Trying to conceive and Anxiety

[Katniss91]

Does anyone else have anxiety and is trying to conceive or have conceived/had a baby?

i am only 2 months into trying for a baby and i would like to know what helped you not feel anxious about everything pregnancy.

-the pain

-body changing (i have body image issues, so putting on weight and looking fat is worrying me)

-if my mental health will change (get worse)

-the time its taking to get pregnant (i am very impatient)

my partner and i aren't "religiously" tracking my cycle or only having sex when i am ovulating, we are just not using protection. so the whole stress of "having sex when you ovulate" makes me feel overwhelmed and forced. i dont want this feeling as it may hinder us getting pregnant.

Tips and advice, thanks in advance.

[jess334]

Hi Katnis91,

Yes absolutely! My son is 2yo now, but I was so stressed when we were trying to conceive. I made us take those do it yourself fertility tests (useless by the way, do not waste your money), I tracked every second of my cycle (including temperature) and I stressed about how long it would take.

Then I fell pregnant within 4 months. So I felt a bit silly afterwards for stressing so much.

If trying to time sex to your ovulation cycle is stressful I wouldn't worry about it. Your body is amazing and can actually fall pregnant no matter what time of the cycle you have sex. Also your ovulation/conception window is bigger than you might think so your probably already hitting it!

I felt anxious throughout my pregnancy as well. I was more worried about the birth than anything else. I planned exactly what would happen and did birthing classes etc, then in the end none of it mattered.

It is important to keep a close eye on your mental health after baby comes. If you have a history of depression or anxiety you can be at a higher risk of postnatal issues (like I was), but if you keep in regular contact with your support people / GP, they will help you identify it and take action as early as possible.

I hope you are able to enjoy your pregnancy a little once you get there. Yes it can be hard and painful and just exhausting, but it is also amazing and exhilarating and very special.

Jess

[Lakeside19]

Hi!

I have fertility issues so trying to conceive was a roller coaster with my anxiety. Then when I finally fell pregnant I stressed about literally everything. I did have some complications throughout so some was warranted but there were many things I worried about that I didn’t need to.

If it takes a little while to conceive (2 months really isn’t long as hard as it is to wait) you will probably hear a million times to try to relax because stress will make it harder. Which if you’re anything like me will lead to having stress about stressing about conceiving. My advice would be not to try not to stress over it because it may be impossible. I found it easier to try and accept the fact that I was going to stress & that it was my anxiety & sometimes I would be an emotional mess. For me, giving myself permission to feel like that rather than trying to fight it helped. Maybe for a few months just try and enjoy being with each other and have regular sex without the stress of tracking

- body image - If you eat a healthy diet and try to keep active, even just regular walks, you will find that most of what you put on will be baby weight and easier to lose after birth. But your body will change even if you get back to your current weight there will be bits that you notice are different. As hard as it can be try to think of the life that those parts created and carried. I’ve heard sticking a photo of bub next to mirrors for a while can help to associate that image with happiness

- mental health - the hormone changes during pregnancy and after birth are crazy. At times you will be an emotional wreck. Lean on your partner or any other support as much as possible. Ask your drs as many questions as you need, they’ve been asked it all before (probably by me). Once you have bub accept help from as many people as you can, it’s hard and you’re mental health will thank you & be kind to yourself. Don’t pressure yourself to feel certain ways or do things a certain way, sometimes we’re our own worst critic.

I’m not sure if any of that helps but I’m more than happy to chat at any time during this process if you need