Brain Shivers, flu like symptoms, Overwhelming waves of fear, Isolated,

[A_League_of_One]

Hi all,

I just wanted to know if anyone else has suffered with the above symptoms with their depression? 4 weeks ago I had a severe attack which was accompanied by neck and shoulder pain (which had built up over weeks). It was like I had the flu and my brain was shivering like your body does when you have flu symptoms. It wasn't like the 'zaps' you usually get when you've missed an anti depressant but an actual shivering. I ended up in Emergency as the overwhelming and uncontrollable fear combined with the neck pain out weighed me.

I've been on anti depressants for nearly 20 years & have been stable for around 90% of the time. Now all of a sudden I'm having a set back and have had to increase my dosage to 40mg, it's been 5 weeks and doesn't seem to be helping at all. Do you think it might be time to change medications? Do they sometimes just stop working?

To add to my set backs my world has changed greatly over the last 5 years. I had my Mum & a friend pass away, a sister I was close to I no longer see (long story). I've turned 50 (struggling with peri menopause & not liking the aging thing much!!) I moved to a remote town where I don't know anyone (My extreme anxiety and lack of confidence, prevents me from meeting new ppl). I lost my job so have ALL day to think, plus my hubby works away every other week so I'm here alone with the dogs (I have not children either). The rest of my family are scattered to the winds & we aren't close at all. We have never really talked about depression openly, it's like they just don't know how to deal with it so ignore it. I have a few friends but no one super close I can talk to. I don't want to burden them anyway. I'm seeing a psychologist but as it's free the appointments are few and far between.

I know most people suggest getting a job, meeting people but how? How do I get out of this cobweb of fear when getting out of bed is a chore? Sometimes it's crippling and I'm asking myself what's the point?

I know this is the place to find some help and like minded people. Any advice other than the normal? Are there other ways to meet like minded people offline? (not that there's anything wrong with online 🙂 I thought it'd be easier to talk to people who understand the battle.

[PamelaR]

Welcome to our forums A League of One

Life sounds incredibly difficult for you at the moment. It doesn't surprise me that you feel the way you do with everything you've had going on in your life over the past 5 years.

The description you gave - brain shivers, flu symptoms, overwhelming waves of fear - can all have quite a lot of causes. I'm not a health professional so it would not be wise for me to provide advice on what is happening. I can give you my experiences.

I have PTSD, anxiety and depression. I have experienced all the symptoms you have described - the doctors were never really able to diagnose what the cause was. I also have a low functioning thyroid that affects my anxiety levels so sometimes it's really difficult to tell what the cause is.

I found I used to get these symptoms when I was stressed, exercised too much, hadn't had enough sleep. It's all a very fine balance. Rest, relaxation, grounding and a blanket over my head (blocking out the world) often helps me recover.

Making new friends, talking with people about mental health conditions, getting motivated are so hard. Not easy at all. To build relationships takes time and effort and when you're in the depths of anxiety or depression it's so difficult to do.

My tricks for getting motivated are:

When I'm in bed at night thinking about how terribly I'm feeling, I start to make a plan for the next day. What will I do:

get up - make the bed, have a shower, water the veggie patch, pick some herbs for breakfast, make breakfast (eggs or tin of fish) with a freshly squeezed juice.

check - Beyond Blue, FB, email. Respond to posts.

shop - work out what's needed.

These simple things help me get out of bed each morning. I'm then able to go for a walk, do some voluntary work here or with another community organisation I volunteer with, work out what needs doing in the garden.

Then when I'm feeling okay with myself and have a routine going I can do other things like - photography that I love to do, meet up with friends for coffee, editing photographs.

The volunteer work I do helps me meet new people and get involved in doing things that interest me, as well as my photography activities.

Each of these things though takes time to build. I've found it's getting over the little hurdles, like getting out of bed. Having my next day planned has helped me tremendously.

Feel free to browse our forums and to join discussions. You're not alone in how you feel.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[A_League_of_One]

Thank you so much Pamela,

I'm so sorry to hear you have been through so much as well.

There are some really helpful tips there, I love the focus on the planning of the next day. The things are so simple, yet thinking of each little step gets you focused and away from the endless negative mind chatter. I will definitely give it a whirl. Also FB, I didn't think about so I'll pop by there for sure!

It was funny I woke this morning alone (hubby is away) on Easter which is always difficult and of course started the negative banter and the stomach started churning but then I decided to get up have a shower and of course my mind was chatting away and all of a sudden I said to myself out loud...."Really"?.. "again"? "OK I've had enough of this S***, I accept what you're saying but enough is enough"! I was quite stern with myself and it seemed to settle my stomach straight away. It could be a new strategy for me as well as others, just to get the mind to stop even for a short while.

I then messaged my family to say happy Easter (They live 3 hours away from me) & they were meeting up for Easter with their families so once again I got down about being alone...but I have to live with my life choices and make the best of what I have.

I'm sure things will change for the better they have before, I just need to keep pushing on through the quicksand for now.

Thanks for taking the time to message me Pamela, I really appreciate it and I will take your advice x