Same feeling, different thoughts

[CMF]

Hi friends,

My anxiety has been hanging around last few weeks. It's been awful. Something triggered  me which led to ruminating & catastrophising. Round & round it goes, making up scenarios, triggered by other little things, even just a word. Once I'm triggered every little thing is magnified and round it goes again from one thing to another. It's exhausting. It's not the first time & probably not the last. I've tried to practise mindfulness, gratitude, positive thoughts. I've told myself they are just thoughts. I've tried to  remember how it feels when I'm not anxious,  when my mind is clear. I'm trying to understand.

They are just thoughts. I find this important to remember because no matter what the thought or trigger is, the feeling is the same. If I were told tomorrow I had a terminal disease,  the anxious feeling would be tge same as the anxious feeling i have about other triggers. I've had anxiety for years,  i know it well. 

I try to remind myself of this. The triggers,  the reason the thought that causes my anxiety may be different but the feeling is always the same.

It IS just a feeling.

Cmf

[Sialani]

I'm so sorry you have been feeling this way, I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. I am someone who also has suffered from years of crippling anxiety to the point no matter how hard you try and what you do it never seems to be enough to you never feel like it will stop. Even with medication and techniques of mindfulness it only may stop for a few seconds or none at all. I totally understand and hear you. At the end of the day yes, it's just our thoughts and yes, it's an overwhelming crazy feeling throughout our body but only we can truly understand ourselves no matter how hard we try to explain it or describe it. Everyday years ago, I used to just become so worked up and triggered and overwhelmed and thought no one could understand me or support me. It took me a long time to realize I was the only one who could change this, I was the only one who could push myself to not feel like this anymore. I had to do things and put myself out there in groups and other Enviromental situations and places just to help take the reality of knowing I had anxiety away. Everyone is different but it helped me and I still today struggle some days with it but it's not every day and that is okay because I'm allowed to struggle but we cannot let it control us no matter how hard it gets. I'm here to support you and listen in any way I can and I hope that together we can overcome this even by the littlest bit. 

[Flop]

Hello CMF,

I just want to say Sialani, what you said is incredibly empowering and inspiring.

My anxiety has shifted, I used to deal with very much the same thing as you CMF, now I think it's more reactionary and anticipatory. I used to essentially drive myself mad with intrusive thoughts and stressing about them making me an awful person etc. It wasn't always the worst thing in the world but it bare minimum wasn't something I agreed to, which would spur my mind to try and trigger me further. Sounds insane right? 

A channel called "TherapyInANutshell" on YouTube really helped me with understanding my anxiety and helped me overcome my intrusive thoughts. A video in particular she has really helped me create space between thoughts and who I was. That barrier of separation is a really powerful tool that I think could help with a lot of different problems relating to thoughts being overwhelming. The video in question is called "Leaves on a Stream".
 
I hope your anxiety passes soon. Feel better ❤️

[CMF]

Hi Sialani & Flop, 

Thanks for posting.  Sialani I'm glad you were able to put yourself out there & do things that helped you. 

Flop, I'll look at the YouTube video you mentioned, thanks.

When I read others' posts about their anxiety it also reminds me it's just a feeling. We are all experiencing the same feeling but the thoughts are different. 

Cmf

[CMF]

Hi Flop 

Great videos.  Thanks 😊

[Flop]

Hope you found it helpful 🙂 

[CMF]

Hi Flop & everyone reading,

I also found another one ( by someone else) about separating the thought from the feeling.  It was about finding where the feeling is & nurturing yourself. My doing so it should move your focus from the thoughts & stop the ruminating. Interestingly,  I was feeling unwell a few days ago. Headache, tired, blurred vision. I cam home from work & crashed on the couch. I could only focus on feeling unwell & it calmed me.

Cmf

[Areasontofight]

Hi CMF,

Yes, it is a feeling, but not just a feeling. The worst and best things in life are feelings - pain, joy…all just words to describe feelings (and all words fall short in my opinion, but they are the best we’ve got).

For me, when I broke, I was overseas, in a place I hated, I felt completely alone. I was absolutely terrified and it was a step-by-step, minute-to-minute fight to never capitulate to the lizard-brain of comfort…comfortable thoughts like “it’s just a feeling”, or “I don’t want to do that, so I won’t…”. That cloud wanting me to just hide from the world, wishing life would go back to the way it was…that - to me - was the voice of weakness, primitive brain seeking comfort in the known and predictable. 

What has helped me - and still does to this day - is that I refuse to let the negative thoughts control me. Yes, some days are tough, but they are the most rewarding when you push through (and yes, the worst days did need anti-anxiety medication to assist me on that journey - and, in time, I formulated a plan to get off them, which I am now, but it took time). 

Yes, this difficult period will pass. I believe it is best to see the difficult times as an opportunity - the discomfort gives you the opportunity to really find what in life is scaring you, triggering you and holding you back…you can find that, defeat it and be a stronger person for it. 
In dealing with your anxiety - not running from it or hiding - but facing it with honesty and courage, with the strength you have right now, you will beat it. 

It will take time; it will hurt, but nothing  rewarding in life is easy. 
 

I found cold showers/baths/(if you’re really keen, ice-cold river plunges!) were a good  reboot to the brain when life was dark. Cardio - run, walk, bike, whatever you love - burn off the Cordisol, don’t leave it in your system to feed the anxiety that hurts you. Cutting the alcohol - I stopped cold-turkey and it has changed my world (I still drink on occasion, but on MY terms when I want, not to escape, not a routine because it’s what others are doing, not to numb the pain).
 

You are always stronger than you think you are. As tough and merciless as anxiety can be, you have more in you now than it can ever have…on top of that, you have these forums which are also brilliant - they are always here to remind you, you are not alone.