Help me please

[Laz19]

I sit at home and play video games all day or go to the gym or walk the dogs.

I do nothing else, not by choice. All my friends never have time for me, never invite me to things.

Im terrible at social connections now, even with people I call my friends I never feel like I can connect.

Im depressed, everything I try and do be it friends, relationship or work blows up in my face. I don’t see why I bother anymore and maybe that’s why I don’t try anymore.

im a disappointment to my parents, I’ve achieved nothing in the time since I left school and things have only gotten worse since then.

Now nothing makes me happy, I have no one to talk too. I don’t know what to do anymore, it’s been so long and im just tired of it all.

[white knight]

Hi Laz, welcome

It is true, life is what you make it, but there sometimes requires ideas and prompting by others to kick start your lifestyle.

Some can find optimism from odd sources eg joining the army, navy or air force. I joined the RAAF at 17yo and it provided me with good adult wages, friends, a career and adventure. You are also serving your country.

But overall your thinking and motivation has to change.

Google this thread

Beyondblue Topic if all else fails, be radical TonyWK

Also

Beyondblue Topic switching mindsets

Repost anytime

TonyWK

[Laz19]

Thanks. I’ve thought about joining for those reasons. But I don’t believe I would get in or be up for it.

[Zala]

Hi Laz,

I know how you feel. I think we all feel this way at times. I tend to swing from feeling really up to really down.

Right now I’ve been battling my mind and thinking that things are shitty.

But something I’ve realised about life is that it’s like a mirror. It reflects back at you what you put into it.

I keep hearing ‘Fake it till you make it’ in my mind. It’s easy to collapse and think it’s too hard, but life rewards you if it sees how hard you’re trying. And it’s not easy at first. Because climbing out of a dark hole never is. But it’s just little steps. Do something each day that you’re proud of yourself for. And then the next day try and do a little bit more. Keep the momentum going until it becomes easier. Because once it starts rolling, the momentum will keep it going and it will get easier.

Something else I’ve realised about life is that it’s for our growth, so we will come across challenges and it’s how well we can deal with them, steers our course, and we slowly ascend, like walking up stairs that reach to the sky.

When you feel down, think about how much you’ve achieved and how much you’ve learnt. Stay positive. Read positive quotes, positive stories, affirmations. Sometimes saying affirmations like “I am courageous” or “I am loving” can help direct your thoughts. The power of the mind is incredible and we haven’t discovered everything our human brains are capable of yet.

Chin up. You are amazing! You are here on this planet for a reason. Discover your gifts and soar.

[Bells88]

Hi Laz19,

i really understood your post - all the things you couldn't put into words too.
plesse dont give up.
im at the end of my patience and strength too - i get it. im exhausted from the fight and i keep begging to just be let go so i can go without guilt and be at peace.

Please now that if you feel alone, I AM HERE. I feel the exact same and maybe we can help eachother through this.

Don't you dare give up. When you feel alone- please know you absolutely have this stranger possibly worlds away who is right behind you and cares about your survival and quality of life.


I wish everyday for life to just let me go. I understand it.
But for some divine reason - i just know that isn't your fate.

[therising]

Hi Laz19

It's definitely tough when you know who you don't want to be and at the same time you just don't know exactly where you're meant to go (from here). Personally, I found 4 of the toughest things about depression to be

1. Dealing with identity (how we identify our self in relation to the rest of the world)
2. Emotional challenges. By the way, 'Emotional Intelligence' is a fascinating aspect of psychology if you're interested in having a look. It deals with the idea that when we have an emotional reaction to something, this becomes a trigger to begin thinking/problem solving (as opposed to just sitting with the debilitating feeling)
3. Not being able to establish clear direction/not being able to identify clear goals
4. The chemistry aspect of depression. It's definitely worth looking at this particular aspect. If you Google 'The 4 chemicals for happiness', it's an insightful bit of research. Dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin and endorphins play a major role in regard to our perception

I believe it's extremely important to understand how depression works. Whilst the journey into depression/the darkness can sometimes be so gradual (so much so that we can fail to see it happening), the journey out is based on enlightenment/knowledge. I know this sounds a bit cliche. Whether newly acquired knowledge comes from a great mental health professional or elsewhere, this becomes the 1st step on a whole new path.

I will leave you with a thought which I hope makes some difference: You are not your depression; you're not the lethargy, the lack of motivation, the sadness, the hopelessness, the anger and so on. Whilst your brain keeps you trapped in the state known as depression, you (the real you) still exists and is looking for freedom - an incredibly frustrating situation. The key to freedom is found in coming to know your captor, coming to know your own mind/brain. Once you know how it ticks, you can convince it to do just about anything.

Take care

[Laz19]

I thank everyone for their kind words and advice. I know why I feel the way I do, I don’t know why I don’t change. I do many things to try change, I eat well, exercise everyday, work, try and leave the house. But it never helps and I always feel this same way.

its becoming harder to do all these things when all I feel is sadness. I don’t know why I bother anymore and I am starting to lose hope.

[therising]

HI Laz19

Easier said than done but try not to completely lose hope. Might be hard to believe but that thing which can free us from depression is out there, believe me. It may take you out of depression gradually or, like with myself, it may come as one of those major life-changing epiphanies which just blows your mind.

Myself, I lived with depression from the age of about 20 to 35 and had reached the point where I thought this was going to be a life sentence (a soul-destroying thought). At 35 I had my 2nd child and ended up in post natal depression group therapy. This was such an incredibly uncomfortable setting due to me being a shy and somewhat anti-social person. It was the last thing I would have considered leading me to freedom. Freedom can be found in the most unlikely of places and in ways we could not possibly predict so, again, don't lost all hope.

Everyone is unique Laz and therefor the things that can make all the difference to us are going to be just as unique, perhaps completely outside the square and maybe a tad uncomfortable. For some, meds offer relief through a positive mindset. For some it's therapy. For some it may involve more of a spiritual sort of path. For others it's group therapy, where you get to vent about how shi**y, uncomfortable, unfair, debilitating and draining depression can be and everyone around you nods with a supportive smile and relateable experiences. All of a sudden, for the first time, you feel normal and accepted. You realise you are sitting among incredible warriors who face a similar battle to you. You realise how strong you actually are, as opposed to how weak.

Keep searching for your thing. You will know it when you find it.

Take care