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Social Anxiety

Community Member

So for the past 6 years close to 7 ever since I've left school I left early as it wasn't for me and ever since I've really never left my house I lost all my friends and haven't really got anyone I can really call a friend besides my dog, I don't exactly know what the issue is but I feel as if its some sort of anxiety I find it really hard leaving the house I feel like everybody is just looking at me and judging and I can't handle it to the point I didn't even want to be the niece and nephews god father because I was too scared to get up in front of people I really find it hard doing things a normal 19 year old should be doing I've never worked a day in my life and have only ever had one interview I physically cannot go out and talk to people I find it really difficult and it saddens me some days I feel down and think I'm stupid and worthless I haven't exactly told my parents much of this they believe it's just "Confidence" and keep trying to push me into things I physically know that I cannot do and I just find it extremely difficult and it's putting a lot of stress on me and I don't think i'd ever tell them I don't know why I just can't do that and I don't think I would ever be able to tell them my mother wants me to go see a doctor but I just can't do that I feel as if i'm weak seeking help for 4 years now I've told myself that I can fix this on my own but I feel as if nothings going anywhere I'm still sitting in my house doing nothing with my life I don't even know what's wrong I just want to be a normal 19 year old. If I go out I have to be drinking and had a good amount of alcohol to socialize with anyone otherwise I'll sit there on my own too scared to talk to anyone.

Sorry for the thread being very long but if there's anyone else out there that is also going through something like this I'd love to know so I know i'm not the only one or if anyone thinks they may have an idea as to what I may be going through that'd also be great.

4 Replies 4

Community Member

Hi Jukee,

Welcome to the forum! It’s great you are seeking a solution now, while you’re still young. I’m 22, and I’ve struggled with mental illness for years. I was diagnosed with OCD at 13, and was hospitalised with an eating disorder at 19. I’ve been completely well for over a year and a half now. I was about 20 when I actually realised how much my life needed to change. I now have a good group of friends, I volunteer with kids, babysit, and I’m studying second year psychology at uni. This time three years ago I was in a really bad place, and my parents didn’t know if I’d make it.

Reach out to your family for support. If you live at home, that’s great. I still live at home, and so do a lot of my friends. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness. Going to your GP is a great first step. Tell them how you’re feeling and what you’re going through. Talking out loud about your concerns is really helpful, and means your doctor can give you the right help. You might be referred to a psychologist or counsellor. You’d probably be surprised by how many people see psychologists; you are also not “locked-in” once you start seeing a specialist. If after several sessions you feel uncomfortable with him or her, ask your GP about seeing a different person.

Once you start making progress with your GP and/or psychologist, try doing more things out of the house. If you feel personal pressure to drink when you’re out, then try social things which don’t involve drinking. You could join a club or sport team, spend time with siblings or cousins, and so on. I know how hard it can be to motivate yourself to socialise. I was really shy and socially awkward until I was 19 or 20, and then things slowly started to improve. If there is something you really want to do, then start taking small steps to get there. For example, if you want to study photography at TAFE, then you could start taking photos and put them in a big journal or folder. Also, this sort of thing could be a great hobby.

There are jobs which don’t require much social interaction, such as shelf-stacking in supermarkets, or being on a production line. Try applying for these types of jobs at first. Once your anxiety improves, you could go to a senior college and do Year 11 and 12. There are often lots of subjects to choose from- you don’t have to do the traditional subjects like maths and history.

I hope something I’ve said has been helpful.


Take care,


Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Jukee, welcome to the forums.

You're not alone in dealing with social anxiety. Have a look through the two threads below recently started by our members Katie101 and kelliew  - perhaps you can share some coping strategies together?

Social anxiety - by Katie 101

I can't handle the social anxiety anymore - by Kelliew

Community Member

Hi there Jukee


Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you so much for coming here and providing your post.


Firstly and foremostly, you are NOT on your own with all that you’re experiencing and feeling.  It’s something that is very common – it’s just that a lot of people can kind of mask or hide how they’re feeling and get through different situations by putting on a ‘pretend face’ or something along those lines.


You’re not stupid and you’re definitely not worthless – you’ve come here and have sought out help and doing so is a great positive step that you’ve created.  It IS good to hear that you have been out with friends from time to time and to do a bit of socializing – I can only imagine how difficult this would be for you, but you should feel damn good inside that you were able to go and try this.


It does sound like your parents are supportive, even though they don’t know the full extent to what you’re suffering from.  But judging from what your mother says to you about seeking help from a Dr, that is a good and positive thing.


My thought on this is that it would be a brilliant thing for you to do – to get yourself along to a Dr and to describe all that you’ve described here (and possibly more).  Write it down and put it in dot points and take that with you – it may make you feel better to know that you’ve got things a bit prepared – it may help you cope a bit better.


But Jukee, I really hope that you can do this as you’ve been suffering from this for so long now and as you can see, it’s too tough a task to try and beat this by yourself – in fact it’s nigh on impossible.


Again, awesome that you came here and I hope you can write back again.



ps:  what kind of dog do you have?

Community Member

Hello Jukee

I just joined this web site yesterday. The whole time I was reading your post, I kept on thinking how much I was and still am going through a similar hard time. I finished school and I had a job for 3 months, but then I was fired because I was incompetent. After that I was unemployed for 4 years and my life was one downward spiral. I was making no progress, I felt totally useless. I would go out during that time but I always felt not good enough because the people I was hanging out with all had jobs except for me. I also had to drink and smoke a lot when I did go out, just to feel comfortable. So I distanced myself from them and eventually lost contact completely with everyone. I have been working full time for a while now and have long given up the alcohol and cigarettes, but I still suffer from social anxiety, I worry that my work colleges might think I am a terrible person and I get nervous when I am having a conversation, I worry if I am talking too much or not enough and I try not say anything I will I regret, so I find myself often rehearsing to myself what I plan to say to some one or what I might say if a certain conversation might arise in the future, it can consume a lot of my thoughts. You are not weak, you are very strong to be able to live through this for 7 years. I personally would prefer to talk to somebody who is also going through a tough time rather than my parents or a counselor, so if you feel like talking to somebody I would be glad to chat with you, I also need somebody to talk to myself.

Stay strong