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Sudden disorder after recreational drug use
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Hi guys!
little introduction, I’m Lucy. I’m 21 years old and have recently been told I have a weed induced anxiety/panic disorder. One night I was out with a friend and we decided to smoke a joint together. I started to have what I believe now to be a panic attack but at the time I truly thought I was dying. It felt like my vision blacked out and my feet were so heavy and felt swollen. I couldn’t walk straight and my heart was pounding. I was in hospital at the time of this diagnosis and they told me it should only last around a month before I’m back to normal but it has been 4 months now. I constantly have panic attacks thinking I’m losing my vision and dying, that I’m having brain aneurysms or strokes or that my brain is bleeding even though I had a CT scan in hospital which cleared all those possibilities. I’m struggling a lot with this and am finding it hard to get on with every day things. It’s been especially hard to sleep as I constantly tell myself that if I fall asleep I won’t wake up again. I’ve always had anxiety but I never experienced panic attacks like this before the weed incident.
has anyone else experienced this here? How did you get through it and what steps did you take. My brain constantly tells me I’d rather die than live like this so I know it’s time to get more help
thank you in advance
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Unfortunately while extremely rare, this is actually possible.
The brain is a complex mechanism. Things that happen to us can link up new synaptic pathways all of the time. This can happen do to a serious event, or a traumatic experience or through the intake of mood or mind altering substances. And sometimes once these pathways are open... they can be difficult to close again.
Which when it is a positive experience... is a good thing. But when it is a negative experience... is obviously a bad thing.
From what you are describing, it sounds like your brain is constantly looping over this one experience. Bringing those sensations and feelings back to you over and over again. I once knew a guy that something very similar to what you are describing happened to years ago, and while he is alright now it did take him a long time to get past it... and he had to give up everything for life, even alcohol. Although as opposed to you he was a long time recreational drug user with no problems... until one day something "switched" in his brain and wouldn't flip back.
Like I said, it is exceptionally rare... but it can happen.
So the good news is... that same switch can be "switched off" pretty much the same way as it got switched on in the first place. Either by a significant singular event (preferably positive), repetitive re-training of your brain over a long period of time... (or I'm hesitant to mention it, but it doesn't make it any less true... via the same way it happened the first time but with a positive experience rather than a negative one. Although technically this is also possible via a placebo, but to explain that becomes overly complex).
OR it can just suddenly stop one day for absolutely no obvious reason at all. Which is what happened to that guy I mentioned earlier. He struggled for about a year and when it stopped I asked him what happened and he told me that he had no idea, he just woke up one day and it was just gone.
He was too afraid to do anything once it stopped though. Wont even have a glass of wine or ever take prescription medications out of fear it "might come back". Which is understandable, and he is a pretty happy guy (much more so than me) so there is absolutely no reason to argue with him.
Anyway, don't feel like you are just stuck with it forever. That is very unlikely. You just need to find your switch and find a way to turn it off again.
Easier said than done of course. But not impossible.
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Hi!
thank you for your reply, as bad as the situation is it does make me feel better to know that it has happened to other people too. I’ve done large amounts of research and could hardly ever find people who went through the same thing.
As with your friend I’ve actually had to do the same thing. I haven’t been able to drink alcohol or take any medications/pills due to the fact that I’m just too scared that these things will negatively effect my brain. Even the smallest taste of alcohol sends my brain crazy and instantly into panic attacks.
It’s good to know I won’t be stuck with this forever, it was starting to feel pretty hopeless
Thank you so much
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Thank you so much for posting this, I had the same thing happen to me. New Years I had a recreational substance with friends which I have done a handful of times before, except this time it was laced/mixed. This caused my heart to beat fast, which caused a panic attack and ended up with me in hospital. I didn’t overdose but as it was a different reaction I was expecting or use to, it caused intense fear. I was fine and told I was healthy and just had to let the drugs come out of my system. Since then I have been struggling with anxiety 24/7 and severe panic attacks. I use to smoke and drink, i stopped cold turkey after 7 years of smoking. I cannot think about alcohol or it’s a panic attack. It has gotten a bit better over the past 4 months, at first I couldnt go near a hospital but I also couldn’t be too far from one, I couldn’t look or think about alcohol or be around smoke because it sent me into an attack. It’s a roller coaster and sometimes it’s bearable and others I feel I’m just holding on, it’s always there and it consumes every part of my day. But like I said it’s slowly getting better I think so anyway. I am always convinced I’m having a heart attack though or something is wrong with my heart and always short of breath, always feel my own heart beating every beat, have this thought that at any minute I could have a heart attack so any bit of pain or even my stomach grumbles I am convinced I’m having a heart attack.
I cannot even take Paracetamol now and my anxiety medication caused palpitations and the only thing that worked was a benzodiazepine but no one wants to prescribe that to someone who has used recreational drugs before. I am doing CBT as well which has helped a little bit. I feel no one understands, no one cares and I just have to live like this until one day it kills me.
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I had something similar happen to me, although I was a bit younger (16). I smoked with a friend and I had a full blown panic attack. I thought the light was the sun burning my skin off and I also watched a really messed up horror movie prior to this, and I had the thoughts run through my head over and over again. I'm 25 now, so this happened nearly 10 years ago. I struggled for a very long time. Partially because I had a really bad support system around me, and I also was not willing to say my demons outloud.
I promise you it actually does get better. I actually smoke again now but in very small amounts and I've never had such a horrific experience again. I was diagnosed with OCD when I was 21 and have been in therapy since which has helped immensely.
If you are looking for advice I would suggest stop obsessively googling things about your condition. Try to accept that is happened, and try not to blame yourself. Anxiety is all about living in the "what if, what next" mindset. Look into meditation and deep breathing, self love and most importantly be kind to yourself! We actually live in a really full on world, expecting us to do all these things, cram so much into out day and so forth. Take it easy Lucy, start by doing little things like going for a 10 minute walk around the block. Call a friend on the phone. Reconnect with your hobbies.
Do you live at home? What's your support system like? Do you have a therapist? What hobbies do you like?
Try and find something you like and focus your energy on that....
You're so brave and I really wish the best for you in the future. I created an account to reply to this because it hit so much with me, I really understand how scared you must be.
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Hi Elena (assuming that is your name hahaha)
thank you so much for the kind words, it was so nice to log back on and see this response! I’ve always wondered how long it would take for me to be back to normal or if I ever would be and seeing someone on the other end of it makes it seem even more in reach. It’s been 8 months since the incident now and I’m slowly seeing improvement. It’s been an absolute long journey so far but I’m still much better than I was before. Thankfully I have a good support system and am now seeing a psychologist. I was even able to take a gap year to work on my mental health which is a privilege I know most don’t get. I’m truly blessed with how strong my support is. I’ve been able to take up sports again, start playing instruments I’ve always wanted to play and have even started teaching myself to paint. I’m miles away from the girl I was in the first post, I still have a long way to go but I can finally see the light at the other side
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