I really need advice. It’s all too much.

[Tori_nawec]

It’s a long read.. but I’d appreciate anyone’s help.

Two months ago, while at work, all of a sudden I felt so short of breath, my chest/shoulders were tight and my head was spinning. no history of mental illness or really no clue what an anxiety symptoms were, i thought i was dying. I left work immediately to try and sleep it off. It didn’t get any better, so off I went to the doctor with extremely high heart rate, and I couldn’t breathe. Emergency Room it was for me. I had two ecg’s, blood tests, chest X-ray, and left with discharge papers saying “Anxiety reaction” .. the first month was HORRIBLE. I laid in bed 24 hrs a day. I hardly ate. (Lost 10kgs) I was too fragile/scared to even walk down my stairs. It’s the worst thing I’ve been through being in constant fear if something will happen to you.

i saw a psychologist. currently 3 sessions in. She is helping me to come to terms with it all. But my symptoms are very on and off and it’s so hard to deal with. My main symptom that started all of this, was my shortness of breath and something I really can’t get over, in two months, my breathing is the same, and tbh it’s becoming normal to me to not be able to breathe

I genuinely feel like my shortness of breath gives me anxiety, and I almost get anxious about getting anxiety symptoms. Sounds a little dumb.

I went back to work today for three hours. It was a STRUGGLE. And has taken me all day to feel semi ok. My coping mechanism is literally to lay in bed.

Im trying to eat and sleep better, exercise more, but I just feel so OVERWHELMED when I’m around people. Like everything is going so fast around me but I’m just, there. The shops, work, around a lot of family at a time, I just wanna go home. (I live alone)

I just want to know if anyone has a similar story with their feelings and symptoms :

- shortness of breath/ tight chest when trying to inhale deep. It’s resulted in me having pain under my left collarbone/shoulder when I take a deep breath anytime now cos I feel like I’m trying to do it all the time but I can’t help it. I just have the urge.. my breathing is the main issue for my anxious feelings!! I feel like I want to break my collarbones just to get a deep breath sometimes. (calm breathing just doesn’t do it for me?)

- dizziness, blurry eyes, dry eyes, headaches, unmotivated, tired all the time, denial, feeling like something is medically wrong still. Can’t concentrate.

I’ve also been thinking about medicine.. Maybe it’ll help me get through the day.

[Inspirational]

Hi Tori,

First of all, welcome to the Beyondblue forum!

I hear you say that you had gone through an unknown emergency, in which you thought that something was going to happen, to you personally.

It is a pretty common reaction to have when you first think that you are experiencing chest/ shoulder tightness, dizziness etc.

How has it been with your clinical psychologist working alongside you? I hope that you are really getting the support that you need in every step of the way and leading on. You deserve to have the ability/ capability to do and work things out without having anxiety interfering in your life. I honestly do hope that things really do pull together and work out well for you.

Thank you

[Tori_nawec]

I’ve just had a rough time with doctors this whole time not supporting me or believing me. I never had a regular gp so I was kinda starting from scratch when this first happened to me.

this gp that gave me medicine has no understanding, she gave me a month off when I first went to the doctor after she gave me my mental health plan, and then following that I asked for another 3 weeks off which she gave hesitatingly, and now she refuses to give me anything as she says that if she gives me time off it’s going to make me worse sitting at home doing nothing.

I don’t articulate myself very well because I’m always alone on appointments and I’m super anxious. But she just doesn’t understand. I seen another doctor also but I have to go to this doctor since she gave me my mental health plan and my pysch sent her my assessment addressed to her.

im anxious about medicine in general and I’ve seen the side effects and it’s not something I want. I just don’t understand why it’s so hard for them to give me the time off I need, if I’ve had to quit my job why would I want to go and apply for jobs? Seems so silly to me ! She basically told me I’m chosing not to go to work. So I guess from here when I move I will just have to go and apply for the jobs.

Sorry just a vent!

[Tori_nawec]

Thanks for that,

i have had 5 sessions so far with my psychologist so she has been helping me.

but as I understand it’s a long journey.. trying my best.

appreciate it

[Doolhof]

Hi Tori nawec,

There have been times when I have not been able to articulate how I am feeling tot he Dr so I write it all down before I attend my appointment and hand the paper tot he Dr to read.

Have you been able to explain to Centrelink just how bad you are feeling? Are you able to request assistance from a disability service?

It is my understanding that Drs are only able to provide so many months of exemption per year, once you reach that quota there is little that can be done for you.

Has your Dr explained the medication to you? Have they given you information sheets? If not there is information on the internet or the chemist may be able to assist you as well. Ask the Dr about anything you are unsure of.

It can be tough having to fulfil Centrelink requirements when you don't feel up to it. It became a real burden for me, so I needed to change my thinking around it all and try my best to not allow it all to overwhelm me.

Hope you are able to find some positives each day so you have a sense of hope.

Cheers from Dools

[Inspirational]

Hi Tori,

That's not a problem at all.

It's really good to know that you have a psychologist who really is helping you with your anxiety.

Sometimes people who experience anxiety feel like that they are out of control and are unsure of what is going on with themselves, but I can reassure you that things will get a lot better and well for you with all your supports around you.

You've got this, Tori!

Keep fighting as you have the strengths to get to where you want to be.

You have clearly been on a long journey, having to deal with anxiety for a while, so clearly this shows how strong you are in dealing with your personal matters/ concerns 🙂