Hi Kess and welcome,
Ten years is a bloody long time to have been trying to cope without medical support so it is really positive to hear you are open to reaching out to a doctor.
Your GP's response was infuriatingly useless though... Unfortunately it happens to many of us. I think you have it right thinking this doctor is not the one for you.
Is seeking another opinion possible in your area? It can help to check the websites of your medical centre and see if any doctors list an interest in mental health care. Or receptionists can often give you an idea of the best doctor to visit.
Waiting for a doctor to help can be difficult when you're feeling exhausted so I'm glad you've come here to talk too. These forums aren't immediate but you can join in wherever feels helpful to you. Hopefully knowing you're not alone helps even slightly. Do you have support offline from friends or family?
While you were checking out the website did any of the phone lines appeal to you? I have used them in the past to get through times where it all feels too much. If you wanted to use these they are another option to try.
You wrote that you feel like you're heading towards being at risk and I wondered whether you had considered visiting the emergency room if it gets to a point you need urgent support? In a similar place mentally I had never considered this as an option but it is a good place to go if you feel unsafe. Sometimes even sitting in the ER and knowing you are physically safe can help.
I hope you can try again and the next GP is able to help. It is so hurtful when you reach out and feel ignored or disregarded. If you want to keep talking people here are listening.
Nat
