Horrible physical symptoms

[kaykay92]

Hello everyone and thank you in advance for reading,

I'm 24 years old and have had issues with both depression and anxiety from the time I was a teenager but was able to, for the most part, manage my symptoms through diet/exercise, meditation and seeing a naturopath/taking supplements. After feeling quite low last year I decided to give an antidepressant a try, and took it for about 8 months before I convincing myself I didn't need it and could handle things in a natural way. So with the help of my GP, I weaned off over a longer period.

That was about 3.5 months ago and since then my symptoms have gotten worse and worse, to the point that they are far worse than even before I decided to take the drugs.. Now my main issue is anxiety, I've been suffering panic attacks for the first time in my life and feel horrible physically. I have constant headaches, dizziness, upset stomach, feel very weak and unable to exercise how I previously had been. Concentrating at school feels impossible where it never has been an issue for me. My chest is constantly tight (like someone standing on it) my heart races, and I now have what is considered high blood pressure for my age, which deeply saddens. I believe I've developed "health anxiety" and am constantly fearing something is wrong with me, especially my heart and have been going to the doctors almost every week. They say all the above can be chalked up to anxiety because all tests (blood, ECG) are normal. I'm doing my best to keep it together but it truly feels like my body is falling apart. Apart from the health anxiety I do not "think" anxiously... so sometimes it feels like my body is the one with the problem, but I know the mind and body are deeply connected. Even when I feel excited to go to class, my body reacts in these terrible ways, so its awfully confusing.

I've been seeing a great CBT therapist for the past month and that has been helpful, but I do feel I need something more because of these physical symptoms.

My doctors have recommended I begin antidepressants once again and I have resisted but now feel that perhaps I should as I cannot continue feeling this way and truly believe I have exhausted all other options. I have some fear regarding starting them, despite being on them in the past, and feel somewhat shameful of needing them which I know is stupid.

I'm curious if others have experienced similar, nearly 24/7, symptoms and if they've chosen antidepressants to help with them? Thank you!

[blondguy]

Hi KayKay92

Welcome to the forums and good on you for having the courage to post such a great thread too!

I understand your symptoms as I had exactly the same awful feelings in my 20's...I was really stuck. Kudos to you for being proactive and having a good counselor that has been helping you

I also resisted the antidepressants as I was also ashamed thinking I was weak for taking them. These physical symptoms are very common with anxiety. Our adrenaline gland is pumping so hard we will get the heart thumping...the tight breathing...the dizziness....and even (sorry) the bowel movements working overtime.

You thoughts about the antidepressants are not stupid in any way. I have also been anti meds too except when my anxiety symptoms started to effect my well being after 13 years of the same symptoms you have.

The meds are never a fix all.....they do provide with us though with a platform on which we can recover more effectively using all the CBT and coping mechanisms available to us.

Just for my own health my SSRI's reduced my anxiety by approx 80% in the first few weeks....and then the therapy I was getting really kicked in and helped reduce the awful physical symptoms of this horrible disorder

I dont want to be a pain in any shape or form Kaykay but your doctors are spot on with taking the AD's. You can always start on a tiny dosage and see how you go under the supervision of your GP's. You have so much to gain and so little to lose by doing so....(just my opinion as a sufferer of the same symptoms)

Whatever you choose to do is your call kaykay, no problem there at all. Your quality of life and having some peace in your life is paramount at this stage. I wasted 13 years of my life refusing meds thinking I could self heal. I was so wrong.

The earlier anxiety is treated the better you will heal

If I can say that you are an amazing person for being so proactive with your health and having such a great team of health professionals to help you.

There are many super gentle people on the forums that can be here for you. There is also no judgement here, only dedicated support from other people that are going through similar as you are.

My Kindest thoughts for you kaykay

Paul

[BballJ]

Hi kaykay92,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

I can relate on many levels to what you are saying, I developed anxiety in my late teens and all through my 20's, it really ramped up during my early 20's and I had similar health anxiety related symptoms and my concern was also my heart. I always felt like I was going to have a heart attack, I would get blood tests a fair bit thinking if something was wrong with my heart, it would show up in a blood test. At this time I didn't actually know it was anxiety related. Once I learnt the chest pains and constant fear were related to my anxiety, it actually made me feel better. I have dealt with numerous health anxiety cases as well after this but since I got my anxiety somewhat under control it has been easier. It is great that you are currently seeing a therapist and doing CBT, you really are doing all the right things to come out from under this anxiety and I am saying that you can because I have been there myself. One thing I cannot relate with is the antidepressants as I took them briefly but didn't like taking them so stopped pretty early after a couple of days. I was worried about the side effects but it is not to say they do not work as many people on these forums have found they help and one thing I understand about them is that not every type will agree with your body so finding the right one with the help of your GP is important. I learnt to just keep talking about my anxiety and with the help of my psychologist I did get it under control. The important thing to remember is you can live with anxiety and not let it take over your life.

Please, post back as much as you like, I am always happy to talk.

My best for you,

Jay

[MsPurple]

Hi kay and welcome to the forums

Your story sounds very similar to myself. I have been off and on medications a few times (and I am only 26!) I stopped abruptly without the dr advice which I do not recommend. I did this because I moved towns and I wasn't sure how to bring up my medication to a new dr. I didn't have an actual diagnosis then, and I didn't want to get one so I just had to stop taking my meds as I didn't want to travel to get a prescription. Sorry going off track

When I was official diagnosed with GAD I went and got help because of my physical symptoms. Yes I had depression and anxiety for as long as I remember, but that was nothing compared to when I was diagnosed. I had symptoms similar to yours. I also felt tightness in my throat, vivid disturbing dreams, constant feeling of light headedness etc. For me I had to go on medication. The dr highly suggested it and I just wanted the symptoms to go away, I was happy to do anything. I also had to under go therapy. I find that this worked better than my past experience of just getting meds without therapy. Medication is a tool, some need it, and some done, but studies show it is more beneficial with some therapy (at lease initially), because you need to get an understanding of your condition and develop strategies of how to cope with it.

When I was initial diagnosed with GAD my mental health nurse suggested I try meditation. I didn't think this would work but I promised I would try it for at least a week. Have you given this a go? I used a free app called 'Calm' (I have also heard headspace and smiling minds are good meditation apps). I used this every day for a week before bed (this was when my racing mind would keep me away). I found it helped me reduce my anxiety as I was in the moment and it also helped me sleep as my mind was more quiet. The first night I did it I didn't think it would work, and after a week I understood it and how helpful it can be, especially when anxiety is flaring up.

I just want you to know that you are not alone. People on the forums can really relate to you. I try an describe my anxiety and mental health like the weather. It maybe fine one day then black clouds come then it can be storming for a few days. You don't have to walk in the rain and struggle with the cold, you can use tools to help such as a rain coat and umbrella (e.g. dr, psych etc)

Hope this helps. If possible please pop back in to check in

MP

[kaykay92]

Thank you so much for your replies guys, it feels amazing to know there are others who have/are experiencing similar things and that I'm not in fact loosing my mind 🙂

I've been having episodes similar to panic attacks nearly everyday and have finals at uni now over the next 3 weeks. I'm doubting whether I can even get through them at this point. I decided to wait until after I break for uni to begin the AD's in case I got bad side effects, but now I'm almost wishing I began earlier as I feel so awful and it feels nearly impossible to sit down and do my assignments/study.. I've been shaking badly and had to get up and vomit (sorry) earlier, so things feel very tough.. it s truly amazing how your body can react this strongly.

I did a lot of yoga, meditated and saw my therapist today so I was convinced I would have a productive afternoon but that doesn't seem to be the case. I'll try my best to get through these next couple of weeks and then no doubt will need to begin some sort of antidepressants as it feels like daily torture being in body at this point, at risk of sounding dramatic.

Thank you so much again for your response all. I hope you're having a nice day and sending you all virtual hugs!

[BballJ]

Hi kaykay92,

I understand you want to hold off on taking the anti depressants but I would recommend speaking to your GP about the symptoms you are currently dealing with however just to make sure you are ok.

My best,

Jay