Why do I feel so dead?

[Zu]

I dont really know where to start. But I guess Ill just start the basics
for over a year now I have felt so dead. Im so tired & drained, I go to class with no motivation & just cant focus or work at all. After a while my head feels all heavy, like a headache but slightly different. I just feel so tired like I need to lay down. I usually always just end up laying on the desk all lesson. Which sucks because I do so well when I actually have energy, even when I do, the energy is fleeting. Itll be a couple weeks where Im just so alive. Its the best thing ever but so bittersweet because it wont last. Sometimes it’s just a couple hours, usually when I have a nice shift at work. Its overwhelming, I have to stop myself from crying over it. Its just really nice to feel alive. Eventually Ill crash again. Things were good the last few months, I thought maybe it was okay but its hit me hard again. Ive been back at school for 3 days and Im already so far behind. I just cant think.
I told some customers about how far behind I was, one of them jokingly replied telling me that if I keep that up Ill be stuck in this town working in a supermarket for the rest of my life. Probably the scariest thing anyone has ever said to me, especially since shes a complete stranger. I cant get out of this place soon enough. I thought maybe this would spark something in me but I got as far as 16 words on my essay before I laid down and cried over it.

Ive been to many different places trying to get an answer. Got numerous blood tests, had an MRI, the doctor just told me she didnt know & couldn’t help me. That was 7 months ago.

For a little bit more background information, I made a post on here about something similar to this around 18 months ago. Things werent as bad then. It cleared up a few weeks later (only took 8 months) & I was the happiest Id ever been for about 3 months until I moved to the other side of the country.
Thats when it began again, just so much worse this time.

Ive felt like this for so long that I don’t even really know what I’m supposed to feel like anymore. Is this normal? Does everyone feel like this?

I really want to do well at school but I just cant do anything when I’m like this. It keeps getting worse & I really need to get my shit together for VCE. Does anyone have any suggestions?Why do I feel so dead? What can I do about it?
Anything would be appreciated

Also sorry if this post is all over the place, I am tired and upset and not really thinking straight

[therising]

Hi Zu

So sorry to hear you're going through such an incredibly tough time. It can be so frustrating when you know something's not right and there just seem to be no obvious answer.

About 6 months back, I had reached the brink of absolute despair. My GP is a legend who ran a number of tests and sent me for a few due to the fact I had virtually no energy. I was convinced it had something to do with my B12 levels (seeing I have shots for this) but blood results actually showed high end of normal. Getting off the couch was a challenge on top of memory issues and things were only getting worse.

In the years preceding, I'd actually developed an interest in energy itself. As a lay person in the way of understanding, I'd accumulated books on Prana, quantum physics, epigenetics and so on. By the way, I'm far from an academic genius, so all were a pretty basic read. Don't know what happened but one day it hit me 'It's about the energy'. So, bamm, off I started on quest to simply build and play with energy.

If you're interested in this energy angle of things - basically we're energy. Our cells vibrate at different rates. The faster they vibrate, the more energetic we feel. When we exhaust our energy in a number of ways (mentally and physically), various systems in us slow down. As naturally energetic creatures, there are a number of natural ways to speed things up. We're hydro powered - so getting enough water in us to feed our cells is a must (preferably filtered water without chemicals). We're solar powered - Vitamin D is a biggy in the way of well being. The list goes on. You might even consider talking to a dietician in the way of food and energy. Some foods are natural energy boosters and some either give us little energy or require a lot of hard work to process.

What makes a big difference to the start of the day for me personally involves stretching exercises. Typically, we don't just jump out of bed in the morning raring to go. We stretch. Most folk will naturally give a single stretch but the benefit of continuous stretching for all parts of the body is incredible. Try it and notice how many times you yawn. Letting out relaxed energy helps boost mind and body. Our body will do a lot of things naturally, a lot of the time without us even noticing. Picking up on subtle cues as prompts to expand on those cues is highly beneficial.

If you're up for a fascinating read in regard to how we tick, 'Becoming Supernatural' by Dr Joe Dispenza is truly stunning.

🙂

[Zu]

Thanks for the advice! I’ll definitely give it a shot and let you know how it goes...

also thank you for the book recommendation, I’ve only read a few pages but so far it’s been really interesting 🙂

(sorry for the late reply)

[Zu]

A little update:

I tried what you suggested... I already walk a lot (Pokémon go nerd) so have plenty of exercise and sunlight. I drink and eat fairly well and I’ve been stretching for an hour almost everyday. While stretching helps to make my back and legs not hurt at work, nothing is getting better. Everything is a whole lot worse.

I’ve well and truely screwed myself over at school already.I really want to do well but no matter what, I keep setting myself up to fail because I literally cannot bring myself to do anything. I really want to, but it gets to the point where I’m so tired that I just don’t care anymore.

Went to the doctor and she sent me for more blood tests, don’t get those back for another week, but hopefully it comes up with something?

Have 3 exams tomorrow that I haven't studied for... wish me luck :0

[therising]

Hi Zu

I have my fingers crossed for the blood results and the exams. Good luck!

Wondering if during the time your energy levels where higher, can you pinpoint any significant difference in what you were doing or not doing at the time? Even if the change of scenery pointed to a difference in the kind of work you were doing or the kind of people that were around you. Personally, I can only spend a certain amount of time around some people - I don't mean to sound harsh but some have a tendency to drain me or bring me down.

My daughter's in year 12 this year and my son's in year 9. Not a fan of the Australian Education System. It's generally designed to leave its participants feeling uninspired and exhausted (this includes students and teachers). Personally, I was a bit of a daydreamer all throughout school, leaving some of my teachers questioning whether I was half asleep or not. I believe I simply preferred to daydream more than anything else. I think there's something wrong with a system that leaves people feeling stressed, bored and drained for years on end. Give yourself a lot of credit for sticking with it for more than a decade. It's an amazing achievement. Keep in mind, anything that causes long us long term unease or dis-ease is going to mess with our systems. Managing the imbalance of too much school/homework which cuts in to restorative sleep and relaxation time can begin to present issues.

Wonder if your GP has suggested seeing a dietician. Seen one on a number of occasions for various reasons regarding different family members. Found it to be a great education when it comes to the mind/body/energy connection.

Good luck again!

🙂