Feeling sad/worthless

[Mina19]

Hi people,
I hope this doesn’t sound stupid. I have been diagnosed with severe anxiety, ptsd and panic disorder but in the last year or so I’ve been doing pretty well and if I didn’t tell anyone I had these mental illnesses they’d have no idea. However since ages ago going to the city gives me a huge panic attack and I feel like I’m gonna be sick. I don’t have agoraphobia and love going places in the suburbs (pretty much everything is around here) but when I told someone about how I feel about the city they laughed at me and called me stupid. Honestly I really have no need to be there as I said everything is located pretty much in the suburban area I live. Is this normal. Sorry for the long post, but I’m just feeling horrible after they said that.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Mina,

I am really sorry that person laughed at you and called you stupid…that is so disrespectful and not at all true…you are not stupid….I can relate to your anxiety going into the city…I live in a tiny village in central west NSW and when I need to go into the main shopping centre…which has under 5 thousand residents I get so much anxiety that I have had panic attacks while shopping for groceries….I think that for people who struggle with anxiety it could be normal…..I also have severe anxiety, PTSD along with depression….people who haven’t experienced these mental health diagnosis’s can’t relate nor know how hard it is for us….

You have nothing to feel horrible about…you are doing the best you can…and that’s all anyone can do….by going into the city, your actually doing a bit of exposure therapy….which can be helpful…in small doses….

Maybe if you go into the city, if possible take a good friend with you, so you have someone to talk to, to help distract you from your anxiety and anxious thoughts…

You are not alone with what your going through….

My kindest thoughts with my care…Dear Mina…

Grandy..

[Beeee]

Hi Mina19,

I'm heartbroken to hear that someone could react in such a way after you revealed a deep fear of yours. Having fears is completely normal and everyone's fears look different. Perhaps this person just didn't know how to react to hearing this or didn't understand how much it might hurt you. But their comments are not a true reflection of you. 

Personally, I also often find going into the city to cause me anxiety. It's always busy, there's a lot of people around and most places are unfamiliar, it's definitely normal to not feel comfortable going to the city. Further, if you have no need to go then this is not something you necessarily need to overcome. 

With everything else you have been working on such as your anxiety, PTSD and panic disorder, I get the impression that you are a very capable person and I hope you will focus on your many, many positives instead of one untrue and insensitive comment made by someone else.

Best wishes,

Beeee

[Izbee]

Hi Mina19, I’m new here so I hope you don’t mind me replying. I just wanted to say that I also have severe anxiety about certain situations where there are a lot of people around (but like you, I don’t have agoraphobia) and it can be hard to explain to people. I think it’s horrible that the person you shared your feelings with was so insensitive and unkind - but their reaction is no reflection on you whatsoever - it’s about them. Also, they’re totally and absolutely wrong - having a fear of something isn’t the slightest bit stupid - it’s human and normal. From what you say, you’ve coped with your mental illnesses incredibly well - you must have worked so hard and you deserve to feel proud of what you’ve achieved. I know from experience that severe anxiety and PTSD are a tough gig! I wondered if planning a really brief trip to the city with a trusted friend, on a day you’re feeling pretty ok, would help? As someone else said, a little bit of exposure therapy can sometimes be good. At any rate, I wish you the very best and I hope you have a wonderful day!

Izbee

[Mark Z.]

Hi Mina19,

Thanks for sharing your story.

And obviously, the answer is NO, you're NOT stupid at all. I think everyone here would agree with me.

Instead, people who laughed at you are ignorant, impolite, and inappropriate.

Everyone has the right to choose the way how they live, you made the choice that suits you, that's it. 

However you need to keep in mind that since your past trauma was triggered by inappropriate language this time, it might be triggered again by other matters at some point in the future. If it happens, you will need someone you can reply on to talk to, your family or your close friends who are caring and can support you. Or come back here to share your story, we'll be listening and will be happy to help.

Hope everything will be better and better.

Mark

[jaz28]

Hi Mina19,

I am sorry you experience these mental health struggles, it must be very hard. I am glad to hear you are doing well though! I am also sorry someone called you "stupid" about your anxiety over the city - that is not okay, but it also just highlights the invisibility of mental illness. Like you said - people would not know you had a mental illness if you didn't tell them. Invisible illness and disability are hard for able-minded and bodied people to understand as they can't see them! The person you told may just be misinformed about anxiety, which is quite common. Do not feel horrible, people often dismiss things they do not understand. It might be worth reminding the person that the anxiety you feel is very debilitating and scary and that it is not a joke. Or, this person isn't someone you want around! You need people who understand you and support you in your circle. However, most people make comments like that just because they do not understand it and do not think they are being insensitive.

I am sorry this happened - have you seen your doctor or psychologist about the anxiety? They might be able to help you.

All the best,

Jaz xx