I am here and I am noticing you, I can hear how tired and how much you are struggling and I would really like to say how proud I am that you are here and that you have reached out, that you can share your pain here and get if off your chest. You are with friends here and we will support and comfort you at this time.
Only if you want to, but I would really like to hear more about you and your story. Let me pull you out of the water you are drowning in and share some of the load. I am no professional just someone who cares.
I hope you can come back to chat some more.
Hugs to you
Feelings and emotions are such a funny old thing to manage. Thoughts and feelings together is another combination that is sometimes even harder to manage. How would you feel about checking in with your doctor to have a chat and to talk about some of your feelings and that you might need some extra help or support at this time. They are professionals with this sort of thing and perhaps can shed some light on this for you and give you an understanding of what perhaps you are going through.
Something else you could try is to get on the phone and perhaps give the Kids Helpline a call, they are on 1800 55 1800, I am not sure of your age but if you are older then perhaps even the wonderful people at Lifeline a call, they are on 13 11 14. There are so many awesome people out there to help you through this really tough time.
What does today look like for you? Do you have anything that you will be doing to perhaps make you feel good and put a smile on your face? Any plans for the weekend?
Friendships are hard to manage at the best of times so please do not feel like you are alone there. I think though that your friend probably knows you better than you think, and the fact that they have stuck around and are still there with you is a pretty good indicator that they enjoy your company. How would you feel about handing over some trust, so to speak to your friend, and perhaps accepting the friendship entirely and when you are feeling like you are about to second guess her, shut it down with some self talk like "I am worthy and she is my friend".
Self worth and self love and so very very important and I am so glad that you want to focus on this. I think the first thing to do is to try to do some things that you enjoy and that you are good at, so you can see that you have some success and that you are also capable of joy and happiness, things might be singing or writing or baking, anything that might give you some joy. Small wins and small steps are really important as this sort of self awareness and creating new feelings is not easy and it is not quick...but small steps....one at a time..then another one.
I find writing really really helpful, you can tackle it two ways too, you can have a page that you just purge on and get all of the negativity out and all the things you feel and want to say but would never dare...no one will read it and you may never read it again, just get the feelings out...then on the other page you might start to write all the things that are good about you, this I know will be daunting at first and you may only have a few things, but in time if you keep at it you will be able to embrace this as a special time when you find out really lovely things about yourself. You may start with simple things like, I am good at listening, I am a good friend, I love things that are purple, just really positive and happy thoughts.
Being a young person is so very tough and I can hear how much stress and pressure you are feeling and I would love to reach out and give you a big hug. I really feel that you are going to get the hang of this self love thing, you know why...because you want it...and you are worth it.
Another thing I just though of that make for happy thoughts is smells, things that make you feel happy or remind you of happy times, might be ice cream or flowers or perfume...just take some time to stand there and smell and enjoy the happy feeling it is bringing to you.
Big hugs to you soo-ah