Sick of feeling so tireddd!!!

[Zu]

I’m not really sure where to start so I guess I’ll begin by saying that I feel SO unbelievably dead.
For the last 2 and a half years I have felt like absolute trash and it’s just getting worse and worse everyday. I’m constantly exhausted, for no apparent reason - regardless of how much I sleep, I still wake up feeling the same, if not worse. I almost always have zero motivation, energy or concentration. And to top it all off, constant headaches that don’t react to painkillers at all... woooo!
Things are pretty shit.
I spend the majority of my day either asleep or laying down. I’m currently on the brink of failing year 11, I’ve always done really well at school but can barely even bring myself to do work anymore.
Occasionally I’ll have energy bursts but that hasn’t happened for a long long time. I don’t even feel alive anymore.


My teachers were understanding at first but I feel like they’re just sick of my shit by now. I don’t blame them, there’s only so much someone can put up with, I’m sick of it too.


I’ve been to 5 doctors over the last year, none of which have been any help. It’s the same routine everytime, send me for various blood tests/scans and then say they can’t help. One even said that I just feel like this because ‘I’m a teenager.’ I’m obviously not a doctor but I’m pretty sure this can’t be normal. I’ve had pretty much any blood test you can name, an MRI, some X-rays... all have come back normal. I eat reasonably well, sleep well and exercise plenty, so I just don’t know why I feel so terrible!! Maybe my body just hates me 🤷‍♀️


I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m so sick of trying so hard and getting absolutely nowhere. It’s like I’m just sitting around waiting to magically feel better, no one can do anything to help, there’s nothing left to do but wait. I’m always so torn between wanting to keep trying and wanting to just give up.

Idk what the point of this post even is, I’m just sad that I’m wasting my high school years like this. It just feels so unfair and I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m sure others have it worse but I’m so sick of this!

[Sophie_M]

Hi Zu, 

We're so glad that you've reached out to our friendly forums tonight to share your journey with us. It sounds like you've been feeling tired and exhausted for such a long time, and we are so sorry to hear that how this has been impacting your wellbeing. We can hear your frustration, but please know that you've come to safe, non-judgemental space to talk things through and our community is here to offer as much support, advice and conversation as you need.

If you feel it may be helpful, we'd encourage you to get in touch with Kids Helpline. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under, and are available 24/7 on 1800 55 1800 or through online chat at: https://kidshelpline.com.au/. One of the friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and offer support and advice to help you through this. We’d also welcome you to reach out to our Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport.

We hope that you keep checking back in and let us know how you are going when you feel up to it. We're all here for you.

[geoff]

Hello Zu, and welcome.

What you have told us is undoubtedly a condition most of us would definitely recognise and being a teenage, certainly isn't the answer, because any form of depression can begin at any age, although I'm not qualified to mention this but know from my own experience.

It would be heartbreaking to go from one doctor onto another, and so on, without any of them realising that you could be suffering from any type of depression and not set up a mental health plan, which entitles you to10 Medicare paid sessions.

In our current circumstances, how you feel could well and truly exemplify your situation, never the less, it should be taken as someone who needs help.

To struggle through two and a half years is nothing to be disregarded as being a teenage, so can I suggest you ask people in Kids Helpline or BB for doctors who are concerned about what is going on and also what's happening.

You deserve this and hope you can get back to us.

Geoff.

[White_Rose]

Dear Zu

Welcome to the forum. It's a huge step to post here so many congratulations.

You sound very down. I wonder if you are depressed rather than have a physical illness. I am surprised one of your doctors has not picked this up earlier. However, here you are and feeling very distressed and frustrated.

There are a number of things you can do to help yourself. Go to the top of the page and look under The Facts. Please complete the K10 checklist and print it out. This is not a diagnostic tool, it's an indicator of where you are. I suggest you also print your post. Make an appointment to see your GP and take the checklist and your post for the GP. I think that will be very helpful to the doctor to make a diagnosis.

Also under The Facts you will find the link to information sheets by beyond blue. Please take the time to read some of them. You can download these sheets to your computer. Perhaps your parents will be interested in reading them as well. The way you describe yourself and your feelings does sound like depression but that is for your GP to say.

Where you go from there will be a discussion between you and the doctor. Do your parents go to the doctor with you? Probably a good idea to have mom or dad with you at the doctor's consultation. Your GP may want to prescribe an antidepressant medication.

Sadly many teenagers go through depression feeling pretty much as you do. It's a busy and challenging time in your life. Changing from a child into an adult, lots of school work to do and thinking about what happens when you leave school. These are enormous events in anyone's life and it's good if you have people around who can help and support you.

How does that sound? Do you think you can bear to see one more doctor? I think it will be helpful. Please don't be afraid. You can get well again and you do not need to tell your friends about the meds if they are prescribed. I know many people feel ashamed of taking medication for mental health reasons but really it's no different to having measles or similar.

I hope you will continue to post in here where we can support. We are always here.

Mary

[Zu]

Hey Geoff,

thanks for your reply. I was running out of characters to write so didn’t get to mention it...

After another doctors visit of being told I was fine, my teachers took a similar stance as you and suggested I get a mental health plan with another doc.

I did this probably about 2 months ago now and to be completely honest, I don’t think she understood a word I said. It’s like no matter what I said she just didn’t get the full idea of what I was trying to say. She didn’t seem particularly interested but we still did the plan. She referred me to a psychologist and also a rheumatologist (for possible chronic fatigue).
The Rheumatologist was supposed to call me but that still hasn’t happened so chances are it probably isn’t going to. (don’t you love the healthcare system?)
I had one session with the psychologist, who also didn’t seem to get my point. She kind of made it like this was my fault or something, spent the majority of time picking apart my daily routine and interests.
This town is quite cliquey and judgmental, from the moment I mentioned my school it kinda seemed to go downhill. (There’s nothing wrong with my school, it’s actually really great. We just get a bad rep because it’s the only public school).

Needless to say we didn’t get very far and I didn’t go back.

[Zu]

Hey Mary,

thank you for your reply 🙂
It’s kinda funny actually, you replied to my very first post on this forum a little over 2 years ago when this all first started. It’s nice to see you’re still here listening to everyone...so kind!

As I’ve written above in my reply to Geoff, my GP wasn’t particularly understanding at all. I think she wanted to try her best after hearing how many doctors I’d already seen but she just didn’t get what I was saying. She seemed to start grasping at straws trying to help in some way that nobody had tried yet, but it’s a bit hard to get anywhere doing that if she didn’t understand the full extent of what I was saying in the first place. I appreciate her efforts though.

My parents don’t come with me to these appointments. My parents don’t even know I have them. That probably sounds bad but it’s just a lot easier that way.
My mum organised the first doctor I went to, almost two years ago now. This doctor sent me for blood tests and an MRI. Everything was fine. My mum seemed to get it in her head that because I was ‘physically well’ that there must be something I’m doing wrong to cause this. Every time I mentioned how I felt, she would get all defensive that she ‘didn’t know what else to do.’
I was 15, I didn’t know what to do either. She kinda made it out like it was my fault. I didn’t want to stress her out or cost her more money with pointless appointments so I just stopped bringing it up and organised everything myself in secret.
Don’t take this the wrong way; she’s a great mum. I love her but she just doesn’t understand. I know she wouldn’t of meant to shut me down like that but it hurt. Doing things myself was the easier option.
I feel really bad about blocking her out like that, but it’d probably hurt her if she knew so better that she doesn’t.

thank you for all your suggestions:)

zu