Is it anxiety or depression?

[Kyra13]

Hi All

I'm a newbie to the site and seeking some clarification from those who have real life experience of anxiety and/or depression.

I have been to my GP and a psych for what they believe is depression and stress but I feel it is more an anxiety issue. It's not that I get a racing heart or classic panic attacks which is what they seem to look for as indicators of anxiety. Instead my anxiety causes a physical/mental/emotional shut down. I know I am an overthinker and a perfectionist (without EVER getting things perfect.. Lol). I place high expectations on myself especially academically and at work. I always feel like I'm underachieving and should be doing things better.

Simple things like sorting paperwork and tidying up create so much angst that I have to walk away from it as I feel like I'm going to be consumed by fear. I dread going out and meeting new people. I feel like I have no life experience worth sharing with others. I even question myself about being on the Autism spectrum or ADD because I am familiar with these conditions through my work.

Does anxiety always have to be associated with a racing heart and panic attacks or can it be a fear based? I want to improve my life but I feel trapped by this stupid fear!

Any help or advice would be appreciated.

Thanks 🌸

[Just Sara]

Hi and welcome to our caring community Kyra;

Your question about anxiety vs depression is a common one. I'm so glad you decided to come on board so you can discuss this relevant and important issue.

I've experienced both, but anxiety/panic are my main symptoms. In all honesty I'd rather it than depression any day.

I'm interested in the situation you mention of zoning out though, if I could paraphrase. This sounds like dissociation; a symptom of a previous traumatic event. I'm wondering if there's a reason you're so fastidious with prescribed activities which many of us here know can cause quite severe responses when something doesn't go to plan.

Finding a 'label' that fits isn't as important as addressing symptoms as they occur, finding what causes them and what you can do. Mild anxiety from stressful situations is normal. It's when that anxiety manifests itself in your body such as hands shaking or bouts of fear that are concerning. This is a warning sign from the central nervous system that things are escalating and to get help.

If those anxious feelings are being caused by your own expectations, then that's actually the problem, not the symptoms. Is this making sense?

As I said, I'm wondering what your parents' (or care-givers/teachers) expectations of you were when young and if it has any relevance to how you are with yourself now. This would be great to discuss with your psych and I'd be glad to also chat about it with you.

Those high expectations come from somewhere. It'd be interesting to find out where.

Hope to hear from you soon..

Kind thoughts;

Sez

[Kyra13]

Thanks Sez for your reply.

I am aware that that is my perception of my father's high expectations that cause some of the anxiety.. Esp around the academic side of things. Dad has always wanted me to go to uni but despite 4 attempts I've still not progressed past 5 units. The last time I didn't even tell him I was studying so I know the pressure is from myself, based on my perception of his expectation.

What concerns me more is the shift to anxiety over everyday activities. A simple task of sorting through paperwork for filing creates an irrational level of stress. My head knows that it is a simple task but my body just wants to shut down to avoid it. I try to break it down into small chunks and that helps. I simply don't understand my physical repsonse to a mundane task and I am beginning to stress over everything. Cooking, cleaning, making decisions, task activation.

I am currently attending dancing classes to push myself out of my comfort zone socially. I love the dancing and find it is a good social and emotional release. I am also hoping to sign up for a 4 week meditation/mindfulness course to try to learn how to release some of the anxiety and high expectations of myself but I'm socially shy so again it will be testing my comfort zone. I know I need to keep challenging myself though as I find that I am becoming more and more recluse as the years go on.

I've experienced depression before too and that is why I don't feel this is necessarily depression related. There is perhaps mild depression at the base of it.. But the anxiety is what is impacting me more.

Thank you so much for your support and for listening. It is greatly appreciated. 💐

[Just Sara]

Hi again Kyra;

Everything you've said makes perfect sense to me. Anxiety takes a path from mild to extreme if not addressed; it's a process that without early intervention will begin to affect even the slightest of activities of stress like paperwork.

The fact you've identified those responses is a credit to you. For me it took a major breakdown to understand I'd been missing the signs for a long time.

I spoke earlier about the central nervous system and adrenaline. Your body doesn't have guilt or rationale, it works as a machine dealing with each problem as it arises. That's why you don't understand reactions from your body.

When there's a constant flow of stress in your life, especially when it concerns fear, (this can be subconscious too) your adrenaline gland will pump out adrenaline to support the process, as it's supposed to.

This gland and the system that supports it becomes overworked and in my case, broke down and was damaged. Like any physical illness it needed time to heal. You're in the midst of the overworked portion of the process.

Please talk with your GP about anti anxiety medication. An anti depressant may help; in my case it didn't so I needed extra med support PRN. Once your body can rest thanks to chemical support, decisions and everyday activities become easier so working on associated psychological issues can occur.

I don't want to detract from the issues you've described either. They're important aspects of your healing process. Without understanding your physical body though, you're only addressing half of the problem.

Dance and meditation are great activities to engage in so well done. Small changes like only having one coffee a day early on will also help. Anything that increases adrenaline will probably cause your body to react.

I used to go to the gym thinking it was good for me and suffered terribly during my workouts. This was perplexing so I researched what I could do thinking it was my thoughts that were the problem; they weren't.

Increasing stress whether it's physical or emotional will trigger adrenaline to rise. Feeling scared that anxiety will hit at any time makes us even more susceptible; it's a vicious cycle. Deep breathing and mindfulness practice can make a world of difference too.

Identifying what's going on in your subconscious is also really important. These 'invisible triggers' need attention.

Kind thoughts;

Sez