Depression and loneliness

[Ash-H]

So my psychiatrist diagnosed me with major depressive disorder (going through a major depressive episode post multiple stressors including a divorce)

So much of the ‘treatment’ recommendations you find for MDD and dealing with a divorce and friendship breakdowns suggest leaning on friends and family and forging strong social connections. What that doesn’t take into account is:
- it’s hard enough being social being neurodivergent
- your friends and family don’t want to be around you when you’re severely depressed
- it’s really hard to make new friends when you’re severely depressed

It just feels impossible 😕

[CheaB]

Hi Ash-H,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings, you definitely have our community's support. I am sorry that you are going through a challenging time and would like to commend you for seeking support. I hope that as you continue to see your psychologist, you benefit further from your sessions. 

I think it is completely understandable for you to be feeling this way and I would definitely recommend discussing potential coping strategies with your psychologist. Furthermore, I believe it is important to reward yourself on the small achievements that you make throughout the day, whether that is making your bed or cooking dinner for yourself. It is crucial to support yourself during this challenging period. In addition, journalling can be liberating because you are expressing your emotions via a medium that is comfortable as well as personal to you. It can be overwhelming to maintain social connections and I would suggest that you allow yourself to focus on your mental wellbeing, without feeling any kind of pressure. If you want to read a book, take a nap, watch a movie or just sit at home - please allow yourself to do so! Moreover, a bit of physical activity, like trying a 10 minute yoga routine at home, can allow you to focus your mind and enhance your sense of wellbeing, 

I hope this helps!

Take care,

Sarea.

[therising]

Hi Ash

My heart goes out to you as you face one of the most challenging times in your life, if not the most challenging. So hard to manage when a lot of people just can't fully relate, especially those who are less sensitive to a lot of our needs. And, yes, so much easier said than done, finding friends (especially the kind that are really needed).

I think most of us are led to consider friends in a conventional way, kind of like we did when we were young. I think it's not until we get a little older that we're led or forced to redefine that. 'A collector of really good people in my life' could be a different way of looking at it, when looking for friends. So, we could say 'I will come to the forums here to collect some good people. I might join a group (whether that be in group therapy or some other group) to see who I can collect from there. I'll see if there's anyone worth adding to my collection at the local Men's Shed or some women's social meeting point or somewhere where there's a mix of genders. I'll see whether there's a course I've always wanted to do, with like minded people who have the same interest, that may contain a potential friend' and on it goes. Whether they're friends we meet in person or ones we'll never come face to face with (like on the forums here) or whether they're friends for a brief period of time during some short course or whether they're friends who remain in our collection long term, they're all friends in one way or another. They're people who can manage to bring out the best in us during perhaps the worst times, people who may be simply there to listen to a vent when the pressure requires us to let off steam or people who can lead us to find new and fascinating aspects of our self. Personally, I'm a gal who finds sensitive friends to be the best. They're those who can sense what we need, those who have a good sense of what they can give us and those who make the effort in gaining a sense of what can make a difference to us, a difference we can be so desperate to feel at times.

I think we collect as we go and somewhere along the line we may eventually come across a whole group that just gets us, the so called 'tribe we vibe with'. No point collecting people with the wrong vibe. We need people to raise us, not bring us down. The key question may be 'How do I start my collection?'.

So glad you came here my friend. 🙂