Debilitating Health Anxiety

[SpookyScooter]

Hi,

I’ve been a long time reader of the forums - it helps me to feel like I’m not alone ☺️

Background
My dad died in hospital in 2017. We were on our way to see him, as we got the call that he was declining. I was the first one to enter his room and found him deceased. The doctors and nurses hadn’t realized he had passed, so I wasn’t warned when I walked into his room.

The following night, after getting home, I went into shock from seeing him deceased the day before. I had my first violent intrusive thought and it terrified me. At 2am, I bundled my child into the car and drove myself to emergency, because I thought I was going to lose my mind. They gave me Valium and sent me home. Luckily I had a wonderful therapist and over the next 2yrs I worked with her on my anxiety and intrusive thoughts. I was on medication for about a year, but weaned off and used the tools my therapist gave me to manage the anxiety and panic attacks.

Current issue
I am now suffering from health anxiety. Tonight, the sensations are overwhelming. I have a fear of suffocating and not being able to breathe. My throat feels tight and my nose feels blocked. These sensations have been building over several weeks and present themselves as my ultimate fear - suffocating.

I am beside myself tonight. I’m on the verge of calling an ambulance, fearing I’m having an allergic reaction (I don’t have any allergies).

Logically, I know it’s my anxiety that’s giving me these sensations. Im just so exhausted from constantly checking my symptoms and reassuring myself. Im emotionally wrecked 😔

I don’t want to go back on medication. I have a medication that I can take occasionally to ease my anxiety symptoms, but alas, my health anxiety is scared of taking any type of meds, even though I’ve used them before.

I feel like I am running a constant marathon, I’m so tired of this fear of something happening to me 🥺

[Sophie_M]

Hi SpookyScooter,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your story with us here. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for support, you also never know who will read this post and feel less alone in their own experiences. We are sorry to hear about the passing of your dad and your current struggles with anxiety. We understand that this must be so overwhelming for you. Please know that you never have to go through this alone, and support is always here for you.

If you would like to talk to someone we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.

We also strongly urge that in overwhelming moments you get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).

Please feel free to keep reaching out here on your thread whenever you feel up to it.

[Petal22]

Hi SpookyScooter,

Wellcome to our forums…

Sorry you are feeling this way…..

I understand anxiety I had severe anxiety OCD…….. obsessive compulsive disorder it’s an anxiety disorder……

I have now recovered from this condition…..

My OCD consisted of intrusive thoughts I’d also do compulsions to try to bring my anxiety down one of my compulsions was constantly seeking reassurance……. It was exhausting……… I felt like I was living in an internal hell…… my condition felt like a marathon……

My recovery started from seeing my gp we did a mental health plan together I was also put on a antidepressant to help me manage my anxiety….

I saw a clinical psychologist and psychiatrist who diagnosed me with OCD this then led me to a OCD clinic were I did an 8 week therapy were I learned to my master my OCD……

Have you seeked professional help for what you are going through now?

Here to chat, your not alone..

[SpookyScooter]

Hi Petal,

Thank you for the reply ☺️

I have/had the same as you; intrusive thoughts, followed by reassurance seeking to bring down the anxiety. It was a vicious cycle. I was even seeking reassurance from my psychologist. Of course she was onto my straight away and didn’t play into it 😄

I was on n medication for it in 2018, but I started stacking weight, so got off the meds and used mindfulness and the tools my psych gave me to deal with my anxiety and panicked attacks.

What was the course that you did? I’m a big believer that we can heal ourselves from anxiety, however I’m a little stuck in a cycle at the moment.

x

[SpookyScooter]

Thanks Sophie. I didn’t see the email that I got from the team last night. I’m feeling a bit better this morning ☺️

[Petal22]

Good morning SpookyScooter,

How are you feeling today?

Yes I totally understand the vicious cycle of OCD…….. I was caught up in it for a long time until I did my therapy I’ve now been free of the vicious cycle of OCD for 4 years going strong………

The therapy I did was meta cognitive therapy i highly recommend it! I did my therapy at a university that specialised in OCD…. It was taught by trainees over seen by a doctor…..I was given many tools for my OCD…. I did my therapy in a group with other people who had the same condition…… we learned what our OCD cycle was and how to disengage from its cycle………. I learned what my compulsions were eg…. Seeking reassurance, googling symptoms and then disengaged from the behaviour…..

we learned mindfulness, meditation, thought challenging, attention training…….

Are you seeing anyone at the moment for your OCD?

With medication you can ask for a antidepressant that doesn’t gain weight…… they are available….. I believe my antidepressant really helped me with my OCD it helped me to get on top of it……. Along with my therapy……. 😊

Here to chat to you..

[SpookyScooter]

Hi Petal 👋🏻

I felt better yesterday.

I went to the shopping center this morning and felt anxious and had a panic attack start to wash over me. I wanted to get in the car and go straight home, but I know better than that. If I ran away, that would enforce in my mind there was something to be afraid of. I stayed and looked around the shops, while trying to sit with the creeping-in panic attack. Eventually it subsided. As usual, when I was speaking to the sales assistants, I felt good, but as soon as I was in my own company, I felt panicky again.

I fill like the panic and increased anxiety in coinciding with ‘that time of the month’.

Thanks for the information on the meta cognitive therapy, I will read into it. When things are bad, my compulsions are the same as yours - googling symptoms in order to gain reassurance and lower the anxiety. I used to listen to the Headspace app and that was very helpful for mindfulness.

I also listen to The Anxiety Guy. He talks about how to heal yourself from health anxiety. It’s great to listen to someone who had health anxiety and how they overcame it.

I disengaged from my psych about 4 weeks ago, as I thought I could manage on my own and essentially I can do it, but I think it would be good to just see her once a month for maintenance. I’ve been seeing her for 6yrs and she has been incredible. Never judged me for some of the terrible intrusive thoughts I used to get.

I had tried two different medications for my anxiety and they both caused me to gain weight and they gave me trouble when I was weaning off them, which upped my anxiety. I do have medication that I can take occasionally, when my anxiety is very high, like the other night, but i hate taking any sort of medication lol. Had i just taken it, it would have taken the edge off, which is what I really needed.

I hope you’re having a nice day, thanks for chatting to me.

[Pumpkinella]

Hi SpookyScooter!

Thanks so much for sharing. I just wanted to post because I am a fellow anxiety sufferer and also had a flight phobia. Its funny because many of the symptoms you experience when monitoring your bodily sensations, I experience on a plane. For me, every sound, every ding, every rumble, even babies crying - communicate that something is incredibly wrong. When you think about it, its quite similar to health anxiety, every bodily sensation you experience is being interpreted as a form of danger signal.

I too have some health anxiety - I did have one specific period where I was utterly convinced I had cancer and I had a nervous breakdown. I so really relate to the interpretation of body sensations or changes in regularity as being potentially fatal.

I wanted to suggest, in addition to your regular therapist, an intensive cognitive behavioural course with a CBT specialist - specialising in phobias, anxieties and panic attacks. I saw one that worked wonders for me and my flight phobia. Having an intensive program focused solely on this particular aspect of my anxiety was really important and something a regular psychologist doesn't always provide. If you want some more information please let me know!

Hope you are well today 🙂

[Petal22]

Hi SpookyScooter,

Thats great you felt better yesterday 😊 I too used to have good days and bad days on the bad days I would tell myself tomorrow would be better….

I learned OCD worked on a sliding scale some days would be better than others as I learned my skills more the better days out weighed the bad ones…. Yours will too..

Well done for sitting with your feelings …. That’s great we sound like we had the same mind set with it……. I too use to do this I wasn’t going to let it beat me or stop me from doing the things I wanted to do no matter how my OCD made me feel….

I think it’s a good idea to keep seeing your psychologist maybe see if anyone in your area runs therapy for OCD…. I think OCD is a specialised condition and it takes a professional who understands it to help you to master it….. I did group therapy there were about 10 others in my group that had the same condition I found the group therapy to be great I didn’t feel so alone in it….. others had the same condition….. I highly recommend the therapy! Once you can learn to master your OCD you will begin to fly…… it just takes practice…..

I understand the increased anxiety at that time of month I’ve experienced that too….. I learned meditation in my therapy I learned how to watch my thoughts and not get caught up in them…….. so now when I get the thoughts I just let them be there…… I no longer perform compulsions from what I was taught….

im glad your psychologist is nice ……. I had some wonderful health professionals……. It’s so hard to open up about our intrusive thoughts so well done for doing so 😊 I opened up too and told them….. I thought if I don’t how am I going to get better?

Sorry your medication did to you what it did…., it some times takes trying a few to get the right one for you………

You sound like a resilient person so I think with the correct therapy you will learn how to master your OCD…. 😊

I’m here to chat to you …… thank you … I hope you have a lovely day too 😊

[SpookyScooter]

Hi Natalie 👋🏻

Thanks for sharing; I have a fear of flying also. It only started after the plane I was in hit massive turbulence and that was it for me. My fear is having no control of my surroundings ,feeling claustrophobic and not having the freedom of getting off. I haven’t been in an airplane for many years.

I’m sorry to read that your health anxiety lead to a nervous breakdown. I have been close to that myself…..many times 😅

My health anxiety peaks in the evenings. That mole that looks fine during the day, is all of a sudden a melanoma at night and I’m frantically booking an appointment with my GP for a skin check lol - it’s kinda funny now, but terrifying in the moment.

I have done CBT and ACT with my psych, though I never touched on the phobia of flying, as it’s not something i was interested in at the time and I had other anxieties that needed work at the time. It’s probably something I should revisit with her.

I’d love some more information, if you have any links to resources I can look at ❤️

All the best ⭐️