Health anxiety

[Beautiful]

A year later I’m still have health anxiety issues. I’ve resorted to changing drs as I’m becoming paranoid my usual dr will think I’m crazy...

I have all the symptoms of ovarian cancer, my two scans showed conflicting diagnosis, the first not showing anything clearly, the second scan I was told everything looked good, but the he questioned me about whether I had a follow up appointment with my dr, I said yes but didn’t go back for results because the gynaecologist told me everything looked fine. I also figured if there was anything untoward my dr would contact me.

my symptoms have worsened, and I’m almost positive I’m dying! Waiting for blood and urine tests and the anxiety is killing me. How many times can one ring their therapist!? On top of the anxiety I’m extremely uncomfortable and exhausted but can’t sleep.
Any advice would be appreciated

[White_Rose]

Dear Beautiful

Welcome to the forum and thank you for telling us your story. It can take a great deal of courage to do this.

Ovarian cancer is not a nice illness to have. I am curious why you did not go back to your GP after seeing the consultant. I know the consultant gave you the results but there is more to it than that. Your GP can explain what is happening in your body, which the consultant may have already done, but on a different level. I know from my own experience that specialists discuss these matters with the patient in a different manner to a GP.

I also wonder why your GP would contact you if the test results were clear. If the specialist said everything looked fine it does not mean the situation will stay the same. You are experiencing worsening symptoms which would have me back at my GP in a flash. In fact my GP used to send me for tests every year because my sister died from ovarian cancer.

Keeping the communication open between you and your GP is important and this is really your responsibility. If your GP had to contact all his/her patients for follow up they would not have time to do their doctoring. I urge you to see your GP and make a plan about regular check ups, worsening symptoms and anything else that is affecting you.

It's also important to talk about whether you are dying or not. I am unsure if this worries you or not but I do know that if you do have ovarian cancer it will get quite painful without treatment. Waiting until the last minute and being in huge amounts of pain may mean there will be no cure for you. And this is with a condition where cures are not as common as other cancers.

I see you are waiting for test results. Who organised these? Your GP or specialist? It can be hard waiting for test results. Perhaps you need to check with the doctor who prescribed them. I do know about cancer as I have a cancer which is incurable. It's still my job to talk to the specialist every four weeks and to keep my GP informed as some of medications could impact on any he may wish to prescribe for various reasons.

Have you discussed your belief you are dying with your therapist? This is an important topic to discuss. It's also important to discuss this with your GP and specialist. You say you are uncomfortable and tired. Have you talked to your GP about alleviating this? May be very useful.

Mary

[Beautiful]

Hi Mary, Firstly I’m sorry to hear about your sister, also with what you’re going through, and thanks for your advice! It probably was naive of me to assume when the specialist said ‘all good’, I didn’t think there was a reason to go back for results, but again ‘naive’ assumed if there was anything to worry about that the drs surgery would call me in. Something I’m regretting now, but trying to follow up those said results plus recent test results. Waiting is the worst!
Yes I have spoken with my therapist on my fear of dying, it’s something I’ll always be working on as it’s the reason for my anxiety....I’ve come to terms it will always be that way, I just want to learn how to cope and have better strategies for getting through anxious times.

Many thanks!

Cathy

[White_Rose]

Hello Cathy

Thank you for your good wishes. I have no real fears about dying as I believe I know what will happen then. That does not mean I am keen to die by any means. I am quite determined to live to ripe old age and see my great grandchildren. It does make it a bit easier for me. My MH GP (I have two GPs) will talk to me about the physical process of dying and I wonder if having a chat with your GP may help you. And of course if you want to talk about the spiritual side of life and death there are those who can help.

Anxiety is such a tough nut to crack. I think of it as the Black Dog.There is a series of three books about anxiety and panic by Bev Aisbett. The books are Living with IT, Living IT up, Letting IT go. IT of course is anxiety. They are small paperbacks and each would take less than an hour to read including the hilarious cartoon pictures. The author does not pull punches as she is an anxiety survivor but the books are written in a sensitive, albeit amusing, style. I found them very helpful. There is also an excellent book called Taming the Black Dog by the same author. This talks about depression but I have found anxiety and depression tend to go together.

Finding and using resources is a great help. It does help us to focus on more than one aspect of our mental health, hopefully a more positive one. Interestingly this was part of the conversation I had with my GP last week. What other ways are there to look at what has happened to me. In this instance we were talking about a huge trauma I experienced a few years ago and the outcome of the person being charged with a criminal offence. I feel I had no justice and my GP agrees but wants me to focus on how I can better manage this instead of being constantly overwhelmed.

It's hard to do but as I cannot change the past the best option is to work on managing the whole event and my future without falling apart. This is something I have done several times and it's not a good place to be. So some work ahead for me in a very practical manner. I won't say I am looking forward to it but then I cannot continue as I am so it's time to get working.

Mary