Relationship anxiety

[Cloud123]

I am in a healthy and loving relationship but struggle with anxious thoughts about the future. It's getting to the point where I feel like I need to make a decision as to marriage. I want to marry him but I can't help but feel that after the wedding and kids it will all end terribly. I am not sure I have any real reason to believe that except that we are different in some ways. For example, he is introverted and I am extroverted; I am very spiritual and (while he supports it and will listen and engage), he is not so much.

In saying that, we have similar values of wanting to be kind and help people, wanting to build a strong family etc and we get along really well. We are really in love, both humble and supportive towards each other, always kind, communicative and willing to work together.

Has anyone else experienced something similar and have any tips on trying to understand the difference between anxious thoughts, and my body/subconscious/intuition telling me something important?

[Guest9337]

G'day Cloud123, thanks for posting here on bb.

I had epic cold feet the day before my wedding. So I drove down to my parents home and cried in front of them pouring it all out, I had one specific issue conflicting me. Dad said, don't marry her then. Mum listened and comforted me.

That issue has remained through 10 years of marriage, but it is just one "con" compared to all the other "pro's" of our relationship.

Marriage is such a big commitment that thoughts and feelings about it, for me, magnified and projected into the future and became quite overwhelming.

idk, is that something similar to your experience?

[jtjt_4862]

Hi Cloud123,

Welcome to the forums. Sorry to hear about how you're feeling about your relationship at the moment. Marriage is certainly a very big commitment, and we want to make sure that the person that we're marrying is the person that we want to be with for the rest of our lives. So it's natural to have all these anxious thoughts about whether this person is right for us or not. When that happens, we spend more time with them to better understand them on a deeper level, before expressing the biggest commitment than a home mortgage.

But in that saying, we can't be certain what the future holds. From what you've described, you both have similar values in terms of contributing to the community, and have visions of building a strong family together. You treat each other with kindness and work together during the tough times. While there can be differences between couples, but if accept each other's differences, or come to a mutual agreement about them, then that's great. Unless it's a something of a deal breaker for you. There are no perfect couples, but continuous team work and collaboration from both couples is what makes a relationship strong and everlasting.

Jt