Struggling more than ever
When i was 13 i broke, My mother never really listened to me or understood how much id missed out on. School, i never had the right uniform and was ridiculed by teachers and students. Big sis would always get lunch money, i never did.
At home, i missed out on birthdays because of bills, and when i was told it would be "made up to me" at tax time, instead me and both my sisters would get stuff, so i was still left missing out for my birthday.
Anytime id ever try telling mum of any of my problems, she acted as if they were too hard and sent me to my room where id spend the rest of the night crying.
When i broke, i yelled and sceamed and shut her down whenever she would speak. I made her listen to me i explained everything i had a problem with, she eventually agreed it was all very unfair. Soon after she took me to the doctors where she told him "My son gets angry all the time, i think its just teenage hormones" thats when he suggested i may have bi polar (he knew this from the 1 line my mum said) and from then i had been put on mood stabilisers.
That was 11 years ago, im still broken, i still get angry everyday, ive begged my mum to go back to the doctors and actually explain what my problem is/was, she refuses.
I feel as if i never got the right "help". I never got help for being broken. Now i feel as if im too far gone, and am so lost as to what to do anymore
We would recommend that you get in touch with an organisation called Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277. They provide relationship support services for individuals, families and communities and aim to support all people in Australia to achieve positive and respectful relationships.
In addition to this, there are always counsellors available via phone for your most difficult moments. Some of these 24/7 services include Lifeline on 13 11 14 and https://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/Online-Services/crisis-chat (online chat available 7pm-12am) Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467.
Many in our community have also been through a lot in their lives and will be able to talk through these feelings with you. If you would like to post further, please tell us more about what's on your mind and how we can best support you through this.
Seeing mental health professionals with your mum does hurt, trust me I know. It seems like they trust her opinion more than yours.Seeing that you are 24, you can see a doctor by yourself and they can't disclose your information to her because of confidentiality. You can see a psychologist by yourself, too. Try to get a mental health plan if you can. The toughest thing I have to tell myself and I will tell you to is that you don't need those mental health professionals' opinion of you.
Your health is a picture of your social determinants ie income, family support. In order to be well-adjusted you needed to have the resources, you needed SUPPORT.
I never got this support, but I see a psychologist fortnightly. You just need to explain your situation to them. I'm sorry to hear that you haven't been getting the support you need. You're not the one with the problem, she is the one making you feel sick. I know because when I got sick, my mum was one of the reasons why.