Leaving work....

[AnxSam]

Hi Guys, first time ever posting here so I'm a little overwhelmed with thoughts running through my head, so here it goes. Ok, so I've decided to resign from my current place of employment because it gives me really bad depression, anxiety and a generally negative outlook on life. I work in government and the type of work I do does not suit my passion as I feel out of place, I don't get the support from my fellow peer and not to mention abuse from customers. What made it difficult leaving was a family member helped me get the job originally, but it turned out to be nothing like the job described, so for almost 2 years I've been going to work so stressed, sad and generally very uneasy at a workplace that has affected my mentality so much fearing if I quit I'll disappoint them or the family because she wants me to explore the organisation. Where as i really just do not want to be working within that department at all. SO!! just recently I managed to 'man up' and decide for myself to leave. I've booked a trip with my partner for overseas to help get me back on track and spend quality time together. I have mentioned management (Just a team leader) I intend on going whether they approve leave or not. BUT I very much would rather quit on good enough terms and pursue a new career elsewhere where. I have almost 3 months before I leave... should I feel guilty about leaving or use these last few weeks planning and seeing where my life takes me, in an exciting way?

[B_Murf]

Hi Sam,

My first post. I recently quit a long term job after being in a similar situation so I thought I'd comment.

Firstly no need at all to feel guilty. 2+ years is a commendable effort! I don't think there could be any doubt you didn't give it a shot. I also don't think staying in an environment that makes you feel like that is ever going to be good for yourself, so if things can't be changed at your work I don't think you have much of an option. If there is some disappointment from family etc you can try to explain your thoughts, that may or may not work so you might just have to cop it (I often found once I've done something my family takes it better than I imagine).

Also travelling is the best. You sound like you have earned it.

My next thought is more career advice. I've found the saying "it's easier to get a job when you have a job" to be very true. It will depend on your personality, but have you've got any plans for the new career? While initial thoughts of a change is excitement (and you should run with that) I've personally found the feeling of post travel and pressure from myself for action is quite challenging. So I think anything you can do know to assist you with what you want to do next is important. Even returning to a job that isn't great may be better mentally than returning and trying to fire up a new career.

[AnxSam]

Hi B Murf

Thank You for your reply, I really enjoyed reading your thoughts and advice on my current situation.

I know for a fact that I do need to leave my current job and do what whats best for me and ensuring I'm happy. For the next three month I guess I just need to tough it out and look forward to what's to come next.

Although when I do get back and I don't have anything set that's probably the only thing that worries me.

As for leaving this job I know it won't be something I'll reject. I've seeked help from a psychologist who has supported me and understands the issues

[B_Murf]

No problem!

While 3 months seems like a long time, I found week by week it gets that little bit sweeter! For better or worse I remember my last weeks being quite stressed as I tried to finish things up, but at the same time very relieved that more and more problems became not my problems.

While my family and some friends were a little apprehensive about seeing me leave what they thought was a good job. Towards the end I started to explain my reason and after the fact they seemed happy for me.

I haven't regretted leaving at all and travelling is always what I enjoy most.

I guess my warning is because I just got back after 9 months off and I am paying the price a little, re-entering the workforce after this long off is quite challenging. So i guess if I had some leads or a clearer goal I wouldn't feel as lost at the moment. I.e I'm not sure if I should change careers, go back to a similar job, unskilled labour study, work overseas, start a business etc. I tend to move from excited and intimidated as I feel the pressure to do something! Either way it's a small price to pay! There's nothing worse than a negative job, but having a light at the end of the tunnel helps.

[AnxSam]

Hi again B Murf

Thank you again for your advice, I'm definitely looking forward to counting the days off before I finish.

I too have the same issue with family being on my back about leaving a "good job" although I don't see it as a job job as others do in my workplace.

My family doesn't really understand the issue of depression and anxiety and are more worried about own finances which is concerning.

Just today knowing it's Sunday gives me anxiety about facing my managers and work colleges whom give me no support! On the outside at work they do think I'm a happy go lucky person but on the inside nothing drags me down more than being there!

I really do hope you find your ground soon mate, nothing is wOrse than feeling lost and overwhelmed at the unknown, always stick to your guns and I'm sure work and or study will come your way

I do believe in the saying find a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life!

[B_Murf]

Thanks mate, in a few years time i'll probably look back and miss the uncertainty.

arhh yes worried about your finances, I'm not sure if it's a generational thing but some family tend to think the decision to leave a job is on a whim and a stepping stone to homelessness. Thankfully once I'd bit the bullet the mood changed from questioning to support.

I too remember be happily enjoying a free Sunday afternoon then the thought of all the crap I was going to have to deal with the next day would hit. Spent most of the afternoon trying to distract myself.

I'll let you know if I find that job I love - but too be honest I'll happily settle for something half way 😃

[AnxSam]

Oh yes, especially this generation a lot of emphases is based on someone like my age 26 to have money and wealth, whereas I do have some savings I'm lucky enough to still live at home although my parents ARE NOT understanding of my situation in the slightest which as made my relationship with them difficult.

I took some comfort just tonight in typing up my resignation letter to prepare myself to hand in ASAP!

[Blue_Jane]

Hi there

I have read this thread of exchanges and agree with everything that has been discussed between yourself and B Murf.

Have you handed in your resignation letter? If you have or you haven't it might be a good time to tell the family member who helped you get the job about what you have done/are going to do. Not for them to talk you out of it, more for them to be kept in the loop.

It is very hard when your family doesn't understand about anxiety and depression. I told my family about 18 months ago what I was dealing with but they seem to think I am better now, even though I have explained that I am living with it and that I will always suffer from anxiety.

I am curious, what is it that you are looking for in your new role? What are the positives in your current role? I ask this question as when you are going for interviews you don't want to come across as being negative to your current employer, it might be hard but best to focus on the positives!

[AnxSam]

Hi Blue Jane,

I haven't handed in my letter yet but I do have it typed up ready for my two weeks notice i just need to save up a little more till I do leave for my trip.

The current role I'm in does not give me any satisfaction at all, i work in government. I would love to get into the sporting industry as sports takes me any from all my anxiety, sadness and depression, so anything in sports is ideal.

[Blue_Jane]

How long until the holiday now?

That is great that you have a direction you want to take. Do you want to do a similar role but in the sporting industry?

Which sports in particular are you passionate about? I think knowing this will be helpful when searching for roles but also for chatting/being interviewed by potential organisations.