Common self-talk

[Lookingforpeace]

Some common things I tell myself when feeling depressed:

• I can't do this anymore
• help
• things will never get better
• even if they do, I'll slip back again
• nobody knows how this feels
• this is the worst feeling 

Sorry, just brain dumping. Anyone relate?​

[TheSteve]

Thanks LFP. These are really common thoughts when we are in the dumps. Obviously, we can alter our mood by telling ourselves things both negative AND positive. The key to how quick and how far our mood goes in either direction however is whether or not we believe these thoughts. Often times, we have a much easier time believing our negative thoughts (bizarre, right?) than positive ones. Both may be ridiculously false, but the negatives tend to weigh even when not true. The positives, we really need to backup with logic and fact to have them impact us. Some of my favs are:

- "I feel in the dumps today, but if I simply stop thinking, this feeling will pass"

- "I know I can turn my mood around by having a good,long, hard laugh. This gives me control."

- "I'm not the first person to feel this way, nor will I be the last. Besides, feelings are temporary"

- "My body and mind are very, very resilient. If I cut off my negative thoughts now, I'll be fine"

- "I am exactly where I was meant to be in life. Given what I knew at the time, it could never have been different. This is acceptable, I'm OK with this. Now that I'm aware, I can improve things."

The other thing important to note, and on a deeper level, is paying attention to "who" is it that is telling "me" these things? Am I my mind? Am I the voice? Or, am I the observer of the voice? The silent one who objectively monitors all? The pure consciousness, before thought and feeling?  Yes, I can break the chain of thought simply by observing it and not identifying with it. 

If you have not read The Power of Now (Eckhart Tolle) he does a nice job of explaining this relationship. All my best to you, and thanks for the discussion.

Steve

[Neil_1]

And some common responses to those thoughts:

I can’t do this anymore, but I’m gonna TRY and damnit, I’m going to give it another shot.

Help – always a good thing to say or ask for.

Things will never get better – but they must, they simply must.  If we hang in there long enough and continue fighting the fight, eventually we’ll see some positive signs.

Even if they do, I’ll slip back again – but I’m never gonna let it win, which will mean I’ll rise again and climb back out.

Nobody knows how this feels – except for us on this site who experience it day in, day out;  we know how you feel, we know what it’s like and it’s bloody horrible.  So though you may feel alone and by yourself on this, you are not – there’s support, there’s help out there;  and that gets back to the word, “Help”.

This is the worst feeling – and the fact that it’s a continual thing, it can be construed as the worst feeling – but I had a 20 minute session with a “dentist from hell” many years back and she was trying to extract a tooth of mine which (we found out much later, had a massive and bent root system) and she was literally on my chest, trying to prize (spelling?) the thing out.  That was among the worst feeling I’ve ever experienced and I bled and bled for ages afterwards.  It still haunts me.

But great post LFP.

Neil