Seeking advice - Speech anxiety

[fenizz]

Hi there, I'm a high school senior and one of my school subjects requires me to do a speech in 3 months time and I guess its a long way to go but speaking in front of the class makes me feel incredibly anxious, my heart starts pounding like crazy even if I try to calm my self down with deep breaths and also because of my anxiety, my voice tends to shake or sound as if i'm warbling when I speak and my body feels jittery all over, especially my hands. It just makes me feel bad about myself as everyone else seems to do fine when delivering their speeches. I'm not that shy, but i'm introverted and often try to answer questions in class (only when we're all seated though) but for example, when we read a novel around the class or something similar, I get so anxious and I try to breathe in and out and say some affirmations in my head but as my turn nears, my anxiety just comes back even stronger and then I think of going to the bathroom to skip my turn although I don't like doing that because I know I need to face it instead of avoiding it but it still doesn't get better no matter how many times we read or do presentations. So I thought you guys may have some solutions to my issue so I can do my future presentations with ease. Also, not sure if this is relevant or not, but i've never been bullied or publicly humiliated or anything of the sort if that helps. And i've been like this since as long as I can remember, so from childhood I suppose.

Thanks!

[geoff]

Hello Fenizz, I'm sure you are no different to the majority of people even those who talk in public are also hesitant, same as actors/actresses.

Try and imagine you have a blanket placed around, only yourself so no one can see you, if you need to have a ruler placed on the book underlying what you have to say, there is no need to rush, take your time.

If you have a chance to be the first reader, rather than wait, helps to overcome the nerves.

Geoff.

[Summer Rose]

Hi Fenizz

Welcome to the bb forum and thank you for sharing your story.

You are certainly not alone. Public speaking is a challenge for many people, including no doubt many of your classmates—even if they manage to make it look easy.

For some people it’s about being nervous or a touch of anxiety, which is to be expected. For other people it’s a lot harder to push through. Hugs to you.

It will help if you’re really prepared. Try to get your speech done early so you have plenty of time to practice. Your family and friends can give you great feedback and hopefully help to build your confidence.

I would also encourage you to record your speech delivery on your phone. As you get closer to your speech date the anxiety may build. Watch your recording and remind yourself you can do it. Anxiety is often irrational but you will have evidence that you can do it.

I would also have a chat with your teacher well in advance of the speech. It’s okay to let your teacher know how you are feeling and to ask for advice. You will not be their first student to ask for support or their last. It’s okay.

If your school has a counsellor that’s also a person you can talk to about this.

I have written and delivered a lot of speeches in my life. I used to hate it but have learned to enjoy it. Remembering that my audiences are just people like me helps. So, if I stumble or lose my way momentarily it’s okay—we all may mistakes.

If you want to talk some more I’m here for you.

Kind thoughts to you

[yggdrasil]

Hi Fenizz,

Thank you so much for posting on here! I'm really sorry your talk is such a source of anxiety.

What helped me with this was finding ways to practice "overcoming fear" in general. For example, I started skateboarding again, and this helped a lot.

Also, I think anxiety around public speaking relates to fears we all have about what other people are saying and thinking about us. I still struggle with this. I learned a helpful strategy from a book called "The Antidote". The idea is to practice doing things in public that are just a bit "weird", so that strangers will definitely think you're a bit strange. The suggestion from the book was, when you're riding the train, to say the names of the stations out loud as the train arrives at them. You could do something similar walking down the street, saying the names of the streets out loud as you pass them. This sounds pretty crazy, but the idea is that you will discover even though people may momentarily think you're a bit weird, the world doesn't end, and nothing bad happens to you. This may help ease social anxieties more generally. It definitely helped me - it even became sort of funny to me the things people found "weird."

The other thing is that while fear of public speaking is normal, feeling anxious now about a talk 3 months away is pretty severe. Although you will likely need to learn this skill in your life, I've known many people with extreme social anxiety, and at least at uni, reasonable adjustments were made for them, such as being able to give their talks privately to just their professor, not a large audience. Your school may have an option like this which you could pursue, even if it's just to take the pressure off for upcoming talks. Just talking to your teacher/counsellor to see if you can put this option in place may help you feel better over the next 3 months, even if you ultimately decide to speak to the whole class. There's nothing at all wrong with overcoming fears and challenges in small steps. This is how you do it in skateboarding.

All the best, and best of luck!

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi there

I can absolutely relate to how petrifying you find this, so you’re not alone. Everyone has given great advice and suggestions, but I just want to say that I think it’s so great you want to go ahead and not choose the easy way.

I chose the easy way all throughout uni, and I don’t feel good about it. You’re right, it doesn’t get it easier no matter how many times you do it. But you get to feel good that you did it, and that’s reward in itself. It’s how we grow, by facing the things that are hard, rather than shrinking ourselves and our lives, in order to feel comfortable. I feel much better about the one speech I did - shaking, breathless, flushed, stumbling over my words - than all the others I didn’t do.

Sorry I’m not adding strategies - but just wanted to say good on you! Katy