Student = Anxiety, stupid shakes and general mind/body malfunctions...tips to manage?

[nipz1]

I understand anxiety, well at least I thought I did. Recently it has been coming in short, paralysing burst along with some unwanted symptoms. Most of it centres around studying, but not always. And I'm not entirely sure what's going on. We all experience anxiety, but I've never felt it like this.

For example, I am in a shop buying jeans and go to the check-out to pay and when I go to say something nothing comes out, trust me I tried - it was like I had something stuck in my throat, there was barely an audible rasp. Then I am all spaced out, literally seeing stars, feeling like I am going to die, sitting down 5m outside the shop. I had no idea what happened. Still don't. 10 min later, however, I was fine...just confused as to what happened. This situation is concerning because there was no stress involved prior, it just happened. But my main concern is what is happening at Uni because I'm concerned I will pay dearly for it in the exams. Both coming up and future. Each time this has happened everything feels so unreal. I can barely make sense of what's going on.

I had a deferred mid-semester exam a couple of weeks ago and I was fine up until I opened it up at which point my mind just fell apart. Everything felt weird, wrong, I couldn't think straight, I made dumb mistakes, I couldn't make sense of what I was reading, my hands were shaking, just like Parkinson's disease (serious) and generally I felt claustrophobic.

And then six days ago I was demoing a group assignment, sitting down with three other students. The tutor was marking our programme and said he'll have to take a mark off us for a certain section. It just happened to be my section of the programme. I knew I read the assignment doc correctly. I'm trying to reason with the tutor because I was right. And then I just start talking rapidly (to the point I think he just gave us the mark to shut me up), I felt sick, I couldn't swallow, and again shaky, so shaky. My groupmate said, 'what's happened to your face, are you okay? You're a beetroot'. Then I realised I felt all tingly and weird. Hot, prickly, cold all at the same time. Clearly, my heart was working in overdrive. And a definite disconnect with reality - though I think that's just confusion. It only lasted a short time.

If you got this far, sorry, I'm just not sure what to do and any experience will help.

Concerned...

[stroppytom]

Google "GAD" and use the search function here to search the same term. Go to the UNI's on-site medical team and explain how you feel and what you experienced. They are duty-bound to assist you.

[smallwolf]

Hi,

Welcome to beyond blue. You should find this a safe place here and get support from others here as well. Please note that we are not trained professionals but are just like you. People that need help and obviously give each other support

Going to go out on a limb here and thinking you are doing some sort of computer related course. You also mentioned being involved in a group program(me). Correct me if I am wrong. If so I can relate to that feeling when you lose a mark. That is or can be both good and bad though.

Before I go on, can I suggest that you speak to a counselor at uni? And if you don't know who to speak to maybe ask a lecturer?

Back to losing a mark... I did computer science on the early 90s and am currently doing a BTh. More so in my computing degree and work I am somewhat of a perfectionist. You might be also. Your reference to stupid in the title could be seen as labelling. In psychology speak these can be cognitive disorders. Of course this is something you would have to speak with a counselor about. But otherwise food for thought.

Management comes down to distraction and coping techniques. There are threads here on mindfulness, grounding and meditation you should be able to find with the search function. And then there is also REBT, which is useful for cognitive disorders.

Finally, glad that you have reached out for help. I will be here for you. And I also know that the thoughts I/you have are irrational but at the same time so believable. My boss has asked me why I worry so much. I just do. I wish I didn't. But...

Later on I can tell you of the tools I use if you like. Let me know if you do and how you are getting on.

Tim

[nipz1]

Hi Tim,

Thanks for the reply. BTh, I believe my brother is doing that, I’m not sure why (can you survive?). I’m studying a Master of Analytics, but I believe it comes under MS. However, I have so many CS electives to choose from, even AI if I meet prereqs, I could basically turn it into an MCS with some stats knowledge.

Perfectionism. It’s a huge problem studying and a horrible time suck – but I don’t think I can change this.

Not sure what a cognitive disorder is, Google says it’s neurodegenerative disorders – please enlighten me. Cognitive malfunction, absolutely. Maybe I should have added I have a psychiatrist, who I try not to see, and have been diagnosed with label [bipolar] – Which I’m ambivalent about. Apparently, it’s the docs job to ‘keep me stable’, like I’m some sort of nuclear reactor. So, I take meds, mostly because I’m too scared to stop while studying. And, ashamedly, I have first-hand experience of the authority a psychiatrist carries when they THINK you’re unwell. Antidepressants may be helpful now, but no doctor I know will prescribe me them. I understand, but they can be a little too careful.

Besides, none of it matters. My mood is stable but I’m still useless at dealing with anxiety. And I'm struggling because of it, nothing else. I just want tools to attack exams with, in those moments I’m feeling overwhelmed. In the short term, grounding/breathing might be my only options – I think I will need these in the exam. I really should try mindfulness, especially leading up to exams. Talking to a therapist…ngh. I'll work on that one.

Anyway, thanks for the tips.

Nick