Feeling like I will never accomplish anything

[Aussie.Girl]

Hi, Some of you may remember my post asking if I should quit my job. I haven't (yet), but have had a talk with my boss who reluctantly agreed to reduce my workload.

That has been a relief, but I still feel 'stuck' and overwhelmed and I'm unsure what to do about it. 

To put it briefly, I have always felt like I'm constantly 'running out of time' and will never be able to accomplish all the things I want to do in life.

To a certain extent I think this is normal, but I also know it's not something I should be obsessing over all the time. 

I am in my mid 20's and feel like I have already missed out on so much.

I know there is no rule against doing things at an older age, but I just feel like I should have accomplished /something/ by now. 

Most people my age seem to be getting married, buying houses, having children etc and I've still never dated anyone, and there is no way I will ever be able to afford a house. Idk if I even want kids, but I feel like I have to decide soon or the decision will be made for me.

I didn't finish uni (despite excellent marks, I hated it so I dropped out), and I don't have a dream job to work towards because my ideal job is to not work at all. 

I guess I just feel like time is going so fast and I have very little to show for it. 

I just want to escape my responsibilities for a while. I'm one of those weird people who enjoyed lockdown because I finally had time to do things I wanted to do.

Unfortunately due to circumstances beyond my control even being at home now means being 'switched on' & responsible all the time. 

I don't want to go into detail but I think part of my anxiety is from knowing that no one is guaranteed a long and healthy life, and I feel like I am wasting my time as a young and healthy adult because the things I want from life are perpetually out of my reach (eg owning a house).

I need a break, but I don't know if that's even possible. I feel like I will be 50-80 years old before I can have any freedom to pursue friendships or hobbies and by then I could be too old/sick to enjoy it.

Sorry for the long post, hopefully it makes some sense. Any advise is appreciated, thank you. 

[Flop]

Hey AussieGirl,

I may be a bit out of my element here but I understand many of your concerns. My advice is to try not to compare yourself to others, you're equal to everyone else your brain is telling you that you aren't. We're all just people.

You're only young, a lot of people our age (I'm 22) struggle with what you're going through right now, and I relate too. Not having anything to show, yeah I feel that. I've not worked, I want too, but anxiety makes it a process that I'm working up towards. I'm sure you've built your way up to where you are now and that's something to be proud of. 

Maybe if you could get some time off to relax it'll ease a lot of your stress, I know you'd dread going back but you can't be feeling like you're working over time every time you have to go in. If you've already tried this, disregard. It's nice that some of your work load has been eased and I hope that's helping you feel a bit better.

Not being able to relax at home definitely sucks, although you didn't go into detail I hope all is well. Still try and give yourself some time to wind down, maybe an episode of a TV series or something similar, trust me, you've earned it. More if you're feeling like it.

You're putting way too much pressure on yourself, to me it sounds like you're doing really great. I know it's a crumby suggestion that you hear no matter what you say on the internet, but if you simply can't relax or stop this dread, I feel as though therapy would help you in particular because you could unload all your stresses and be walked through your feelings and thoughts as you talk about them. I personally don't go, but I think it'd be really helpful for anyone, including myself.

Lastly, life isn't passing you by, you're living it each and every day. You'll have time for friendships, relationships and everything else you desire I promise you. I want to emphasize that everyone feels this way from time to time, you aren't alone.

I hope this response is helpful in any way, best wishes. 🙂