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Restrained from your dreams by doubts

Community Member

Hi all,

I am 21, still young I know, but I have this growing fear that I am wasting my life by not doing the things I want to do. Or rather, I have little idea about how to make these things happen and sometimes I consider just leaving my life completely and going to join some hippy commune away from everything. I have a declining social reach as I am quite introverted and many people or old friends don't have time to invest in me so I get forgotten about, I want to start a band but have no connections to like-minded individuals, I have been in a long term relationship and I am beginning to feel trapped in that I want to live a single life again through fears of not meeting more people (but I don't want to ruin a good friendship either), and I want to leave Adelaide to find a more meaningful life purpose but don't know if that's realistic or where to go. I just feel weighted down by my lack of social life and my fear of breaking away from conformity to be free.

hope I'm not speaking in tongues and someone can offer their similar situational adivce. Thanks

1 Reply 1

Community Champion
Community Champion
Dear FlowUnknown~

Welcome here to the Forum. You are not speaking in tongues, many have felt the same way.

21 is really neither young nor old. It is old enough for you to have had a chance to start to learn about yourself and gain some experience in the ways of the world

As such it is perfectly natural to have goals you would like to achieve during your life, may I ask what sort of things you have in mind? It is music or more?

Many things worth having do not have a direct or easy path to them and can take both determination, work and luck to achieve. Even something simple like being in a band, writing a book, farming …. It can take time to start towards theses aspirations, and I’m afraid are not normally in another state or city, but within your home city as much as anywhere, which despite having a reputation for being quiet certainly has a most diverse and active community.

Should you wish to leave to go elsewhere you will leave all the support and local familiarity behind and have a whole new set of problems to solve. True, sometimes you have to, if you wanted to be an actor NIDA is in Sydney, and do on.

Starting a band may mean joining one first, rather than starting from scratch, once you have a reputation and familiarity with the scene things would be easier. Now Covid seems to be more or less under control musical events and locations are starting to return.

Feeling trapped in a long term relationship is sad but does happen. It can be bad for both parties involved. Do you think it is something you can talk over with your partner, perhaps with a view to supplying the social activity you miss?

I’ve no experience with hippy communes, but on the whole have felt them to be a sort term and unstable existence with more conflicts and less methods of resolution than you have now..

You are always welcome here