Knowing what anxiety actually means

[ScarlettR]

I used to have terrible anxiety about 4-5 years ago. Fortunately, since late 2016 I've handled it very well and can live life without too much worry. That said, there are some nights where I feel afraid of the future or of my current living conditions or my family's wellbeing, and I go to bed early to get some therapeutic rest and reduce the trauma.

I looked at Google's definition of anxiety: "a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome."

I noted the word "uncertain". All this time, I thought I was worrying of bad things that will come to me, whether I'm expecting it or not (homelessness and death of a loved one are the most common feelings for worry for me). But maybe my thoughts of the future are not definite, but just uncertain, and I'm dwelling on my uncertainty to the point where I coated it with pseudo-truth?

In fact, when something sad or terrible did happen in my life - and believe me, they were actually quite rare - I didn't get anxiety that I feel at night. In fact I recovered rather quickly and lived normal.

I know everyone has a different life story and reason for their anxieties, so I'm trying to pinpoint an aspect of anxiety that everyone can relate to and overcome, or at least realise the feeling of uncertainty is only daydreaming.

[PamelaR]

Hi Scarlett - welcome to our community forums

Anxiety is the pits sometimes isn't it? From my experience and what I've been reading here in the forums is - anxiety comes from different things for different people. There is a whole range of experiences that could cause anxiety. However, it may impact on some but not for other. For instances, going for a walk with a tiger at a theme park. It was a birthday present for me. I did it no worries. Loved every minute of it. Showed the photos to friends and some had a panic attack right before me. Or another example, checked shirts make me break out in a cold sweat, increase my heart rate rapidly. However, others who also have anxiety - wear checked shirts.

From my perspective it's about the experiences we've had in life that impact on our flight/fright mode. We all have a flight/fright mode - this is what sets off our 'fear'. We need this response to keep ourselves safe. It is so you get that burst of energy you need when you have to run away from an enemy or to stop yourself from falling over a ledge.

Our experiences all differ, so I would expect the fear response will differ in everyone.

I see from your other thread that you are still living at home. Maybe the thoughts of moving away are frightening. I can totally understand that. Especially when you've shared your life with someone else all this time. There are so many things you'd do together, e.g. making dinner, going shopping, watching tv. Then all of sudden, this would change. Change can be a very strong trigger for anxiety. The good news though it is manageable.

There are many good tips here in our forums. A good one is Tips for managing anxiety pinned to the top of the Anxiety forum.

Also, feel free to search and join discussions that are similar to your topic. There's a search field at the top of our webpage. Insert the keywords that interest you.

Hope some of this helps Scarlett. You're not alone. Keep reaching out if and when you want to.

Kind regards

PamelaR