A little help with chronic anxiety strategies & to help my family understand how to handle my anxiety?

[wonderinginwonderland]

I suffered eighteen years with anorexia, depression, anxiety... the list goes on. I had a rough childhood, but was also lucky in many ways. I would like to tell my story but first I need some advice.

I have recovered recently from depression and anorexia. But my anxiety blew through the roof. I found out that because of the harm I had caused to my body through malnutrition over all those years, that I most likely have osteoporosis, and they are investigating other issues that are causing my body to shut down. It feels like my body is falling apart.

I get super anxious, have panic attacks and lash out at my family and loved ones. I don't mean to, and I always apologise soon after because of how regretful and guilty I feel for doing that to them, they don't deserve it. And I'm a really caring person and I don't want to ever upset anyone with my words. It's not like I say mean things, but I get so panicky and flustered and I feel trapped like I need to escape, and all my feelings and thoughts come spluttering out at the people I love.

I have so much to live for and so many opportunities but the anxiety is triggering the depression and eating disorder. I fear the other illnesses will return if I don't get my anxiety under control. I have psychs and doctors. I've been in clinics and hospitals since I graduated high school 8 years ago. So I never really got to grow through that period normally like those around me. It became too much for my friends to see me this way, or to accept my issues, and they all drifted away one by one. Even though I always had a smile on my face.

The reason I'd rather talk on here is because I feel like I'm putting way too much on my family, they are dealing with a lot and they supported me so much I don't want them to think I'm unwell again. My boyfriend is having trouble with how to handle my attacks. I know I've found happiness but the anxiety is taking over everything and wearing me down. I'm starting to wonder if I may actually have panic disorder.

I guess my question is: is there anyone with advice or strategies or who just understands what I'm going through by leaving multiple disorders behind and being struck with ONE GIANT heavy one? Can anyone give me advice on how to help my boyfriend and family understand me more? We communicate well. But I need to know that I can overcome this. Have you? I honestly never felt this anxious before. Why am I so upset and angry over tiny things? Why can't I learn from my mistakes? Any advice?

[white knight]

Hi ww, welcome

I get you. Its late so I'll introduce you to a few threads you can read on this. Use google

Topic: how I eliminated anxiety- beyondblue

Topic: they just wont understand why?- beyondblue

Topic: embracing the embracer- beyondblue

Topic: anger, can you own it?- beyondblue

I hope they help.

Tony WK

[MsPurple]

hi wonderinginwonderland and welcome to the forums

I want to say first of all congratulations on overcoming your anorexia. I know you may still struggle with aspects of it but sounds like you are a lot better with this then you were in the past. I personally know how hard it is to beat. I myself had an eating disorder (technically diagnosed with EDNOS anorexia type, as I was under 18 and criteria was different) and it took a lot of intense therapy, gp visits, psych visits, parents help and lots of fights at the dinner table. I am super grateful they were there for me. This was almost 10 years ago but even know thinking back i still feel guilty about what this did to them and how I would yell at them over putting an extra tsp of oil in a family pot of food.

I also understand what you mean by anxiety making your eating disorder worse. Although I consider myself recovered I still have minor set backs or 'flare ups' or 'mini relapses'. I have never had a full relapse but my diet gets bad for a few weeks and my appetite goes down and I feel depressed about my body/mind/soul and I feel a need for control. When I start to feel these things I find it is necessary to go back to my GP and chat with them. I said my anxiety was getting worse and I explained why I thought so (trouble sleeping, waking up more in the middle of the night, not being able to concentrate, heart skips a beat etc). She then went over management plan for my anxiety and made adjustments (for me this was med base and going back to the psychologist). I still see a psychologist but usually 6 times a year. I stopped for a while due to lack of funds but my anxiety was getting worse I just had to re-shuffle the budget (no more take away dinners) to make it happen.Trying to sort your anxiety out can be hard, but trust me getting your team to help you will make it easier. Also being self aware is a really good thing to have and opening up here on the forums is a great step

I also suggest maybe trying meditation. I use an app called 'calm' but I have heard other forum users using 'headspace' or 'smiling minds'. My therapist told me to try it at least 5 times. I thought it wouldn't work but it really helped. I know use what I have learnt from it in my every day life. I do it before bed to help me sleep as it quites my racing mind.

I hope some of this helps. You are not alone. If you have any questions you want to ask me feel free I am an open book

MP