Life, depression , depressing life !

[randomxx]

Hi to all who may pass bye.

l have another similar thread but it wound up full of break up details mainly and l just need to escape that a bit of late and talk about the new now.

But yeah, earlier a divorce after 22yrs, 5yrs later somebody new that sadly 5yrs later again now and it hasn't worked out.

but unfortunately isn't only part of things but has changed everything and l just feel all over the shop and very down, v down with life down, plans and with that not working out to.

The relationship was looking touch and go quiet awhile earlier and so l've kind of been living with two plans in life last couple of yrs for the future. One with us and one without.

So here l am , to the one without bc l need to leave this property later this yr, it's just something l've known l've needed to do a long time now and if l don't do it soon l might never will. l need to start somewhere else fresh.

If that relationship worked out we might have even stayed, as couple it's quite nice here. But as a single, without getting into it, there's just not much future and l've always thought once my d was grown up which she is now, l'd move on.

l don't want another place or to bother with more property anytime soon atm though , so one idea is to grab a caravan and go for a wander and just live in that for awhile. l so much need to just minimise right right down for a bit, for a rest , for a to hell with it all for awhile.

l'm later 50s now and l'd be able to survive without work for while living cheaply.

Thing is well the break up first up all, so disappointed it hasn't worked out especially at this stage and we'd both put soooo much into it and hoped it'd be our last and our future. Not to mention all the other emotions.

So there's that but then my new plans now, and just life.

l just don't know how or what to think or feel about anything future right now.

No friends here, not one in 8yrs here, one of the big reasons it's just best now to move on , but so no one to talk anything over with. Brother was 20mins over but he's moved down to his gf's place. My d comes and goes and that's beautiful of cause but l can't lay all this on her although she does know everything been goin on.She'll be moving to herself v soon to.

l'm still working a bit atm and also getting out and about plus getting plenty of kayaking in my go to for all but nonehteless, things just feel all messed up and confusing , daunting. So many moves through life, one reason l don't want more property right now. Came here to be close to my d till she grew up and if l liked it l'd stay later if not move on.

ln many ways l'm tired of all though and in ways just wish l could just stop life right here and do no more, just live.Funny though, talked a little about my plan to my brothers , just the once, l won't see either of those 2 again yrs now likely but they're full of envy both would love to be that free again so l suppose l should be grateful. But ldk, l feel confused and v v low plus another on top of all, loll is due and hitting right now. Mine comes every 4 or 5mths unfortunately and it's arrived once again. l don't take anything l just try to keep moving so to speak just gentler than usual.

Feel like l don't know anything any more.

rx

[Sophie_M]

Hey randomxx,  

Thank you for openness in sharing to the forums. We can hear that this is a difficult time of transition for you and it can be hard when we don't know what the future holds, particularly following the end of a relationship.

It sounds like you have some good ideas about possible options for the future and although this is exciting we can understand that uncertainity can make us all feel anxious. Please know we are always available to talk through your options, you are never alone with these feeling. We’d encourage you to give the Beyond Blue counsellors a call on 1300 22 4636 or speak to them on webchat here. 
 
We hope that you find our forums to be a safe and supportive space to talk through your thoughts and feelings. Our community is here for you, and we’re sure they’ll spot your post soon enough and have some kind words and understanding for you.  

Kind regards,  

Sophie M 

[randomxx]

Thanks so much Sophie that was very nice of you.

But yeah may do if needed but tbh l'm not to bothered about the thread so all is well there now.

Sometimes just writing something out in itself helps a lot and l've thought l just needed some of that more than anything for a start tbh.

But since and just lately now though l've actually been thinking atm maybe just getting on with life right now and not thinking too much is probably a pretty good way to go from here for awhile now.

Thanks again.

rx