Uni and Depression

[GalaxyDalmatian]

So, this year has been a bit of a mess. I haven't been attending class (minimum attendance only) both from being in the position of choosing between studying and paying bills and also from those off days. Just being too exhausted to wake up and live life. I'd spend days in bed not eating and seeing no one. I fought hard in school to get where I am and I'm proud of it but I've moved out and it's hard to keep going without my support network around me. I really struggled in my transition. I failed half my subjects in my first semester and with two exams coming up tomorrow, I'm not feeling confident that I'll pass all my subjects this semester either. See, I've been struggling with a toxic mix of medical, financial and mental health issues for several years now. It's left me depressed and failing to cope with life in general. Listing out all the things that have gone wrong would be useless and petty so I'll leave it at that.

What I need now is for someone to tell me that I should keep fighting for my passion and that I'm worth more than my grades. These are the two things that I'm not getting from the people around me right now. I'm just a uni student looking for some encouraging words.

[geoff]

Hello GalaxyDalmation, first up, welcome, and I also want to say 'you are worth more than your grades', it's a difficult transition moving from school to uni, because at school you have your friends around to support each other, plus it's a busy life, there's so much you have to learn before the exams, but once you move to uni, your lifestyle changes dramatically.

The course at uni may not be the one you wanted to be enrolled in and you have new people to become accustomed to and you have much more time to yourself, so that's an enormous change from what you had before.

If you're not happy being at uni, then postpone your course and I know it's almost the end of the year, that doesn't matter you can take it up later on if you decide, you need to get your mind sorted out with the help starting with your doctor.

Find a part time job something you would like to do something that excites you and that is possibly something that instantly changes your outlook, however, please ask your doctor about the 'mental health plan', this entitles you to 10 Medicare paid sessions per year.

Would really like to hear back from you.

Geoff.

[White_Rose]

Dear GalaxyDalmatian

Welcome to the forum and thanks for telling us your story. It is hard going from school to uni as my children found. This means you are doing well to get as far as you have. While other students seem to breeze through their study it's often because they have their supports in place. I am guessing your uni is some distance from home which makes it difficult to live at home.

You are to be congratulated on getting this far. Many school leavers give up during the first semester when everything becomes so overwhelming. I fought hard in school to get where I am and I'm proud of it but I've moved out and it's hard to keep going without my support network.

I know it's easy for me to say stick with it while you are looking ahead and see more difficulties. You have already proved yourself as a fighter to get this far which makes me believe you can get through this bad patch. Most uni have campus counsellors and I am sure they have helped many students in the past. Can you contact them and ask for help?

I know that feeling of not wanting to get out of bed in the morning. It is a safe and warm spot so why would you choose to get back in life. Unfortunately it's the only way to gain your degree. By the way, what are you studying? Are you enjoying it?

There are many aspects to uni life that we do not know about until we get there. Living on your own sounds really good until the reality of paying the bills and eating starts to impinge. I'm not being nosey but do you have an income? I used to send my children money to live on but I could not afford a great deal and when two of them were at uni together it was an effort. Most students find sharing accommodation is great both for company/support and sharing the bills. Have you considered this?

Many students find part time jobs, quite often in the hospitality area. This gives you an income and equally important an opportunity to talk to others apart from uni students. It is also a motivation to get out of bed. You sound very depressed and unhappy. If you cannot find the campus counsellors perhaps you can see a local GP (since I presume you cannot go to your usual GP) and have a chat.

I see you have struggled with mental health issues for a while and this makes your success so far very commendable. Keep up the good work. When you look back you can be as proud of your degree as you have for getting to uni in the first place. The places where we struggle give us greater satisfaction when we succeed.

Mary

[romantic_thi3f]

Hello GalaxyDalmation,

Welcome to the forums! I can see that you've already gotten some great support so I'll just double down on your request 🙂

You should keep fighting for your passion.

You are more than your grades.

I know (from my own experience too) that this is very much easier said than done. Study is hard on its own, let alone adding depression to the mix. Study + Depression just makes for a really rough time, and it can make you think that it's not worth it, or that there's a sense of hopelessness if you can't get things right. But that's just the depression voice talking.

What is it that you are studying? Why did you decide to choose this course? I can tell you to fight for your passion but I know that it will mean more to you.

I also encourage you to look at the uni support services - I can guarantee you that other students are feeling this way too so the therapists there will have heard this stuff before. While I'm more than happy to try and give you encouraging words and pep talks, it's going to mean so much more coming from yourself.

Final very important note: nothing is ever petty. Unless it's Tom Petty singing or when you petty all the dogs. (Sorry that was lame! But also important).

RT

[GalaxyDalmatian]

Thank you all for responding. Considering where we are, I hope you all understand how much it meant to me to reach out, even in this way, and get all these positive and supportive responses. I really did need them. And I think I still need them now.

I'll say a little more about my situation. I'm enrolled in an interstate Uni doing engineering, hopefully biomechanics. It's something that I'm fascinated by and something that I think could help improve a lot of lives in the future. Being interstate, I'm well and truely away from family, friends and other people who've helped my in my life so far, including my long term psychiatrist. I'm funded in my study by my 5-year-old savings and some inheritance that my family put aside to get me through tertiary education. My parents had me at a much older age then most and so in the next couple of years they won't be able to maintain the allowance I've had in the past. Honestly, I'm not smart enough to get scholarships and my casual job doesn't pay enough to support me right now. I'm narcoleptic and on medication to help me maintain a normal life but it has its limitations and when I'm stressed or depressed I end up completely loosing days of my life. I lost my brother to cancer last year. We had a complicated relationship and I never really worked through my grief. Just ignored it until it overwhelmed me completely. I miss him.

I'm dealing with the consequences of this year and might be hearing from the Uni in a formal capacity about my poor academics. I hope that I'm going to be able to plead for consideration of difficult circumstances but I'm apprehensive of letting my past medical history stay on record. I don't know how to address this but I'm getting some help from a uni coordinator. I want to stay though. I've come this far and I don't want to give up or get kicked out for something that I should be able to manage.

This course is a lot for me and I am struggling but I do really want this. I enjoy what I'm doing, even if it's hard to do the things I enjoy sometimes. This is something I've struggled with for a while. It's a bit of a blow to my ego but I do need help with my mental health and I'm not in a position to do this alone. I'm surrounded by successful people in my life and it's hard since I seem to be the only one who's really, honestly, failing. I'm going to try to build a better support system for myself and learn how to push through my bad days.

[Vicbuilder]

Let me give you a personal story here, ill keep it short

My dad has an equivalent of a certificate but has an extremely high income - grades DO NOT equal success in life, mostly other things like business acumen, relationships with others do. In saying that my own experience in uni i understand you may need a degree for your chosen career path, there are employment places that can help with disability and mental health employment, but aside from that i am fighting for my passion, which is to build new homes, and im furiously not giving up no matter what, so hang in there im right beside you on following what your passionate about. Don't give up, take it one day at a time, focus on what can i do today to steer my life in the right direction? Fight tooth and nail, when you feel defeated, think about it for 5 min, positive self talk, think about how you can over come your defeat, then get to work on it and push yourself - but take self care time too, which will help you launch into your work. This has whats worked for me and i hope it works for you, maybe try finding your 'why'. Thats also what i did, it helped me (supporting my family and proving those who said i couldnt do it wrong) are part of my why, find yours too, it should be a deep passionate motivator and there is most likely more than 1 🙂