Anxiety... struggling

[Lowepar]

Hi, I have been struggling with anxiety for the past two years. I have struggled with anxiety in the past but not to this point. I have felt my anxiety worsen when my parents separated, my whole family tore apart and now my family doesnt talk to or have anything to do with one of my parents. That parent has moved on and found a partner who treats their kids as there own and forgets about their real family. That parent will not see me on their own without their partner and their kids. I feel constantly torn between the two parents. I feel lack of support from family, i talk to my partner but i feel it has gotten to the point where he has heard it over and over again, he's becoming tired off it.My anxiety is so bad i can hardly do everyday things, going to work is hard, going to the do the groceries etc everything that involves leaving the house, because i am constantly trying to fight off a panic attack and make a fool out of my self. I want to get help but even going to the doctors to get the help is hard. I feel as though i am becoming depressed because of my anxiety is taking over my life, i feel disconnected and i cant live my life the way that i want because of this anxiety.

[PamelaR]

A warm welcome to the Beyond Blue forums Lowepar

It is good you have reaching out to us. People here are caring, friendly and supportive. While I'm not a health professional, I do have PTSD, anxiety and depression so can share my experiences with you to see it helps.

Anxiety can be debilitating. Though the good news is, it is manageable. In the long term, while I have recovered and healed from my PTSD, I still do get episodes of anxiety. These days though, I'm so much more aware of it and can do something about it almost immediately so I don't charge headlong into depression because that was my cycle. I'd get triggered which set of my PTSD and severe anxiety symptoms which then lead to depression.

It's really good to have you here in the community. There is a lot of information on the home page of Beyond Blue about anxiety and depression. And as you've already found there are forums for both of these. There are many good threads to help out with anxiety. If you go to the search field and enter - TIPS FOR MANAGING ANXIETY you'll get a lot of entries.

I find asking questions help me to help others. There is no pressure to answer anything you don't want to.

Are you seeing a gp or health professional about your anxiety at the moment? It would be good to do, even if it's difficult.

Since family aren't a good source of support for you, do you have any closed trusted friends you can talk to? I find that talking through what's bothering me helps tremendously. There are a lot of support services out there if you want to contact someone, these include:

• Beyond Blue Support Service 1300 224 636
• Lifeline 13 11 14

Both these organisations have online chat services too. Their details can be found by doing a google search for the organisation.

One of the things that I've learnt to do that helps me through an anxiety attack is to - slow my breathing. I breath in for the count of 5 and breath out for the count of 5. I keep this going until I feel my body settle. In the TIPS thread, there is a range of other things to do such as - mindfulness, grounding, meditation, distraction. There are also a number of threads on each of these.

Another huge thing is - be kind and gentle with yourself. You've had a hard time in life. Separation of parents, the connection with new people are all stressful and hurtful for everyone concerned. Kids especially are not immune to adult's separation. They can internalise their parents anger, angst, unhappiness.

Keep reaching out to us.

[Lowepar]

Hi PamelaR,

Thank you for your support and advice. I find it really difficult to concerntrate on my breathing whilst having a panic attack. Do you have any other strategies that you use to cope with it? I am really struggling, i had a work training night last night and was asked to read a few things to the group, i struggled to even do that, i felt as though i couldnt breathe and tried to rush through the words but that made it worse, i just wanted to cry and leave. I know that im a good reader but when i know people are watching me i just go into panic. Ive never felt so weak and it really affected me. I have asked to have some time off work to work on getting myself better because i know thats what i need right now. I felt anxious to tell my work and was afraid they would be angry or disaapointed with me because i have had so many sick days due to anxiety although they dont know i suffer with anxiety. They were much more supportive then i could imagine and im glad that ive made this choice. Ive pushed myself for over 2 years everyday that i went to work feeling anxious and on edge of panic attack and i finally realise that pushing myself is not helping me and hopefully now i can just focus on getting myself better without the stress. Its nice to know people who have suffered with similar issues have gotten through them, makes me feel more hopeful that i can beat this.

Thank you

[PamelaR]

Hello Lowepar

Yes, breathing when in panic mode is difficult. Took me ages to master it, It just didn't happen. Maybe practice it when you're not in a panic?

It's breathing into your diaphragm - it's focusing on the breathe. See the breathe going in through your nose, your throat, your chest, lungs then diaphragm. Learn to follow it with your mind. Exhale through your mouth, again focus on the breathe going out.

Standing in front of a class and reading - sent me into summersaults too. My voice would disappear, couldn't think straight, or read straight. Everything takes practice! I first started out on a community radio station. Before hand I had to write out everything I was going to say, otherwise there'd be dead air. No one could see me, no one to make me quiver. I did this for about 2 years, then I volunteered to MC at our local music club evening. Ha, well that was the challenge. Standing in front of every one being eyeballed. Ouch, it hurt, but because many of the people in the audience were friends, it did make things a little easier.

Year or two later, I'm training a group of people how to prepare specific documents that our organisation required. These training sessions were a whole day for one document and 2 whole days for another document. Once again, I had to have everything written down. Can't say I was the most relaxed trainer, but I did it. My anxiety used to go through the roof, but once in the swing of things I settled. Now, standing in front of people while it gives me a little stage fright, I don't have the panic attacks I used to get.

So what are some more strategies -

• grounding your feet. I was taught that people took more notice of how you present yourself than what you say. This meant I had to learn to focus on my body, rather than on my mind. Your mind is pretty good at taking care of itself. There are different methods of grounding. I was thought I could do it anywhere, with shoes on while touching something, e.g. a lectern, desk. The people I did the course with, presented to one another and gave feedback on presentations. It was interesting everyone talked about how one moved their feet, hands, arms, heads. No one ever gave feedback about the content of the presentation. I was someone who suffered significantly from stage fright. But, after this course, I never looked back. Grounding helped significantly. Do a google search.

You can also go to your gp to talk about it and maybe get some medication? What do you think?

[Lowepar]

I have heard a little bit of grounding. Ive heard of naming things you can see, hear, smell, touch etc. Another one i have been taught from a GP is to count in my head, that seems to help a little. I am medication at the moment, just over a month which seems to help me sleep but no improvement in my anxiety or low moods. I have been back to my original GP who has refered me psychiatrist which im waiting to hear back from, as she would prefer him to do a proper diagnoses and prescribe the appropriate medication.

[PamelaR]

Hello Lowepar

I'm pleased to hear your GP is supportive and you're being referred back to your psychiatrist. I hope you get an appointment soon.

Grounding is always good to help bring your anxiety levels down, that along with breathing slowly can help.

Keep reaching out when you feel like it and let us know how things are going for you.