Fighting anxiety & depression at work

[CB81]

How do other people deal with maintaining a mask at work to deal with anxiety and depression? I struggle with the need to perform among extroverts. Last week I delivered two presentations on a new system that the audience couldn't care less about. They were rudely looking at their mobiles during the presentation and there were some technical issues as well which just left me feeling so anxious and afterwards so depressed. I also stumble over my words and I'm worried I won't be able to keep my job. On paper it's high status and high paying but my depression is making it one long struggle.

[Mia001]

Hi CB81,

Welcome to the forums! I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles at work. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you, especially when nobody seems to care.

You asked how other people maintain a mask at work when dealing with depression/anxiety? Personally, I find it hard, and very draining emotionally and physically. I don't know about your situation, but is there any chance you could speak to your manager/supervisor at work? You might be surprised at how understanding and supportive they are.

I don't know if you're seeing a psychologist, but if you're not, I would definitely recommend talking to your GP about a referral to one. Getting professional help might make all the difference for you. Also, do you have any support at the moment - as in a close friend/family member you can talk to?

Anyway, that's just my thoughts. Hope this helps 🙂

Mia

[CB81]

It is hard - there are good days and bad. I did see a counsellor last year but had a bad experience and she also disclosed information to my employer. This is a new job I started in January and I did reach a point I thought I was settling in but now I'm unsure. I used to be on anti depressants but had to stop as I have put on almost 20kgs in a year. I'm trying to manage it naturally with exercise. I've also started postgrad study which I hope will help improve my confidence. I don't want to disclose to my boss as I doubt he will be sympathetic and I don't want the attention - I had a bad day and had to lie and said I had a "migraine" and then afterwards he asked me how I was. I just don't want that scrutiny. I'm hoping I will have a better week but I am struggling at the moment.

[BballJ]

Hi CB81,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

As someone who has battled anxiety for around 10 years now I had to learn how to cope with it at work, initially I didn't even know it was anxiety, thought all the symptoms I was having were psychical health related but once I learnt they were not and I seek help, I have learnt what I was dealing with and how I can help and control it. I know you said above you have spoken to a counsellor a while back but had a bad experience, my advice to you would be possibly trying to go back to your GP for another referral to a completely different one, I was told by my GP when I asked for help was that finding a good psychologist is like finding a good friend, you don't always click with the first one you meet so keep finding one until you do, you will know when you do as well cause you'll be able to speak to them honestly and not hold back feelings, so I do encourage you to go back and see the GP. The fact the other one disclosed it to your work shouldn't have happened either.

I know it is hard to tell you boss but one thing you said makes me think they care, when they asked how you were doing. I remember when my boss found out I was seeing a psychologist, he was very understanding and asks me a fair bit how I'm doing with everything. They want you at your best. I have also been there when I'm doing a presentation in front of people and they don't care, had them even laughing before, I was getting lost on where I was up too, stumbling on words too... it sucks but that says more about them, than you.

Please also remember you can call the Beyond Blue helpline on 1300 22 4636 24/7 to discuss anything you are going through.

My best for you,

Jay

[Mia001]

Hi CB81,

Thanks for replying. I think Jay's reply pretty much covers everything, but I just wanted to say that I hope your studies go well and you have a better week!

See you later,

Mia

[CB81]

Thank you so much Jay and Mia. I had a good day at work and a lot of what I was worrying about was unwarranted. I can now just write it off as a bad day. It did unsettle me though. I am feeling more positive now. I'm so grateful for this forum and I have called beyond blue support line before and found it really helpful. I guess like so many things, I need to take it a day at a time.

[BballJ]

Hi CB81,

That is great to read, I do hope you can stick around the forums and do know if need to vent, you have your thread here.

My best,

Jay

[Mia001]

Hi CB81,

Good to hear that you're okay now!

I'm always here if you need someone to talk to.

Mia

[PhilK]

I have days like that too. I haven't told anyone in my current workplace about my bipolar yet. Reckon I need to tell some of my family first.
I'm finding keeping a mood diary helps me keep on top of what's going on and how it affects me. I give numeric scores to certain traits and generate a graph. Doing that kind of gives me a regular task to fulfil and when I look back at say, last Tuesday, and see a certain trend of mood I can go "ah yes, so-and-so was annoying that day and it ticked me off".