how do you get help when you can't afford to?

[Gemair]

I'm struggling at the moment! My husbands business is not financially viable but yet he won't do anything to improve the situation - although he does do work and he does help out, so I'm not trying to have a go - but financially it is not working.

For the last few months, we have struggled to pay the mortgage and have gone on a strict budget where food and things are concerned. My hair is even showing the grey as we can't afford what we used to. I can't afford to see our doctor or get help, but things have got to a really bad stage. I even broke down in the supermarket yesterday (as my husband told me about another bill that had come in over the phone). I am not sure how to fix things financially, but my anxiety levels are at a real high and I know that I am not coping but most of the time I put on a smile and mask everything that is going on.

I have two young kids who I try to not let see me in breakdown mode, but the truth is I'm falling apart. I still work four days a week and I can't afford to give this up and our children still do after school sport although we even cut this back this year.

How do you get help when you can't afford to?? the last time I was at my doctors they said that there weren't any help that were free (I think I have used my medicare free limit - I have had PTSD from childhood goings on), but I haven't been like I am for a very long time.

[monkey_magic]

Hi there & welcome to BB,

It does sound difficult. I'm in solutions mode so I'll say what I've thought about & c what u think.

Husband gets a job and sells the business.

This is what I did when I had no money. I went to churches & salvos for food. You'll save there. Centrelink can also usually ( in my area maybe yours) give you info about where to get free or cheap food.

I swapped retail shopping for Vinnie's/ Salvo's clothes shopping.

Instead of hairdressers I dyed my own hair ( can cost $9-$20)

I commend you on keeping the family afloat, but I think the easiest way would be for hubby to go back to a job, he prob doesn't want to though. Can he get a centrelink payment since the business isn't doing very well?

Just hope you can find ways of saving $$$. I had no choice at one stage. Amazing how resourceful you can be.

Feel free to keep chatting 🙂

[blondguy]

Hi Gemair

Welcome to the forums and thankyou for having the courage to post too!

Its taken a lot of strength for you to post especially with being as strong for your children as you are.

Im sorry that your husband isnt doing as well as he (probably) wished he would

I am ex corporate and used to have chronic anxiety and now followed by depression. I was flat broke years ago and couldnt afford any help so I asked for help from my council and they sent out a mental health worker to help me for free.....and a social worker to help me with my issues

Your GP should also be able to point you in the right direction with no charge counseling....it is available

There are many kind people on the forums that can be here for you too Gemair

my kind thoughts for you in this difficult time

Paul

[Just Sara]

Hi and welcome Gemair;

You poor woman; I'm so glad you came here to find support. You're in a difficult situation to be sure, so I hope I can give you ideas that help link you up with some solutions.

With your ptsd; this forum has many individuals from your situation including me. (Childhood going's on) I've found, as have others, writing on here to purge oneself of grief etc, also helps others, and can be some of the best counselling the community has to offer...for 'free'. Please be assured we're very caring people, and want what's best for you and your family.

Your mortgage is your biggest concern, so it should be addressed first. Making an appt with your lender to discuss emergency options is a good place to start. Please don't leave this until the last moment. As long as you inform them of what's happening, they'll do their best to help. This may include re-mortgaging over a longer period to reduce payments, or interest only payments until things improve.

Centrelink or your nearest Family and Community Services office can arrange a meeting with a financial planner. This service is free for families who're struggling. They can help liaise with the bank on your behalf to negotiate mortgage payment options.

Consolidating bills can be done thru your mortgage as well. This is another option the financial planner can help with.

Desperate times call for desperate measures; when I was struggling as a single mum, I went to my butcher and asked if I could clean up for him each day for my weekly meat. It was a humiliating decision, but necessary. He didn't have work, but gave me two weeks meat for free due to my courage. A grocer or butcher in your area may go along with these terms.

Finding or starting a local Co-Op (community options) would also connect you with people in similar situations. This means swapping goods/services you and others need. Eg...cleaning someone's oven, if they cut/dye your hair. You get the idea yeah?

This is really old school, but a life saver if it can be done.

I'm sure there's lots of ideas people have to encourage and support you on here. Please stay around. You're so courageous; chin up ok.

I wish you and your family well.

All my best;

Sara

[alwayswinning]

You can go to the doctors and ask for a mental health plan. I'm not sure if its the same in every state in Australia you can get a mental health plan that offers 10 sessions I believe for free to see a professional. I think its great that you are wanting help and see that you need it. I also think its amazing that you showed the initiative to come to this site.