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An apparently 'successful' person with mental illness who is struggling with the notion of going back to work – Please help
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11-10-2018
04:44 PM
To the outside observer I'm a very 'successful' person. I'm a single
guy, 32 years of age, I live a alone. I get on well with family. I have a few
good friends. I have a PhD. I have a job as a researcher. I have a house that
I'm paying off and a car that I own. Outside of work I haven't really had much
else one. I have done well at work, but I'm now burnt out. I have worked
extremely long hours (+weekends) doing lots of work that is itself hard to do.
I've stopped work and taken over three months leave so far. My diagnosis is depression (with mixed anxiety), generalised anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder and panic disorder. I'm seeing a psychologist and a psychiatrist every fortnight or so. Also, I'm on medication. I have had other medications in the past. My sick leave will be exhausted soon and for some unclear period of time at this stage I will be on income protection while I recover.
After a sustained period of working hard I've become burnt out, exhausted, cynical and anxious. This didn't come out of nowhere. I was finding it more and more difficult to get out of bed and make the 1.5 hour or so journey each way to work every day. This led me to increasingly arrive late or abruptly call in sick. In the end, despite my efforts to undertake a herculean task I was unable to finish the task on time. Nor was I able to finish the task by the several rescheduled due dates that followed. I was spent. Exhausted. This was 'the straw that broke the camel's back' as such.
At the moment, I may not be 'rational', but I find it hard to imagine going back to work: where I was; or somewhere else. The stress is just too much to handle.
I feel that my depression and anxiety are discounted and misunderstood a bit because I'm ostensibly 'successful'. It has been very difficult to achieve what I have. For the last 8 years, at the very least, I have had to deal with the repeated fallout of working too hard (a virtue, something society praises and admires – despite the emotional turmoil it can create). This instance is the worst ever for me. I feel thoroughly broken. I have thought long and hard about how to solve this problem solve. But I'm just exasperated. I spend much of my days just sleeping at the moment.
Has anyone else struggled similarly with the idea of returning to work? If so, what did you do and what were the outcomes? What would you suggest?
I've stopped work and taken over three months leave so far. My diagnosis is depression (with mixed anxiety), generalised anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder and panic disorder. I'm seeing a psychologist and a psychiatrist every fortnight or so. Also, I'm on medication. I have had other medications in the past. My sick leave will be exhausted soon and for some unclear period of time at this stage I will be on income protection while I recover.
After a sustained period of working hard I've become burnt out, exhausted, cynical and anxious. This didn't come out of nowhere. I was finding it more and more difficult to get out of bed and make the 1.5 hour or so journey each way to work every day. This led me to increasingly arrive late or abruptly call in sick. In the end, despite my efforts to undertake a herculean task I was unable to finish the task on time. Nor was I able to finish the task by the several rescheduled due dates that followed. I was spent. Exhausted. This was 'the straw that broke the camel's back' as such.
At the moment, I may not be 'rational', but I find it hard to imagine going back to work: where I was; or somewhere else. The stress is just too much to handle.
I feel that my depression and anxiety are discounted and misunderstood a bit because I'm ostensibly 'successful'. It has been very difficult to achieve what I have. For the last 8 years, at the very least, I have had to deal with the repeated fallout of working too hard (a virtue, something society praises and admires – despite the emotional turmoil it can create). This instance is the worst ever for me. I feel thoroughly broken. I have thought long and hard about how to solve this problem solve. But I'm just exasperated. I spend much of my days just sleeping at the moment.
Has anyone else struggled similarly with the idea of returning to work? If so, what did you do and what were the outcomes? What would you suggest?
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08-11-2018
01:33 PM
I have been feeling pretty disillusioned about the options
in front of me. I am very well aware that many other people have it worse than
myself. In fact, this is precisely why I feel somewhat slighted by the medical
profession (long story). In brief, apparently according to my current GP going
back to work will solve all of my problems (I'm exaggerating but you get the
gist of it). I wish I believed and shared their energy and enthusiasm. *Sigh* At
the very least, this has prompted me to demystify my income protection a bit
more...
For the benefit of people who may be still following this thread and interested in some of the more technical details about income protection. For my income protection I have recently learnt that:
(1) hypothetically provided there is supporting medical evidence, the current claim will continue even after I leave my workplace. So even if I was to resign, provided I was still paying the premiums and had the cover, I would be receiving the benefit.
(2) also hypothetically, if I felt I was able to go back to work in a different job and then the same illness reoccurred, I would still be covered in the different job and I would be able to go back on claim receiving the benefit, provided I was still paying the premiums and had the cover.
Now that I have had this crisis and these diagnoses etc... I would struggle to get these illnesses covered at all. They would likely be excluded or loaded with another insurer. In brief, this means I'm going to have to hold onto the insurance I have. At only 32, it is probably the only insurance I will ever have again. Get your insurance on a level premium (so the premiums don't go up with your age) when you're young and healthy.
For the benefit of people who may be still following this thread and interested in some of the more technical details about income protection. For my income protection I have recently learnt that:
(1) hypothetically provided there is supporting medical evidence, the current claim will continue even after I leave my workplace. So even if I was to resign, provided I was still paying the premiums and had the cover, I would be receiving the benefit.
(2) also hypothetically, if I felt I was able to go back to work in a different job and then the same illness reoccurred, I would still be covered in the different job and I would be able to go back on claim receiving the benefit, provided I was still paying the premiums and had the cover.
Now that I have had this crisis and these diagnoses etc... I would struggle to get these illnesses covered at all. They would likely be excluded or loaded with another insurer. In brief, this means I'm going to have to hold onto the insurance I have. At only 32, it is probably the only insurance I will ever have again. Get your insurance on a level premium (so the premiums don't go up with your age) when you're young and healthy.
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