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ANY STAY AT HOME MUMS OUT THERE??

SAHM_
Community Member

I'm feeling very lost and deeply sad at the moment. Have been since my daughter was born last year. Are there any other stay at home mums that just feel stuck in their life? Sad! Depressed! Angry! Exhausted!

I want to go back to work part time to get some of my identity back and feel like a normal person again with purpose but we have no daycare in our area & my partner works such long hours he's never around to help or give me even a few hours break.

I just dont know what the do anymore or who to reach out to. Any other mums experienced this? I feel like a terrible mother for needing something outside of being a mum

4 Replies 4

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello SAHM, pardon me for replying but my ex was a 'stay at home' mum after she suffered from PND after our second child was born, even though we were running a family pub.

Can I ask whether or not you have your mother or MIL able to help you or perhaps someone else, as my MIL was able to help with our two children in the pub.

I know to regain your identity is very important and your doctor may have some ideas that suit you.

If you can contact BB and talk with the counsellors on 1300 22 4636 they can direct you where you can get help with your daughter while you apply for jobs.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

Karen0901
Community Member

I had post partum anxiety and depression after my child was born. Honestly, I thought I had ruined my life. Now my child is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I was a SAHM for the first year. One thing I have come to realize, is it is more common than you would think. Being a Mum is so hard at first. It takes a huge toll on your mind and body. You are definately not a terrible Mother. We all need to also have a life of our own.

What really helped me was accessing mental health support for antenatal issues. I accessed this through my GP. Try talking to your GP.

Many people have mentioned to me that going back to work part time helped them. If you don't have a daycare available near you, could you get a nanny or some other babysitting help via hiring them? If it helps your mental health, it is worth the money.

There are also lots of Mum groups etc., you could join. I'm sure there would be one in your area. Try your local library. This can help with socialising etc.

Finally, reach out to friends or family, if possible. They often can provide help, even if it is just through a listening ear.

kned
Community Member

You are no way a terrible mum for feeling this way!

I was a SAHM for a few years and felt the exact same as you. I eventually sought help from my GP and was diagnosed with PND/PNA! I'm not saying this is the case for you, but perhaps it may be worth talking to your Dr and looking at some options.

As soon as I started taking medication, my whole outlook changed. I was able to enjoy time at home and my kids.

I also looked into some things that would help me 'find myself' again - which meant making time each week to have some time out to myself for my own hobbies. I did some short courses, job searched, focused on some health/wellbeing.

I know daycare is hard to source but have you look into alternative options like an in-home care arrangement, or family daycare?

If youre into exercise, perhaps look into a gym with a creche so you can get some time out/exercise regularly. Ask for help from family and friends and if returning to work will help you mentally then talk to your partner and press how important it is to you. Somehow you will find a way out.

Petal22
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi SAHM,

Wellcome to our forums.

I'm sorry you are feeling this way I understand it's hard.

After both of my pregnancies I was diagnosed with Postnatal anxiety and parental OCD it was a very challenging time.

Your not alone in the way you are feeling being a Mum can be hard work especially when our children are little.

Have you thought about having a chat to your gp about the way you are currently feeling?

I joined a playgroup while my babies were little, it did help because I was also interacting with adults at this playgroup, maybe it's something you could look into?

Do you have any family who could help you?

I understand that you want to do some work outside of being a Mum and that's ok, maybe if you have other family close to you they could look after baby while you are at work?

Hang in there things will get better.