important response now to that is to 100% support your wife. Drive her anywhere, cook, clean the house. I promise you it will have an incredible effect on you.Finally, when your diet is reasonable, everyone is amazed at your transformation, your wife is thanking you for your support and there's possibly a glimmer of hope with her uncle ask yourself the religion question. You'll find the purpose of life is living, here and now. I never get too bogged down in the afterlife (although being a funeral celebrant that's kind of unusual). People get hung up on items they don't understand, then comes the conflict - bang - depression. Enjoy yourself, your family and life around you.

white knight · ‎24-05-2016

Hi again,

Trust life...you educate all of us.

Just wanted to mention safety zones for those not with strong minds.

Following my brother's untimely death in 1979 I realised that cemetery's are not for me. I attend services but never cemeteries. This protects me from myself.

It is important to discard anyone's expectation with these decisions.

Finding your own safety zone is a good quest.

Tony WK