Derealization and anxiety/depression disorder, the 'scary' anxiety infliction, but it can be managed.

[sim777]

I've had anxiety/panic disorder/depression for over 45 years with Dearealization, I'm 59. It's a scary experience that can last for minutes, hours or months. Sadly, it is under reported in the media and the general population has no idea of how debilitating this condition is as there is no cure. I can have daily physical symptoms (Somatisation) as a juxtaposition to anxiety/panic disorder. They are debilitating and keep me socially reclusive and unable to function normally. I hear a lot of sports people talking about their story of depression, wonderful for awareness, but panic disorder and the daily physical/discomfort is not really a known issue to the public. If one has a broken arm in a sling, people will know something is wrong, no need to explain, right? With mental health, most of us put on a brave faces and a 'smile' so we don't suffer the wrath of 'you look fine'..get on with it! I was a record producer/writer of some of Australia's iconic artists. I struggled daily at the height of my humbling ARIA awarded career. I had a great psychotherapist using role play therapy as a method to live with acute panic disorder. Sometimes giving a symptom a 'name' can also reduce the anxiety about ..the anxiety! The first step for help is to talk to a GP and if they don't 'get you' another will. Mental health disorders are such an invisible infliction and family sometimes will not believe or understand how you feel. An ex partner, who was concerned about my condition at the time was once told by her brother, "give him a hard time and he'll snap out of it" - WRONG!! There are so many roads to recovery. Being kind to yourself is a good start and not worrying about what others might think. Trying to achieve 'one win per day' no matter how small is a great mantra, I know what it's like being bed bound due to horrific depression. Another, whether it be depression or anxiety is occupation of the mind, a real key. 'Acceptance' is another. Anything that takes you away from the conscious state you are presently in can work. Yes, Derealization and all the awful symptoms may return, but it's a reminder that they can and will dissipate. Congratulations to all at Beyond Blue and all the forum contributors, you are empowering other sufferers to have hope. Derealization really needs awareness, It's known as the 'scary anxiety symptom', but no one mentions it and it doesn't need to be scary.

[Croix]

Dear Sim777~

I've looked for your other post without success (which does not say that much for my search skills) so will take this as your first and welcome you to the Forum.

There has been a delay in your getting a response, however please be assured it is not you, or the subject of your post. Sometimes the system lets us down and does not function as we would like.

I can see how hard a road life has handed you and have to admire what you have said in your post, and your attitude too. As another person with a long term mental condition (PTSD, depression bouts and constant anxiety, together with physical symptoms that limit life) I agree completely.

I have not had constant de-realization, but when it has happened it seems to me like being on the other side of a pane of darkened glass, remote, divorced, no understanding or feelings, watching me and the world on the other side. You might understand what I mean even though it is a poor description.

Well, maybe 'no feelings' is wrong, fear is there as is hopelessness, even a pinch of frustration due to not understanding.

I'm lucky it passes as depression lifts. In time I regain feelings -even love- and more understanding.

You are so right about getting the right medical support, so many take a doctor as a font of wisdom and simply follow, this works if one is lucky, but for many taking charge and finding the best possible help is very necessary. I believe the relationship and confidence in a psychiatrist, or psychologist, plus one's GP, is the true basis of therapy and help.

Being told to 'snap out of it' or similar really riles me, it shows such a massive lack of understanding and lack of care to find out the truth. It only makes the person saying that feel they have done their bit, which is so far from the truth.

Small wins, even brushing one's teeth, can actually be great victories, judging oneself by everyday standards is a recipe for failure (a never ending circle) and is in any case quite inappropriate.

People wonder abut acceptance. For me it is taking into account my limits, to realize for example if I send an email rather than phone I'll spend my time wondering, that by viewing a certain movie or book I'll probably be triggered, and so on, that is my version. Others may view it differently.

Thank you for your post, it is one that will assist many (most read but do not post, it is easy to forget that)

Croix

[sim777]

Dear Croix,

Thank you so much for you reply as I am not getting any notifications but so glad that you could relate to this.

Depersonalization is like the sibling of Derealization in some way and could well be what you're experiencing too.

The brain can be like a pressure cooker and needs to 'release steam' so we get physical symptoms either due to electrical impulses or chemical changes. I guess a positive way to look at it is that our brains are telling us to address something or that something in our thought process, subconscious, needs attention. I know prolonged worry for me will precipitate derealization. The key is to understand that it can't hurt you, even though it can feel like a psychotic event, it's an anxiety event.

It's an insidious condition and the awareness is still very low. I will always get "what is that?...never heard of it'. It's impossible for a non sufferer to ever understand.

The 'stop complaining, you look fine' about these type of ailments are still real. It is generational thing I still suspect but the 'old stiff upper lip' and 'snap out of it' advice doesn't help and will just isolate the sufferer further. It still happens sadly.

The more people like yourself Croix, that share their own personal experience, the better the acceptance and understanding will be.

Be kind to yourself always, there is a way through even when it feels impossible.