Can someone remind me what is the point?

[Calbue]

Hi,

I'm new to this forum so if I'm missing some etiquette... I apologise in advance.

I guess, the reason why I started this thread was to ask... what is the point? Is there a point? I know that to live means to be happy, to be at peace, to be ok and to be with family and friends. I get that. I truly do. But for now, why does it feel like things are pointless? For context, I'm still at uni doing my course, but it feels like there is no point to getting my degree when the future is so uncertain. When will things be ok? Will I always be down like this? I don't know if its the lockdown that's making me feel this way or if its just something that's been brewing inside me for years. Most likely, the latter... now that I think about it. Everything, for years, has felt like such an effort. Like I'm constantly exhausted by doing the bare minimum.

I know we have to truly process our thoughts to recover, but when I try it gets too much sometimes and makes it worse. My anxiety shoots through the roof, and it feels like my heart beats as fast as a hummingbird flaps its wings. Is there any other perspective that will help?

I hope someone is kind enough to reply...

[Self-Awareness22]

Hi Calbue,

Know your not alone and sometimes discovering more about yourself can an interesting journey within its self. Though this time is uncertain, know it will end. Know also you are so brave writing how you truly feel. Journalling is an exceptional way to get all your thoughts out onto paper. Once some of your core ideas are down you can find solutions to make you feel better. Nothing to major just one step at a time.

I'd advise to even seeking out via Beyond Blue's online chat forum or even participating in trailing a professional counselling service could be so helpful. It feels relieving to communicate some of the feelings you have felt for a long time.

Like you I am a University Student. I find I always seem to invest myself into a hobby, chat to a friend or if I am not feeling in the mood I sometimes journal or listening to relaxing music. This is outside of working hours so I have something to look forward to each week. Visualising something you have also wanted to do and looking forward to the plan helps. I find this motivates me. Even after lockdown, researching for a community hobby group or sport group is an idea!

From your account Calbue, I believe you should invest more time into you. Don't be to hard on yourself. Do not feel any sense of guilt if you want to seek support services. There are kind people in our Australian Communities. Many of our feelings can be shared and there are people who can teach you strategies to manage ups and downs.

Though we are in lockdown, times ahead will change and know you are capable of anything you put you mind to.

Keep well, wishing you all the best

G

[Whits]

Thank you for this.

It might be the most poignant summation of life I've ever heard

[Whits]

Thank you for this.
It might be the most poignant summation of life I've ever heard

[Calbue]

Hi Geoff,

Sorry for taking a while to respond. It has been a hard couple of days. I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting, researching about mental health and how to manage it and journalling. Im happy to say that it has been helping me put things into perspective.

I can do my university subjects part time, but with the way lockdown is going, I won’t be able to financially support myself if I do part time and delay finding a stable, full time job. Also, I’m not sure my brain will like it very much if I do try and drag out completing my degree. University is a chapter of my life that I want to finish now, or soon. I’ve been at university for 6+ years now trying to finish, and its been 6+ years because I didn’t manage or care enough about my mental health to focus on it. I took a few breaks already.

I’ve been reflecting on what you’ve said. About how during lockdown all the things we used to love to do have gone amiss, how we’ve lost interest because we don’t have the energy or desire. Why do you think that is? Do you think this could be why the career goals I had before the pandemic is now… not what I want? I’ve been trying to figure this out for a while now. It may well be the source of my anxiety actually. Is this the pandemic affecting me or has this been brewing for years and its now just come to surface because of the pandemic? It’s hard to say.

I know this pandemic has truly allowed us to finally slow down and have time for ourselves. But, I’m not sure why I’m having a hard time. I don’t know why I’m struggling to process this. Maybe I’ve been conditioned to think that if I’m not busy or productive then the things I do is useless and have no value. But I know that this isn’t true. Hobbies keep us alive and is a good way to escape the harsh realities of the world. So why do I feel this way? It’s frustrating.

I have been seeking counselling services and they have been helping. But, I think I’m feeling the pressure. I’m feeling the pressure to finish my university studies and get a job to finally… contribute? Is that a good word to use in this case? I’m feeling the pressure to end this chapter of my life and become an ‘adult’.

[Calbue]

Hi Self-Awareness22,

Thank you for your message. It is always comforting and nice to know that there are other university students here. I do love learning. I do. But I think learning, while not knowing what its for, if it will be useful, or help me land a job that I would really want to get.. is a little de-motivating. Is that word? We can pretend it is if it isn’t! I also have been at university for an embarrassing amount of time so I’ve been trying to sprint the last few kms of this marathon, when I know I should go slow and steady. However, if I go slow and steady then it will take me 7 years to finish a double degree and not the usual 5.5 - 6 years of full time studying. THAT is a high number. It is a little bit embarrassing.

I’ve been practising mindfulness and gratitude. It has been helping a lot. I’ve come to realise how truly blessed I am to have my family, my friends and even the privilege of having to worry about university and the choice that I get to make when deciding whether I want to drop out or defer. Some aren’t that lucky. I’m more consciously aware of that now.

I do have a hobby. I like to read, quite a lot. To the point where I think it might be unhealthy. But it’s a harmless hobby. 🙂 does this count as investing in me?

Can I ask, do you know what you want to do with your degree? You don’t need to share if you don’t want to. I’m just curious to see if what I’m feeling is normal.

[Calbue]

Hi everyone,

It’s me again. I was wondering what does everyone do when trying to not let the bad days win?

Hope to hear from someone!