Need to get better for my kids...

[MareeB2007]

Hi all. I am new to the BB website and really need your help advice and support. I have had terrible anxiety for the past 12 months. I am having at least weekly panic attacks and I am just so tired of this. I have has mild anxiety attacks over the years but these have been related to a stressful life event and have resolved on their own. This time it is not going away and is getting worse.  Feel like I am going crazy and it is really starting to affect my family. My two little girls said they are tied of me being sick all the time. Nearly broke my heart. I have really bad physical symptoms including; feeling dizzy unsteady lightheaded diarrhoea shaking foggy-head tired nausea and more.  The drunk/dizzy feeling is the worst! Does anybody else get that? At moment I am still functioning and manage to put my "game face" on most days and just get on with life and work as best i can. But i feel like i am getting to the end of my tether and just want to curl in to a ball. But i have to get better for my kids. My young teen confessed to me that she thinks she may have anxiety. I was completely floored. How can I help her when I am so caught up in  my own illness. Have i caused her to be anxious. Probably. Kids model their parents behaviour - but i thought i was keeping my illness hidden from her. Now i am failing as a mum too. Hubby is trying to be supportive but he doesn't really know how to help. So far i have tried relaxation apps and breathing techniques which do helpa little in the short term...but i am on a general steady decline.  My situation is also a little difficult because i feel like i can't get professional help.  I am a doctor so i feel like i should be able to help myself. I am to embarrassed to see another doctor for help. I know that is irrational but it's how i feel. Such a failure that i cant heal myself this time. 

Anyway thanks for reading this long winded post. Hope to get some help and some understanding from this online community. Hope wherever you are you are doing okay and getting better or coping as best you can. 

Any advice welcome and I am here if anybody needs to share their story. It may help.  xo

[Jacko777]

Hi MareeB2007,

Sorry to hear you are struggling, I hope you get some ideas and support here.

You know, the world needs all the good doctors we can get, I presume you are a GP, you fix the body, but you are not expected to fix the mind. You have the opportunity to set the example here, for your kids, for other doctors, forget what anyone else thinks, anyone with half a brain would only have compassion for you anyway. You can get over this embarrassment, taking action on this will make you a better, more effective doctor and help you to help others, which surely is your goal. Action cures fear! Love to you, you can do this mate.

Jack xo

[Eme]

Hi Maree, 

 I haven't been here for a wee while & I have been browsing posts. 

You saying the "Drunk, Dizzy" feeling got me, that's me all over. I have the odd day where I feel good but generally feel lightheaded most of the time. 

I have done so much reading & research and have found that it's due to not getting sufficient sleep. That of course is due to depression, it disturbs your sleep & you wake feel groggy/foggy, the runs, it's horrid. 

I have just been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, I have now realised I have had it for about 15 years. I just got so use to feeling like shit that I thought that was just me & that I just dealt with it the best way I could. 

I have two kids, a 3yo & a 1yo. The other day I was crying so much my son asked me what was wrong & I had to tell him my tummy hurt.

I have an appointment to see a Physiciatrist tomoz as I was molested & blackmailed for a few years when I was young. I really feel that it is the stem & I'm happy to get some therapy to help as I need to be healthy for my family. I also take Meds, if I didn't I know I would be 6ft under.  I'm hear if you ever need to chat okay, as I feel exactly as you do. 

Sending love x x


 

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[Jacko777]

How did you go at the psych appointment Eme?

Jack xx

[Coggles]

Hi all hope it is travelling well

being a doctor you could probably tell I have had health anxiety. I have had more symptoms as there are days. I am getting better now one day at a time. I saw a psychologist who went through different techniques to try to relax. They do help to some extent (relax for the time so you can gather your thoughts).

from experience I have found that holding it and trying to be strong is one of the worse things you can do. Being open about it will allow you to realise it is there and then can take the steps to help. Two major techniques that helped me where:

to acknowledge that is is there but observe. To give it true acknowledgement lets it control you. And if it was too much and got to me came to the second and that was to disprove it. As mine had symptoms I would do various things to disapprove the thought. Example is if I feel sore in my chest my brain would tell me heart attack. So I would check my pulse and that is fine. Check jaw and that was fine, and just giving my mind evidence that what it was thinking is incorrect.

unfortunately we can't always choose what our minds think. If we could I think we would be a lot more mentally healthy

another trick when it came to something that had just popped in my head like a scenario of something bad that could happen was to think of something more unrealistic to go against it. Example would be if I was up high on a balcony and think oh no what if I trip and fall off it or something like that. I would return with the thought of something like I could but what if I flew and didn't fall, or there could be a very soft landing at the bottom.

mental health can be very troubling and each person is different and some techniques may or may not work for you but trying never hurt anyone. Just find the right one for you and it can lead to a lot happier life.

i hope it all goes well for all and wish everyone the best