New grad veterinarian and hating it

[sadvet]

Hi everyone,

I always thought it was my lifelong dream to become a vet. But after learning more about the profession at the end of my first year and into my second year, I realised that maybe this isn't something I wanted. Yes, I blame myself for not doing my research properly beforehand. I also stupidly thought I was strong enough to handle the challenges the industry throws at me, but was I ever wrong. It didn't help that during my placements, some of the vets actually told me if they had a second chance, they would never have chosen vet. I wasn't failing classes, but I did stop going to them in my second year, and had a talk to a professor that I'm considering for a year off to reassess. She just nonchalantly said I was just getting stressed from my exams. I told my parents this as well but they (especially my mum) strongly discouraged this and made me finish the remaining 2-3 years of the course.

Flash forward, I somehow graduated. My partner (who was also a fellow classmate) has made school more bearable for me to actually finish it. However, I was not proud of myself on graduating. Instead, I felt more dread, just thinking that I have to practise soon after. I didn't care that I now have a 'Dr' in my name, heck I forget about it most of the time. I went for career counselling, but my degree is really only useful for landing me a job at a vet GP, unless I'm willing to try for an entry-level job with a corporate company (eg data entry or receptionist at Mars Petcare), which I'd rather not. Now I'm at a GP, hoping that it isn't as bad as I thought. However, my boss is just so harsh. She talks down on me, both in my face and behind my back. She tells clients that 'the new grad vet probably won't be able to do the venepuncture' and that she'll take over after I fail. She also tells me I fail repeatedly when I was unsuccessful at performing a task. Some of the clients come to the clinic because of her, and they act a lot like her too. They get angry when I wasn't able to do something (I already warned them I'm inexperienced) and treat me like dirt. Boss comes in to take over and says it's sad I couldn't do it. Day and night I'm just so anxious. Especially at night, I get panic attacks and I can't enjoy what I normally do cause I'm afraid of time passing by until work starts again. I went to a GP and got some medications. I am also starting counselling sessions soon, but thought I'd like to share my experience here and get some advise as well. Thank you!

[Quercus]

Hi Sadvet 😊

This is a helpful post because it shows clearly the type of feedback and criticism you prefer from an employer.

I've worked for people with a blunt style like your boss and the turnover of staff was pretty high. Employees aren't there to be treated like crap. Employers aren't exempt from being polite but some forget this.

The feedback from the first vet sounds more reasonable... To show you what was wrong so you can learn. Also your boss making pregnancy jokes is pretty poor form.

Have you felt able to stand up for yourself when she is rude like this? One thing that stood out to me was that although your boss was blunt and rude you also gave one word replies. It is very hard to speak up but sometimes keeping quiet means they will keep acting the same way.

An example could be when she said maybe you are pregnant you could say something like No, I feel sick because your practice and reputation is important to me and I want to improve but the feedback system is not what works for me. I feel put down a lot.

I play "dumb" sometimes and just ask outright if the person meant to be unkind. For example I'd laugh and say far out I need my hearing checked. I thought you just called me pregnant and that felt pretty unkind. Anyway... Do you have any reading material I could borrow on the (procedure that you made a mistake) so I can make sure I improve next time?

Maybe it's a bit passive aggressive but I have used this before with bosses who were jerks. Doesn't always work but worth try?

Im glad to hear you're applying elsewhere. Work shouldn't make you need to leave or leave you feeling distressed.

[sadvet]

Hi Nat,

I have wanted to stand up to her several times, but I do find it a bit scary to do so. This is especially because she usually tells me off in front of others, and unlike her I'd rather not create a scene. I also get the impression that she always think she's right, or she's just going to tell me to lighten up. However, I have included my reasons for resigning in my resignation letter, stating (in as polite a manner as possible) that I do not feel respected in this workplace, and that I feel I am not able to learn properly in such an environment. I guess I just do not want to create a fuss until my exit, which I'm really looking forward to.

Maybe I will start being passive-aggressive to her towards the end of my job there, if she continues to treat me this way. I have tried to ignore her at work, and I never participated in their Facebook group chat, but she still comes to find me which terrifies me.

I'm actually surprised that the turnover rate does not seem that high (or maybe it is but I just never asked). She always criticise the other staff members behind their backs (she called the nurses idiots to me), and I'm sure they know but are somehow still here. It makes me wonder if I'm being sensitive or if they just accept that she's like this and somehow live with it.

[sadforsons]

Hi sadvet

I feel that your boss obviously has her own issues, whatever they may be. Also, by criticising others, as she does, is a sure sign that she suffers from a low self esteem. Most people would feel guilty at readily criticising their work mates behind their backs, unless they received some form of pleasure from it?

She may well be jealous or envious of you. Your boss is not displaying characteristics of a successful business person and may see an empathetic element in your personality that she so surely lacks.

Personally, I would feel sorry for her. Apply for other positions and move on. Put it down to experience - you have survived the worst, things can only get better....

[sadvet]

Hi sadforsons, thank you very much for taking the time to read this thread (and my rants). Yes, I am not sure why she is like this. Maybe she thinks she can act however way she wants because she owns the place. In that sense, I do notice the company's protocols depends very much on her decision, even though most of these practices are considered backward and many practices have already abolished them, deeming them to be 'bad medicine'.

I feel quite anxious about leaving. Don't get me wrong, I definitely wish to leave, and am applying to other places. But I feel that knowing her, she won't take it very well, and she'd probably complain to everyone (both staff and customers) about me. I feel like she's going to make me an enemy of the clinic, I know I shouldn't care but I do feel terrified thinking about it.

[Dog_girl]

I've been a vet for 30 years now and I do know that those first few years are very difficult. I found it very stressful and I was very unsupported and I actually had a breakdown and stopped work after about 8 months. I spent 10 weeks in bed recovering, then went traveling overseas, and came back and enrolled in teaching. Then a friend offered me a vet locum at another practice where I was encouraged and supported, and I still work as a vet part time today. I would recommend that you look around for a more supportive practice. It doesn't necessarily have to be a country practice. It is a stressful profession but it can also be very rewarding too. With the right path in, it may still work for you. One bad practice might shake your confidence at a vulnerable time, but it can get better. Maybe you could get somewhere part time so you ahve space to look after yourself as well.