Running out of room to escape? time to fight? with med?

[Bob_S]

Hi all,

I'm turning 21 and finding myself out of room to escape from my anxiety & depression.

Here's the breakdown:

I've always had both depression and anxiety, since the age of 6-7 from memory. However, probably due to my grandfather's love for fishing, I've learned over the years that thrilling outdoors activities forces me to take my mind off these negative thoughts, and "live in the moment", in these good times, I feel truly close to those around me and negative thoughts rarely come up.

However, like how there are no never-ending banquets, these activities become "normal" and lose their thrill, and I come back to the starting point, and the few friends I've been able to make, as well as my family, feel like they are way too distant to grasp, like how water slips through my fingers when I try to grasp it. (To be honest, it's also probably due to my anxiety/fear of been seen as someone who is depressed and 'need help', thus over the years, I've worked very hard to build a facade that I'm a healthy, positive, optimistic and adventurous.)

And now, I have found myself at a crossroad.

In order to keep things exciting and keep my depression away, I've been progressing up the outdoor/extreme sports ladder. it all started with fishing, then camping, afterwards, there's downhill mountain biking, 4wd, freediving/spearfishing/scuba-diving. HOWEVER....These are also quickly becoming unable to keep my depression away, YET... I can no longer afford to tap into new activities. Thus, why I believe I have come to a stop in my escape.

Recently, I've been thinking of new ways to fight my problems. 1st(&worst): Alcohol/Drug, I don't drink, nor do drugs, for the reason that I fear I would develop a dependence on it, thus not a viable option. 2nd: Find a girlfriend to take my attention off....but my anxiety is like a leg iron...thus, I haven't dared to seek a girlfriend even in the good times, let alone now. 3rd: seek professional help.... nope, anxiety. 4th (&probably last): antidepressant medication????

I have a growing suspicion that medication would be my last and final resort... Does anyone have any experience like mine? any recommendations?

Many thanks for reading my rant on myself. this is the first time that I have ever spoken out, I think it makes me feel a bit better.

Sincerely,

ME.

[geoff]

Hello Bob, a warm welcome to the forums.

Your love of fishing with your grandfather must have his enjoyment, fishing with you, an achievement that will probably never be forgotten.

Depression has the ability to halt everything you once loved to do, no matter how much you enjoyed doing, it takes away any inclination, desire or contemplate, that's the strength of this illness and alcohol and/or drug can become a dependence, as alcohol did with me.

Finding a partner can be good to begin with, but over time that's when you could begin to open up and they may not be prepared to cooperate and want to help you, however, on many occasions, this isn't the situation.

Medication prescribed by your doctor is started on a low dosage and any side effects that you read or are told about may not happen to you, the drug companies have to mention everything for legal reasons, but none of these may affect you but instead benefit you along with finding a psychologist you feel comfortable in talking with.

I really understand your situation as I was also afraid of talking to someone and also doubtful of medication, but it's one hurdle at a time, so please take it slowly and get back to us whenever you're available.

Geoff.

[therising]

Hi Bob

I gotta say you're an inspiration in so many ways, how you recognised and practiced ways of managing your anxiety, your depression and your thought processing, among many other things. It can definitely be challenging when we run out of ideas when it comes to managing our mental health.

Personally, I've found the greatest way to understand why I'm feeling the way I am at times (down or anxious) involves better understanding my self. Finding the right person/people for such a massive undertaking is probably the greatest part of the challenge. I remained in my depression for about 15 years partly because I hadn't found the right people. I finally found them. Being a 50yo gal, it's only in the past 6 months or so that I experienced a few overwhelming bouts of anxiety without fully understanding why. I had to know why, which led me to find out. I now know that I cannot manage a largely unstructured life. I must have basic structure or a lack of time to manage projects leads me to incredible mental and physical hyperactivity (stress). I also need to manage ways of naturally relaxing.

All the things you mentioned when it comes to managing depression and anxiety you might call natural therapies. They were naturally therapeutic for you. Given this nature to respond well to natural therapy, there can be dozens of others that could serve you well. Finding a GP who specialises in or knows someone who specialises in complementary medicine/allied health may be something worth considering. Talk therapy (psychotherapy), relaxation/breathing therapy, physiotherapy (massage to release tension), a dietician to help manage your chemistry through diet are just a handful of natural ways to manage. 'Mood and food' is a fascinating topic well worth googling.

With the 'talk therapy', maybe it's time to get to the bottom of why you've been facing depression and anxiety for so long. Whether there were influences in your young life (people who displayed a depressed/anxious nature) that you kind of learned from or whether you find out you're naturally highly sensitive to the physical feelings that come with being brought down, being uninspired, not being guided in productive ways etc, it's worth finding out. If you possess the level of hyperactivity comparable to someone with ADHD, having others label this as 'anxiety' won't help you channel/vent it in productive ways that may give you both relief and satisfaction.

Finding out why we tick the way we do can be liberating.

🙂

[white knight]

In my experience a blend of remedies is best. That includes GP attendance and likely medication.

Tony