Anxiety/depression stemming from parenting...or lack of

[Steph]

The other day I had a lightbulb moment and thought I would write in my journal about my life, starting from when I was a baby. I thought of doing this because I wanted to see where my anxiety and depression stemmed from....all I can say is wow....I didn't realise how angry I was until I started writing!!! I haven't finished writing yet, I only got up to 6th grade. I realised I hold a lot of anger and resentment towards all of my parents (inc. step parents) for their lack of parenting, rejection, selfishness and instability. I know you get to a point where you need to take responsibility for yourself, but what I want to know is how you move on from the anger and resentment. In no way can I talk to my parents about it, they are not people you can just sit down and have a civilised conversation with. I believe my parents failed me and my siblings in so many ways. My mother and step-father turned us against our father, allowed very very 'untrustworthy' adults into our lives, kicked us out on our own when we were young, when they met new 'partners' they would just up and leave, told especially me that I was going to fail in life and that I wasn't very bright....the list goes on and on and on.

Is there anyone out there who experienced this? What did you do to move on from it (if you have)?

I would appreciate any input, because I dont want to bring children into the world if I am just going to repeat what my parents did. I feel so jealous when I see people who have amazing parents who do anything for them....I have never ever had that. While it has made me a stronger person for it and independant, it has also caused a great deal of anxiety and depression.

I will get back to writing my memoirs in the hopes at least I can address the issues...but any advice would be welcome 🙂

Thanks for reading!

[Jude]

I know where you're coming from!

Writing a letter to everyone you have an issue with really gets all those feelings of anger and pain right out of you  and then burning it works well.And just picking up the phone and imagining whoever you have an issue with is there on the other end of the line works really well too! Really let fly and say all the things you've always wanted to say to them. If you drive write their names on your tires and then go through all the much you can find. Or write their names on the bottom of your shoes and grind your feet into the dirt! But my favorite would have to be to either write their names on a piece of paper or photocopy a photo of them and then go to the bathroom and tear it up into tiny pieces with all the anger you feel at them. And then use the toilet! Or go to a large shopping mall like Westfield and tear up the photo or piece of paper with their names on it in each toilet in the shopping mall. And then imagine what people are on it all day long. It might be a bit off but it worked for me! And for anxiety imagine you're in a beautiful forest surrounded by mist. Give the mist a colour and then breathe it in so that with the first breath it fills your head neck and shoulders and arms. The 2nd breath fills your chest and the 3rd breath fills your stomach and hips and the 4th your legs. Do this very slowly breathing slowly.  Good luck! I hope these work for you!! They really work for me so I'm hoping they'll work for you!