Panic attacks

[Mary987]

Im in healthcare and have been suffering from burnout in my old job so I left and got another healthcare job in a different area hoping it wouldn't be so bad. Unfortunately this one is actually worse in regards to pressure. I've been suffering panic attacks which is something I can't afford to continue having in this job role as it directly affects the people I have contact with. I don't know if I'm having a nervous breakdown which Is why I can't cope. I am Seeking professional help. I am not sure if I should try and persist with this job as I try to figure out what to do or if I should resign and focus on my mental health..Resigning brings its own set of problems too which is adding to my anxiety. I've only been at the new job for a few weeks and have been thrown into the deep end. I don't feel comfortable raising this as an issue with my supervisor. I'm really stuck it's making me feel so unwell. I can bearly function. The last panic attack was so bad I almost fainted at work. I had to leave early. The more I try to push forward the worse I feel. I can't seem to re focus myself as my emotions are overtaking my body atm. I can't get it under control no matter what I try. I'm really stuck and don't know what to do for my next steps. Any suggestions 

[therising]

Hi Mary987

I honestly think one of the toughest ways to learn in life is through hindsight. It's like suffering in some way, through to the moment where things become clear. I find that when hindsight hits or someone leads me to see how everything's been playing out, it becomes 'No wonder I was struggling so much. It makes complete sense'. All of a sudden, you're much kinder to yourself and sometimes even proud of yourself, based on how well you managed under the circumstances. Hindsight offers a vantage point with which to gain a new perspective. 

Looking back, does it look like you never fully recovered from your last job and while in a state of exhaustion and stress, you're now managing one not a lot of people could cope with, when you consider the demands? Can't help but wonder whether the person who filled the position (before you) left based on it being too stressful. In other words, it's an impossible job to remain in. Could that be the fault of management in some way, while they perhaps hold impossible expectations to be met or while they manage through delegation in possibly under staffed conditions (aka 'a one person job that actually takes 2 to manage')?

When I think about the last job I was in, I thought it was just me not being able to cope, like I was broken in some way. I worked as a kitchen hand in an aged care facility, where there was only one kitchen hand on per shift. When I started the job I loved it but as COVID hit and a lot of changes were made to the shifts (with new and much higher demands) it became incredibly stressful. With stressful factors increasing outside of work as well, I just couldn't cope anymore and while with me being an old hand at managing depression, anxiety was now becoming a whole new ball game. Long story short, I resigned to focus on a number of challenges outside of the job that were gradually demanding more and more of my time. With my husband agreeing to manage as the sole income earner, this came as a relief. Before I left the job, we trained a large number of people for the position. Each new staff member declared 'This is not for me, it's just too stressful'. In hindsight, I realised 1)I was working in a job a number of people didn't want to manage or couldn't manage, 2)I had too many stressors in my life to be able to cope, 3)I had not enough people helping me manage things outside of work, 4)N95 masks were making a suffocating job even more suffocating (an 8 hour shift in a hot and highly stressful environment is a form of torture😊), 5)management weren't employing enough staff to make the job more manageable, 6)I was trying to manage everything along with certain mental health challenges (including the inner dialogue that comes with them) and the list goes on. Hindsight can help make sense of how things add up. Personally, I've found a breakdown demands a break down of everything that's come to add up over time. Can be quite the process.

How to tip the scales in your favour? While it's sounds like they're seriously out of balance, partly based on how things have come to add up, 'How to tip them back into balance?' could be the question. What would lead you to feel more balanced? A less stressful job with more time to relax outside of work, which could include a job that doesn't require much thought? Some new support people or guides in your life? New skills for managing mental/physical stress? A restructuring of your current position, if possible? Sorry 'bout that, a lot of questions, I know. I've found a quest for a difference tends to come with a lot of questions. Have you spoken to others in your field who have faced similar challenges? It's amazing how things begin to make more sense when we speak to people who've worked or are working in the system we're in. When many report on how 'broken' the system feels, it can be enlightening. In truth, we can be feeling all the faults of a broken system, not our fault/s.

[jesnor]

Hi Mary,

I feel for you as I used to be in the same position, regular panic attacks at work and having to leave early. Hiding in the toilet trying to breath through it. I found a psychologist who helped me navigate the panic attacks and the issues I experienced at work. It took some time but from having several attacks a week they subsided. I highly recommend talking to a therapist on a regular basis. They might also help you on how to reach out to your supervisor - a good supervisor should be supportive. In all reality they want to keep you there healthy and happy. There is a lot more effort for them to hire someone new rather than trying to look after the staff they have hired already - and they did hire you for your skills and experience! Sometimes some time off can be helpful and needed. Would you be able to take a few days off maybe? Get a med cert from your GP if so, your employer doesn’t have to know why and can’t legally ask you to say why you’re taking time if you don’t want to share when you have a med cert.  It’s so difficult, particularly if you’re in a challenging work environment. I also find that exercising before work, doesn’t have to be a full blown work out but a fast walk or jog is really helpful. If it isn’t a supportive environment it might be worth trying to find another workplace but I would try some other strategies first if it’s a place that you would like to stay working at! I’m also mindful sharing mental health issues at work and who I share it with, a psychologist or therapist are helpful guiding you through how to approach it. Hope you’re doing ok

[jesnor]

I should add - nothing is worth sacrificing your health for. Your health is more important than any job. It’s awful having to feel like that at work. If it’s not an environment where you are supported or feel comfortable asking for support it might not be a good place to stay. Don’t push yourself through and end up burning out again. You should feel valued and safe.