The only way i could write about this was in song

[cripjay15]

I need some help please reply, here you go:

not long ago if u would like to know, i got a stress fracture in my foot, crutches hurt like hell each step i wanted to scream and yell. everyday i wanted to quit, but that wasn’t even the worst bit. most days at lunch you would leave me alone, the best part of the day is when i went home. i spent 7 months of that damn sideline. once i was back there wasn’t any pain but i had to learn how to use my foot again. i worked so hard to get to where i wanted, for a while i felt like i was haunted, like no one wanted to be around me, like you locked the door and threw away the key. what was stopping me from ending it all? i just needed something small, i had something to look forward to, something that got me away from you, i achieved my goal. it was the best week of my life, a week away from all of the strife. i had finally got over all the shit, i had shoved it deep down in a pit. but as you know life isn’t fair i had done my knee just at the point when i felt like i was free. i don’t expect you to know what’s going on, just all my hopes of playing finals had gone, what i needed were some friends and that’s all, just something to distract me from going to ball but then u cut me out, i’ve been feeling shit for a while but i still go that mile to make myself smile i do it for you guys the ones who i thought were a friend but i guess u put those days to a end everything that you do all the shit you put me through i put that behind me but eventually i crack maybe when u stab me in the back i spent a whole day alone but u wouldn’t of known we had a plan all it takes is a phone, i never wanted to fight, i was on the edge and had a bad day so what did want me to say then u have a couple shit days too, and oh shit it didn’t have a clue. it’s only because you made a scene, but i couldn’t done it too i was keen once you are sad everyone comes your way, i am so sorry she feels like that hey? i feel that way too like people aren’t letting you be you i feel shit most of the time but what’s that going to gain just use ur brain, i know you probably are still in pain, but what about me that’s right you forgot i only takes one little thought, i always do that for you, but i just get pushed to the back of the queue, made me fell like i’m useless like i’m the one who is a dofus but even then u don’t even care u don’t even acknowledge that i’m even there u ignore the fact that u done something wrong and i’m the one who has to act strong

[Idontevenknow]

Hi cripjay15,

Sorry I can't reply in a song, I'm pretty crap at artistic things. Anyway, it seems like life has been pretty hard for you. Despite how hard you're working to get better from physical injury, friend problems etc. you're getting knocked back down. Unfortunately I'm not the sporty type either so I can't exactly offer you specific advice on that. All I can say is that I've been a similar situation where even though I'm doing everything I can, I'm never quite good enough or never quite there yet. ITS HELL. The thing that has got me through some of the lowest times is that:

Life is unfair, you can't do anything about it, go ahead and have a bit of a cry or angry outburst over it, but the all you can do is get up, wipe the dust off and keep going.

I know the hurt seems never ending but it will get better!

I'm not sure if talking to someone will help you get some of this frustration or other emotions off your chest. Is there a parent, friend, school counsellor, relative, family friend, coworker or anyone you feel comfortable talking with? I'm assuming you're not very comfortable with talking openly about stuff because you've stated the only way you can express your situation and feelings is through a song. Might be worth a try though. Lifeline (13 11 14) and Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) are also great listeners if you just want to get things off your chest.

It seems as though you have a lot of emotions held up inside of you. Maybe doing something to release it might help. Music and songs are a great way of expressing your feelings as you've shown really well. I'm not sure how physically okay you are at the moment but could something like boxing or something intense like that help. Maybe even screaming into a pillow or something, there are a lot of different things like that you can try. You can't lose much by giving it a go.

Remember that you're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.

Stay strong,

idek