My Sister is getting worse..Using GOD to make her point

blondguy

Hey everyone

Similar to SmallWolf this can be difficult to discuss as a champion

I have posted a similar topic a few years back....Just trying again

My younger sister insists that I physically crush my collection of many of my movies as she doesnt believe that generalized anxiety or Schizophrenia are mental health conditions. She is adamant that these illnesses are caused by Satan....and yes I am serious, unfortunately.

I joined Beyond Blue in January 2016 and am well educated in many areas of mental health and providing the best quality support and TLC possible over a long period of time.

Can anyone assist me on this as its having a negative effect my long term recovery from chronic anxiety issues. My sister said she doesnt follow religion as "she is in God's immediate family"

If it helps anyone understand, my sister has firmly mentioned that my thrillers and horror movies have to be crushed and not donated to charity as they are portals for Satan.

Any level of support on this would be really appreciated

my kindest always

Paul

therising

Hi Paul

How the brain works with or through our imagination and our beliefs can be such a complex topic. While we may hear our inner dialogue as 'You've got to leave this job, it's destroying you' and that may be true, we may imagine we're hearing from a more conscious part of our brain (that leads us to make the best decisions) or from perhaps 'the sage' in us. For others, if they're led to fully believe and imagine it's God talking to them, this becomes their reality. Their reality they imagine is completely and utterly real for them. While this can all be fairly innocent, things change significantly when 'the voice' or 'the voices' we/they hear begin to dictate an obsessive, dangerous or destructive kind of reality or a reality that starts to deeply impact other people. While there can be a happy balance between what we imagine and what's real in a healthy sense, when the imagination completely takes over it's a whole other story. Reality shifts dramatically. I suppose the question can come down to 'How do I manage someone else's seriously challenging state of reality?'.

Do we approach a person based on their reality? For example, do we say 'You have nothing to worry about. I know the difference between good and evil and while I feel these videos aren't entirely good/Godly, I know they're not going to corrupt me in any way. They're not going to turn me into a person who lacks kindness, generosity, love for others, compassion, empathy and more. Have faith in me and the fact that I can't be turned into anyone other than who I naturally am, a good/Godly person'?
Do we try grounding them out of their imagination (out of what they hear), bringing them back down to earth a little more? Do we try leading them to imagine a different kind of reality? A little bit of a round about way of doing it but it could sound like 'If God dictates every person has free will, isn't there then the need to think for yourself on occasion, as opposed to following every single word of God? I imagine God would like you to begin thinking for yourself more, while trusting you and the way you come to think'. It could be a way of them becoming more independent from 'the voice/s'.
Do we say to our self 'I can't manage interacting with this person's version of reality based on my own mental health challenges. I need to have a break from them and their version of reality. This is what's best for me'?

The brain is definitely a complex thing and the DSM-V (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Vol. 5) covers the many ways in which it can work/create degrees of disorder. From 'schizophrenia' through the 'spiritual emergency' (yes, that's actually in there), sometimes is pays to wonder what someone's really dealing with. While these 2 states of disorder address seriously altered brain states, altered states of consciousness and altered perception, they're managed very differently.

randomxx

Gday there Paul nice to see you again my friend.

But l'm wondering how whatever you like has anything to do with your sister, do you both live in the same house btw too or ?

At any rate while l can understand someone not liking horror or anything else for that matter either in what ever form of movies they prefer themselves, it's not like in this case it's your wife or someone of that kind of place in your life. A sister thing at your age shouldn't even exist tbh imo and l've got 6 of them - how could l have been so unlucky l hear ha ha well, l'd have to ask mum and dad what were they thinking on that one.

But none of them have anything to do with my life or what l do or don't do. lf though l was say talking to one of them and this or that came up and they think l should stop this or do that, maybe l'd listen maybe l wouldn't. Maybe it might relate to my own mh and it's a suggestion that might be helping or hindering say for example, or a relationship , or something else, maybe it might be some helpful thoughts or input.

But if it was just about something l like and they don't, forget it.ln your case at any rate though if you are sharing the house you can almost just watch whatever you like in your room separately anyway right, that's what l'd do.

PS, personally l don't actually like horror as such myself especially anything too blood and guts but problem is l do love high action and thrillers. Unfortunately for me though that sort of stuff usually does come with a lot of it or at least some somewhere through it to though sooooo, l try to skim those bits look away whatever. One l'm watching at the moment actually, The Originals , love this stuff but yeah same story , bit gory that's the only problem.

Funny, or not, but my ex w loveddddd horror the gore doesn't even faze her. She had great taste in movies mostly only thing was though it often for me came with too much of that stuff. l not only have trouble seeing it or trying not too, but l'll dream a lot too later , so for me l have to be careful in those ways.

Anyway all the best

rx

tranzcrybe

I guess this is a matter of perceived difference.

A bit like explaining something from the scientific versus the philosophical view: ostensibly the same, but never the twain shall meet, and very much the model of societal perceptions devised/acquired along the way. What's not so clear is precisely which is which!

Worldly matters only create worldly problems and all can be attributed to the Satan - as a label, not the stereotype.

Question: If there were no external influences in life, would we still have anxiety, depression, or abuse? Is this state of being nothing more than the Utopian Garden of Eden?

God represents the before and after ('Alpha and Omega'), so incorporating the concept of Eternity can lessen the impact of our temporary mortal experience purely on scale alone.

The common base is that we are all a product of our environment - life's experiences, good and bad, make up our strengths and weaknesses; but not necessarily respectively, since either can have both positive and negative outcomes in varying degrees - not only on ourselves but also impacting the lives of others. It comes down to what viewpoint we take.

Ggrand

Hello Dear Paul,

As some forum members know I work for a Christian charity shop and we get lots of DVDs donated and lots of those are horror, thrillers etc…and the shop accepts them with gratitude…like all donations…and they sell well…why crush them, when someone else can enjoy the movies….as well as helping the less fortunate people with the money they bring in……..I’m sorry that your sister has told you to do that…

Schzophrenia, along with anxiety, depression, as you know are treatable by medication…if these illnesses were caused by Satan, no amount of medication, therapy etc would help these people one little bit…it’s hard for anyone, even family and friends to understand the amount of pain, hurt and sometimes embarrassment that these illnesses can cause…

Paul, It’s sad that your sisters words are having a negative effect on your long term recovery…We need people to lift us up, you do that to lots of people here on these forums, your a legend here, a mentor someone that we look up to….Your words of compassion, empathy and encouragement and your caring heart is what makes you, you…Paul, believe in yourself and your heart….continue on your journey to wellness, the way you encourage us to here on the forums….Words can hurt, a lot, even words that someone says to you, while trying to help you…Then we dwell on those words through anxiety and start to question ourselves and if what we’re doing to help ourselves is right or wrong….You have come a long way Paul, keep taking those baby steps forward and keep believing in yourself…like we all do….

I am not a fan of horror, thrillers or anything that is blood gory…but as a teenager I remember watching them, every Friday night it was a horror movie on tv…A lady I used to work with around 20 years ago, is a strict catholic and loves watching them…I think if you enjoy them and take them as what they are ie:- someone’s imagination made into a movie, it’s okay…..watching horror movies or thrillers doesn’t make a person bad…just like watching faith and religious film doesn’t make a person a saint….

My kindest thoughts and care dear Paul….and a gentle hug 🤗…

Grandy…🤗🩷.

blondguy

Hello Tranzcribe

I appreciate your help and respect the TLC you provide to so many members on the Beyond Blue Forums 🙂

I dont really understand your post. I just lost my 94 year old mother late August 2024 and my beautiful caring girlfriend in 2022. I have been having difficulty getting traction after the loss of my mother and my soulmate within a 2 year period.

I understand you mean well. Please dont judge people on the forums

Please note that I didnt do a good job of providing sufficient information for members (or yourself) to provide effective support in my opening post. It was a difficult post to write.

Happy Australia Day to you and your family Tranzscrybe

my kindest

Paul

blondguy

Hey RX

Its always a bonus to see you on the forums and thankyou for your heartfelt post!

Im having some technical difficulties with posting....with my Alienware lol

You mentioned some very helpful points and especially helpful was when you mentioned

''A sister thing at your age shouldn't even exist tbh imo and l've got 6 of them - how could l have been so unlucky l hear ha ha well, l'd have to ask mum and dad what were they thinking on that one"

You have always been so supportive RX...You made my day!

Happy Australia Day RX 🙂

my best

Paul

blondguy

Hey Grandy!!

Thankyou for your gentle and kind heart. My Wizz Bang PC is causing some issues for me at the moment.

I dont like horror movies either...My sister dislikes...

* The Omen

* Event Horizon

* Poltergeist

* and many 40 year old movies..

These are all dated non gory sleepy thrillers ....Even Poltergeist would put a teenager to sleep nowadays

My relative has unmedicated bipolar (manic depression) and is now speaking as a member of God's immediate family

Grandy helpfully mentioned ' Schizophrenia, along with anxiety, depression, as you know are treatable by medication…if these illnesses were caused by Satan, no amount of medication, therapy etc would help these people one little bit…it’s hard for anyone, even family and friends to understand the amount of pain, hurt and sometimes embarrassment that these illnesses can cause…

Thankyou so much for your understanding Grandy

A Bearhug for you and your kindness Grandy 😀

Paul

Eagle Ray

Hello Paul,

This would be stressful to deal with while trying to manage anxiety and also process the recent grief you’ve been through. It’s quite tricky when the other person’s reality is profoundly different and they hold strong views about things like your movie collection.

I wonder if there is a way to set a boundary around what is ok for you that validates her feelings but protects you at the same time? I have heard of the sandwich method where there is a positive comment followed by a constructive feedback statement followed by a positive comment. So maybe first you could say you appreciate her concerns, you understand they’re meaningful to her and that she cares enough to express them. Then explain that at the moment it isn’t actually helpful for you as it is creating more challenges for you with anxiety and grief processing. So you would like not to receive those views from her, even though you understand they might be important to her. Then follow up with a positive comment again that you care about her and wish her well. Not knowing your sister I don’t know how well it would work, but I’ve heard of it as a way of softening critical feedback.

I’ve had some challenges with my brother who at times has really not been sensitive at all to my mental health. I’ve recently started to say no to him about certain things and become stronger about asserting a boundary around what is ok for me and what isn’t in terms of his behaviour. It seems to be working in that he has really backed off on certain insensitive and judgmental behaviours which with him at times have been a form of bullying. It’s like I got stronger on defending my territory so to speak. I didn’t even think that way before, but I’ve realised sometimes I need to defend my patch to protect my mental health. I’ve managed to do this in a calm but firm way, so I think it’s possible to keep things calm and that tends to have a sort of calming and neutralising effect on the other person, so they are not invading your safe space/boundary so to speak.

Not sure if that helps, but it’s the best I can think of based on my own experience. You could also try an internet search on unmedicated bipolar and beliefs about God and how to handle someone in that situation. It may help understanding what’s going on with your sister and you may have done that already.

Take good care Paul.

Best wishes,

ER

blondguy

hello therising...

I appreciate your support...I have tried to read your response and I dont understand where you are coming from.

You asked me a ton of valid questions yet my sister receives her messages directly from god on her Facebook account. My sister doesnt follow any religion. She doesnt hear any voices. Its a direct conduit to god.

Ive been posting alongside you for a long time. I dont understand your post as my concentration is shot after losing my mother in 2024 and my beautiful caring young girlfriend in 2022. I have studied mental health disorders for over 40 years...Mainly through necessity.

I was just posting about people that place themselves in 'God's close family' and are not religious.

I hope you are doing well rising

Paul