Why do i drink when i know it's bad for me?

[Guest_85ED2072]

Hello all,
Me - 37, great wife, great kids, good job. Happy days.
No childhood trauma, happy upbringing, close family.
Struggled with anxiety since adolescence for whatever reason, just got on with it. Have struggled with weight since my teenage years, I've always been overweight. Found exercise and healthy living worked to alleviate most symptoms. However I've also drank quite a bit since adolescence, nothing hugely unusual in that. Gone are the days of drinking 20 beers and shots and getting up at dawn to play rugby with no side effects.
Now a few bottles of wine equals a 24hour hangover. Why do I do it to myself?
Struggled with anxiety and mild depression on and off, have had a few panic attacks over the years which is pretty horrific. Found sessions with a therapist very beneficial and take medication which has been excellent.
Don't drink during the day/at work and regularly have a few days off but I tend to hit it really hard at the weekends and I cant seem to get out of this rut. Drinking at least 2 bottles of wine, Thu, Fri, Sat nights and some times more. I feel dreadful the next day and know this is a slippery slope. I need to make some changes.
I drink because it numbs my feelings and stops my brain going a million miles an hour. It also makes the anxiety go away, at least initially. The bad thing is the anxiety is twice as bad with a hangover.
Overweight = Anxiety = Depression = Drinking = Weight gain = Overweight = I'm seeing a pattern here..!
Any advice from anyone who is in, or been in a similar situation to help me cut down my drinking/change my routine here?
Answering myself (Sorry) I know I could simply give up drinking but it that the only option?
Thank you for listening.
Rob

[Eleda]

Hi Rob, 

First of all, you should be very proud of yourself being able to express your feelings and thoughts on a blog as this. It takes a lot of courage and to me that shows you are ready for change, in particular a change in behaviour. 

The self medicating use of alcohol may seem like a good idea at the time, but in many cases it can be very detrimental to ones self. You mentioned you have children and a wife, so I would imagine this would be effecting your relationship with them to some point. How many children do you have? What are their ages? As a parent a child's upbringing is stressful in itself, so this extra responsibility could also be adding to the anxiety and stress. 

I myself also struggle from anxiety and have trouble sleeping many nights. I know that this feeling is the worst, and I haven't yet found my own anxiety remedy. Apart from drinking, have you found that any thing is able to help reduce this stress and anxiety?

[Dwwmills]

Hi Rob.

You are a lucky man, you do have some great things in your
life. You just need to get rid of your anxiety so that you can enjoy them.

The good thing is that your anxiety can be brought under
control. Getting counselling and taking medication are two big steps that you
have already taken. I have suffered from anxiety on and off the last 40 years.
2 ½ years ago I decided enough was enough and pulled out all stops to tackle anxiety.
I finally took medication which I had resisted and I decided to put everything
I’d learned from seeing a psychologist into action. The main thing that works
for me was cognitive-based therapy. My psychologist had been using it on me for
years but I would only continue using it until I felt better. I had read books
on the subject and I found an app which helped me use CBT daily.

By learning enough about cognitive-based therapy to be able
to use it myself, was like seeing the therapists daily. It made a huge
difference but it did take a big commitment. Especially in the early stages
where I was learning more about CBT. By concentrating on the learning and the
using of CBT it allowed me less time to be anxious. I am now off medication and
I have my anxiety well and truly under control. That’s not to say that I don’t
occasionally get anxious but I now know what to do about it.

I generally find when I’m anxious it’s because I stop
keeping track of my thought processes. I’d then go back to basics look at what
I’m thinking and take action. This could be doing something that I’ve been
avoiding. Challenging a negative thought processes or rereading some of my CBT
articles. Just taking charge of the situation makes a big difference.

As far as the alcohol goes, if you can’t stop once you start
you may just have to not start. At least for a while to give yourself a chance
to get your head together.

Using CBT I’ve been able to stop the racing thoughts. I don’t
miss them at all.

[Zoostar84]

Hi Rob

I'm 31, male, non-drinker. Ive had anxiety and depression since 2004.

I used to bing drink quite a bit in my late teens, early 20s. I haven't been intoxicated in over 4 years and now drink non alcoholic beer (I find schlossgold is the best). I had a minor panic attack shortly after the last time I was intoxicated. I never want to have another panic attack ever, so it was at at that point I made a lifestyle change and to never get drunk again. A hangover plus a panic attack made my decision pretty easy. Alcohol can alleviate the symptoms of anxiety but is not a good idea to self medicate with alcohol and is detrimental in the long term. I was listening to the radio recently and they were talking about drugs/alcohol and it was suggested that binge drinking is more damaging to the brain than being an alcoholic as you go from such a low to a high in a short amount of time. I was quite emotional when I was talking about this with my psychologist. She told me that my dopamine receptors have been damaged. She was encouraging though and told me that people who attend AA meetings are told to"fake it till you make it". This phrase has been a kind of motivation for me. I have to fake being happy and stress free and with time my dopamine receptors will recover...well that's what I'm hoping for anyways. I have trouble getting excited about anything anymore. The last time I felt excited and adrenaline running through me was last xmas. I told my psychologist how desperate I want to live without little anxiety/depression. If it could be bought I would give up every dollar in my savings accouint...I want it more than anything else in the world.

[Moonstruck]

Zoostar 84...."I want it more than anything else in the world"...(to be free from anxiety etc...) what a passionate statement and a damn good start to "getting it"...Act as if you already have that freedom...believe it is on the way to you...imagine how lovely it's going to feel...pretend you can feel it already......

I drank to alleviate anxiety and panic...and guess what..it worked! That's why I did it....until it damaged my liver so severely. the worry of my family that I'd die, proved enough, finally, for me to not drink alcohol again. My 3 years of no drinking is coming up in February.  I'm not special, I'm not brave, I'm not strong or more noble than anyone else, than any drunk in a pub or in a gutter....(I would LOVE a drink, or 12 right now!!)...I was lucky enough to be given the choice.....drinking...or death. (and it's not a pretty way to go I believe)......sorry to bore you guys with my horror story......but Zoostar mentioning grog reminded me.....I loved the conviction behind those words Zoostar "I want it more than anything else in the world".....it's on its way darling...keep believing.......

[Zoostar84]

Hi Moonstruck 

Thankyou for your kind words. It's very hard at times, I have great support from family, girlfriend and professionals. I hope one day my dream comes true. I am making good choices in my life
that helps me cope, but I want more than that...I want what I consider a'normal life'.
Well done on your period of being sober. I would love to have a beer, or a dozen myself. But actually I am scared
what will happen or what I will do whilst under the influence of alcohol as I am on a few prescribed medications. I believe I have three choices

1. Drink alcohol. I would eventually crave more everytime I go out. I would feel worse after every hangover and possibly end up in rehab..and be given more prescribed medications.

2. Stop taking my medications. This will see me in a dark place that I never want to go back to.

3. Keep taking my medications. Make good lifestyle choices, stay fit and healthy and get support from professionals. 

I have chosen choice #3

[geoff]

dear Rob and some great replies by all of the above.

When I was going through abstinence when I was still depressed, my doctor/psych told me that I was doing the right thing, but they asked me 'can you walk passed a bottle shop without needing to go in', and if I said no, then they said that I hadn't given up.

The choice to stop is an enormous decision, because it's something which we have always relied on to help us through, but we have to replace it by doing something else that occupies our spare time, but our mind has to make this choice whether to drink or not.

Even if the doctor gives you medication which will stop the cravings for alcohol/drugs it will only work if you are determined not to drink, otherwise it's a waist of time.

At one stage when I lost my license I had to go to AA, where some people will benefit from going, but there are those,like me, that got sick and tired of the same people standing up and making the same statements every week, but by saying that I don't want to stop people from going.

Now I only drink socially, and not from dawn till dusk, which was one factor that caused my divorce, and I certainly don't blame her for doing this. Geoff.

[Moonstruck]

 It's interesting that people have different "triggers" for drinking when they're trying to give up isn't it? You mentioned the bottle shop....thank God being close to bottle shops, clubs, pubs and with friends who drink weren't my triggers.....I would be in dire straights if they were as they are within walking distance!

 Thank God I can stand at a bar and easily order a soft drink with all those tantalising bottles on display in front of me....but am aware it's almost impossible for others!  My trigger was emotional stress...connected to relationships, work, bad news of any kind, any kind of challenge, argument with someone....if I felt upset I needed to know there was a magic friend in the fridge or cupboard to comfort me!.......it's not easy...it's so hard to give up that friend, or to understand that one day that friend could turn around and kill you.......anyone trying to give up grog has my admiration!