I feel like a basket case - feel like I will not be able to cope in any job or uni course

[MisterM]

I made a post somewhere a few weeks ago about considering nursing as a career.
After deep consideration, I don't think night shift work would be good for managing my depression and anxiety.
I am very sleep sensitive. Plus I am not keen on other things that come with the job of nursing.

I have also had teaching in mind for a while, I almost enrolled over a year ago.
After talking to teachers I know I am very keen to pursue this career. I will need to go back to uni obviously.

I just worry that my mental health will prevent me from being able to fulfill my studies in a teaching degree.
Will I be suitable to teach after graduating?
I am filled with fear, doubt and uncertainty.

Every job I have considered I see myself as not suitable, I feel like a loser, a failure, a basket case.
A voice in my head tells me I cannot do that job and I picture family members laughing at me for considering such jobs such as  when I considered becoming a police officer (I was rejected in the recruitment process due to my mental health history).
My mum laughed when I told her I wanted to be a police officer. I can only imagine what my sister was saying behind my back as she sees me as a weak little mouse.

My sister is a teacher and she has often told me such and such career is not for me as I am too shy, not confident enough, a mute, can't shake hands firmly. When I was studying marketing she put me down and caused me to cry.

I feel like the biggest useless thing in the world, a joke, what am I good for? Being a cleaner in a shopping centre?
I've tried a trade (electrician) and had my dad and brother in law say that isn't for me as I am not a physical type, I dropped out of a pre apprenticeship course in tafe as I realised I was struggling compared to others.

I was too weak, shy, not confident for real estate, got bullied then fired for not gelling with the team.
I was too slow and clumsy, uncoordinated to be a cafe worker, I worked as a waiter and kept getting told off for being slow but I couldn't go any faster, and I spilled drinks as I couldn't balance them on the tray as I served, so embarrassing to smash glasses and spill drinks on customer's tables. I got fired in the end after not managing to pick up the pace.

I often struggled in the corporate world, I didn't know what I was doing and got treated like crap when approaching others as part of my job.

I just feel like I am not fit to work in any job that I am meant to be an unemployed welfare recipient for life.

[Durras]

High Mr M

I hear you loud and clear with every single word.

I too feel like a complete failure and not good for anything any job or any place in community.

My parents ALWAYS put me down, you won't succeed in that, your not a study person, you won't be able to handle doing that, you don't have the right personality for that. they basically told me I am only good for pumping petrol or cleaning in the mall.

I have no confidence, no self-esteem and no self belief. I can't handle talking with people face to face yet I worked in a pub, but I looked at all patrons as ( I know this sounds so horrible and nasty of me) no hopers, losers as it was always the same people getting drunk and disorderly they who had no direction and end up with nothing in their lives but that was how I got through my position and work and made myself feel better. Yeah I know it was wrong of me.

I guess I am now paying the price and tables have turned, I'm the looser, no hoper.

I just wish I knew where I do belong.

Sorry I haven't been able to give any positive support, Want you to know I understand where your coming from.

Hugs

Durras

[Bluey_moon]

Hi Mister M,

you sound like you really battle with self confidence, and don't have a lot of support, which is a terrible shame! 

What I do know though is you sound like a genuinely nice kind person! 

I have an idea, write any jobs you are interested in! Then write a list, list all the things you think you might struggle with, then for every negative I want you to write something positive, all the things you could bring to the job! 

Also have you considered volunteer work? A way to try different things! 

Chin up! You don't need to listen to the negative comments from other people! If they aren't helpful comments then ignore them! 

[Simona]

Hello MisterM   : )

I really hope the music thing takes off for you and brings in some $$. My son (17) is doing the same and releasing his work on Soundcloud and Bandcamp.  He makes his own experimental mix (Vapor Wave).    Also he is in into art and design ( his own interest outside of school) and he has some pretty cool t shirt designs in their early stages.  He goes away every summer but returns for school

I don't think you are a basket case at all.   My son;  he's a lot like you in that he is softly spoken and lives for creating music and being alone and working on his next track.  When I asked him some years ago what he wants to be after leaving school he just said " Happy Mum".  He tells me to tell you to 'stop listening to your mother'.    ( he went quiet on the ph when I told him of the holy water in your room)

He also told me to tell you of a place called "Sub Reddit" where creative artists can share their work.   And he said that collaborating with other's is a good way to put your name out there.    He suggests sending your demos to online music labels too.

Some people are best working for themselves or alone at home/studio.  I certainly function best alone. I have tried the office/the café but not for me.     Too much noise/traffic. Noise really gets to me. I like classical music in car for relaxing 

Ps: he said don't give up playing Live.   Expose yourself as much as you can to get more followers!!

[Elea]

Hi MisterM

 I'm not sure what I can say to help as I feel like I'm a very similar situation. I've dropped out of 3 different Uni courses because I couldn't deal with the stress, and now I'm really struggling in my nursing degree. I just want you to know that you aren't alone in what you're feeling. 

All the best, Elea

[MisterM]

Hi Durras,

Thank you for sharing your story, it sucks when those that are meant to build us up tear us down before we ever got built up.

[MisterM]

Hi Bluey moon,

Thank you for replying and for the tips.
Yeah I have considered volunteering just to keep me busy whilst I am unemployed.
I like to think I am a kind nice person, thank you, but when the anger gets the better of me I have done things that make me think I am not.

[White_Rose]

Hello Mr M

What a great reply from Simona and so positive. You may well be better off working for yourself. No matter how good you are at a job, if interacting with others makes you feel ill you are better off elsewhere.

I agree with Simona's son, stop listening to your mom, and your sister and anyone else who puts you down. These are the people who are the useless ones. It seems to me they have issues about confidence since they have such a need to denigrate you.

You are a bloke with great talents looking for a place to showcase them. If any of the careers you have listed are really what you want, then go for them. Start by completing the training/uni and let the future unfold. I think you will find your confidence increases as you successfully complete each subject. Success breeds success I am told. I went to uni in my 50s and I was terrified. What business did I have to be competing with the youngsters fresh out of school. Well I stayed and frequently did a great deal better than these school leavers. Why? I had a goal, a reason for my studies. The others were simply going along the road with no real idea of what they wanted and little ambition.

You have heaps of great reasons to succeed, so this is what will happen. Try not to discuss it with your family. I told my mother I had gone to uni and she was completely disinterested. My sister wanted to know why I was doing it because "it's not like it will do you any good". This was after I completed my undergraduate degree and was working on a masters. Do it to please yourself.

Set one goal to be accepted into uni. Then set the next to successfully complete the first semester and take it from there. One step at a time my friend.

Mary

[MisterM]

Hi Simona,

Thank you for replying and for your well wishes regarding the music.
I have lost the desire to do anything music related in the last month.
I can't bring myself to perform at open mic nights. I picked up my guitar, recorded some ideas on guitar but I feel it ain't good and I don't have anyting to write lyrically. I am very limited in my guitar playing and singing and writing skills, I just feel like I am wasting my time and that music won't amount to nothing. I have demos published on Soundcloud/Bandcamp.
Tell your son I said a big thank you for his kind words and suggestions.
Yeah I have thought about submitting my demos to record companies, I will check out sub reddit.

[MisterM]

Hi Elea,

Thank you for your reply.
I hope things get better for you, hugs.
It seems we struggle to cope with stress, part of our condition hey.
I am stressing trying to figure out how to move out, it seems like I won't be able to afford it, plus there is the stress of study. Too much stress.