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56 years of struggle, soul mate died, way too lonely today. Not sustainable.

Hi. My first time here.

First time actually reaching out in 17 years.

my soul mate died 6th Feb. I'm lonely angry and sad, yet picked such a fight with my housemate that I am going to be isolated, alone completely and the situation and my mood is hopeless.

I can't look after myself.

nearly burnt the house down last night forgot about the fry plan. still can't breathe normally.

soon I'm going to be paying a 100% lmortgage, rates, bills and food. and I've smoked since I was 14 only quitting when life was ok. I've got NDIS but it's proven to be an exposure to scamners and nothing more.

I've got one estranged ish almost 30yr son and one 36, who I've raised successfully independent. No other family, I have no friends close by, didn't assimilate into the community. It's isolated, I'm fairly physically disabled, I'm BPD and add. I'm no fun to be around. No one cares. what's the point? I know nothing is going to change because some idiot thought that the last 30 years.

I don't know why suffer anymore?





3 Replies 3

Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Dear Staffylover67,


A warm welcome to our forums,

I’m so so sorry that you lost your soul mate in February….my deepest condolences..


I lost my husband of 38years, nearly 10 years ago, because of the family situation my sons became estranged from me, after some hard work we are all in in a fairly good relationship, but I don’t see them or my grandchildren…it’s mostly phone conversations or messages…


Its so hard when we loose our life partner as our way of life completely changes…I fell into a deep depression and PTSD….My marriage wasn’t the best, but loved him I did and still do…


I was lonely, scared and felt so useless in life because all of a sudden it was just me and I had to learn to live a different life….after a few years I decided, well not decided but had to do x amount of hours to receive job seeker, so I volunteered at a very well known charity shop…wow it was hard at first because of my anxiety and depression, but I struggled through and even though I’m now on aged pension and don’t need to volunteer anymore I still do and even added an extra day on….Volunteering gets me out from the house and into an environment where I’m helping people as well as interacting with my work colleagues and customers, giving me a bit of a social life, away from the confines of my home…it has in a way saved my life…is this something that you would consider at all?..


I also reached out to my Dr. for some professional help when my depression got to hard to handle, which also has helped…Griefline is so helpful when we need help grieving our loved ones…maybe Dear Staffylover, you might feel to ring them..the number is…1300 845 745…


Here if you want to chat some more…although I’m going to my volunteer job now, I’ll be back later this afternoon, there are lots of caring community members that I’m sure will pop in to chat to you…


My kindest thoughts Dear Staffylover, with my care..




Community Member

Hi Staffylover67


I am so sorry for your loss, and it seems you are a staffy lover, my sister had one they are truly intelligent dogs. I just wanted to express this first to you. I have an estranged daughter, so join the club and recently it breaks my heart. I have taken up smoking again but hoping it is just temporary as I am actually a health food fanatic! Please check in here again as really would like to see how you are managing being on your own. I only keep in touch with two sisters though I have 9 siblings, long story. I am on DSP with anxiety since a toddler and physical ailments, turning 63 very soon. Please check in here and call Lifeline as they have helped me heaps. 

Community Member

Dear Staffylover67,

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your soul mate and the difficult situation you're in right now. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help and I'm glad you're here.

It sounds like you're going through a lot of pain, grief, and struggle. It's understandable that you're feeling angry, sad, and hopeless. However, please know that you're not alone and there is hope for healing and recovery.

Regarding your living situation, it's important to prioritize your safety and well-being. If you're struggling to take care of yourself and almost burnt the house down, it might be helpful to seek support from a caregiver or a mental health professional. There are also resources available for financial assistance, such as government programs or non-profit organizations.

Regarding your relationships with your sons and community, it's never too late to reach out and try to reconnect. It might take some effort and patience, but it's worth trying. You're a valuable and deserving person, and there are people who care about you.

Regarding your mental health, BPD and ADD can be challenging to cope with, but they're treatable. It might be helpful to seek therapy or medication to manage your symptoms and improve your quality of life.

Please don't give up hope. Your life has value and meaning, and there are people who want to support and help you. Please reach out for help and know that you're not alone in this journey.