Hi there... My contact with Beyondblue via Facebook was last night - looking at New Access. After worrying (yes I'm a worrier) about my health & family history of heart disease I went to the Doctor. The first set-back was high cholesterol - a hereditary issue. OK, I'm fine with taking that, but that got me thinking (yes, thinking can be a problem - those negative unrealistic thoughts), am I going to die young of heart disease... like my father did at 61 ...then, other thoughts come into my mind (negative of course!), and well, one thing leads to another a full blown panic attack happens! OMG, is this my heart? LOL I am actually laughing out loud, because I'm not in that state of panic right at the minute, but it's not funny at the time, it is TERRIFYING! I then buy a blood pressure monitor a few months back and nearly every time I take it I'm nearly in a state of panic, so yep, you guessed it, blood pressure is high... so again one negative thought after the other and I'm in another full blown panic attack situation. Hehe (I'm lol'ing again) - at myself 😉 Anyhow so a couple of weeks ago I get a 24 hour blood pressure monitor fitted, because the Doctor *thinks* I might have white coat syndrome (clever Doctor!). Everytime I feel that BP monitor squeezing my arm, at first, I panic. I get sick of sitting around doing this, so I get up and do some gardening, walk, keep myself busy. 10000 steps on my fitbit & more that day! Go to bed and sleep, wake up get the thing off. Wait 2 weeks for the diagnosis and in those 2 weeks I was an absolute mess!!! Convinced at any second I was going to "pop off". I even got my Doc to prescribe me the lowest dose of BP medication and then came home and took 1/2 a tablet (yeah, I don't like taking pills), and measure my BP on my machine. It was LOW 90/60 ...very low. So I wait it out and go to the Doctor for my results. Basket case at the Doctor's, (inside - on the outside I looked calmish) hoping no one noticed, only to be told my BP on average was NORMAL with White Coat effect present. So then with great advice from the Doc and my husband, "maybe it's time to get a little bit of help" is my first step. I've had panic disorder on & off all my life and have sought help, first time at 17, and hopefully this time now at 51, I can get the right tools to handle what comes. Like driving into tunnels in peak hour (WORST EVER FEAR), over high bridges & other places & fears. First appointment Monday! Wish me luck!
