Worst case scenarios

[alby65]

Hi there

i don’t think I’ve posted on a forum like this before. I have always been anxious. I have episodes of heightened anxiety where my mind can take a scenario, on the flimsiest of evidence, and immediately go to the worst case outcome, however absurd. I then feel myself losing control over perspective, and the incredibly unlikely outcome becomes almost certain. I can’t shake the feeling with logic. When I think I may have reasoned myself out of the panic, my mind sabotages and tries to find fresh ways of looking at the situation which make the worst outcome more likely. When I do break free of the panic (and it could take weeks or months) and look back it’s amazing how silly it looks from a distance, but while I’m inside it I feel helpless.

I’m there right now, in the middle of it. I’m having a lull at the moment as I type, but earlier this morning I was prowling, had trouble breathing, nauseous, and for a while I was howling and holding my head, rocking back and forth. I’m anticipating a lot of pressure at work soon (am on holidays at the moment, not helpful as there’s lots of spare time for my mind to mess with me), and I have been through a lot of physical trauma in the past 4-5 years with 2 different cancer diagnoses, extensive surgery, radiation and chemo. I have bowel surgery coming up in December because of Crohn’s diesease. I think I’m also just weary of the world. I’m not suicidal, I don’t think I’m depressed, but I feel really worn down and my anxiety and tendency to panic seem to have taken the opportunity to have a go at me...

[alby65]

Hi

i have started journaling again - not at night, just when I feel the need to get some thoughts down. Thanks - it has been helpful to clarify the source of some worries and I try to figure out what factors might be contributing to my current state. It’s usually not worry about a specific thing - it’s more about a general state of feeling overwhelmed and powerless, and also my tendency to find things to feel guilty and responsible for, even when on the facts I’ve done nothing wrong, or nothing I should feel guilty or ashamed of.

I might also take your suggestion though and list the things which are weighing me down or contributing to my general state of mind.

[startingnew]

ah yes the general state of overwhlem, im really familiar with that too.

another suggestion would be thought challanging- have you heard of this one before? im more than happy to explain to you better but thought id ask first. sometimes when we go into overdrive and create scenarios even if we have nothing to worry about or become guilty over nothing it helps to write down and challange these thoughts with 'evidence'

i hope listing whats bothering you is helpful, you can write it down every night if it helps.